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Post Reply Why do some people get upset when someone hates what they like?
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26 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/21/17
I do this some times too and I hate it.

For example: Janice likes the new movie featuring her favorite actors but Dennis hates the movie a lot. Janice gets upset and defensive over the fact that Dennis hates the new movie. But Dennis doesn't care and feels he is entitled to his opinion. This causes tension between both Janice and Dennis.

Why are there people like Janice? Like what is so wrong with Dennis hating something we like? Dennis never stated he hated Janice. He just wasn't a fan of the movie. Janice just thinks that the movie she likes is special and should be loved by everyone.

I just find it silly and childish that me and some people get this way. I see it all the damn time in the anime fandoms and even other fandoms.

Is it because when a person insults something we enjoy we take it as the person insulting us indirectly? Is that really it?

Please tell me.


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27 / M / Canada Ontario
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/21/17
Ive often wondered the same thing...

and why do so many people try to make opinions about things that are impossible to make opinions about 0.0

1+1=2
well in my opinion it equals 2.3
0.0
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/28/17
I'm like this "Janice" in this situation, so I'll try to help you understand my perspective a bit.

Let's say I like a certain thing. Everything about that thing represents who I am, how I see myself, how I see or want the world to be. I fully relate to that thing, and the thing can be taken as a representation of myself and what I believe. THEN. Someone says that they don't like that thing. That thing that represents me or what I most love. By telling me they don't like that thing, that translates to me that they don't like me or what I most love.

They are probably not trying to say they don't like me, but this is how I take it, because of what that thing represents to me, which is myself. They probably don't realize how much that thing means to me due to its representation, so they don't understand WHY them not liking this thing is so upsetting to me. They don't understand that them not liking the thing I love or relate to translates to them not liking me.

It's especially upsetting if the person you are conversing with is someone you really like, enjoy, or care about. Let's say they are a friend, or WORSE a romantic partner. They just said that they don't like something that you relate to an important part of yourself. So how can you trust them to be a good friend or partner when they don't like something so important?

Yes, it can be seen as an overreaction. But it's not really. Not if you think about how things can represent other things. Janice loved that movie, or some concept within that movie, so much that it upset her when Dennis told her that he didn't like it. If it didn't matter to her that she enjoyed it and he didn't, then she wouldn't have gotten that upset.

The majority of the time it doesn't matter to me if people don't like what I enjoy. But there are some movies or other things that are integral to who I am. I used to be in love with someone that told me one day that he didn't like art. I am an artist. That relationship ended. I couldn't be with someone who didn't LIKE an extremely CORE part of WHO I am.

Do you understand a little better now?
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/22/17
I'm not bothered if someone merely states that he doesn't like it but if he states that it is crap like it's a fact, that bothers me. I have to make a conscious effort to keep from bandwagoning with that notion.
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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/30/17
Iunno, cause I am a sensitive asshole?
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27 / M / Canada Ontario
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Posted 4/21/17

Hazard wrote:

I'm like this "Janice" in this situation, so I'll try to help you understand my perspective a bit.

Let's say I like a certain thing. Everything about that thing represents who I am, how I see myself, how I see or want the world to be. I fully relate to that thing, and the thing can be taken as a representation of myself and what I believe. THEN. Someone says that they don't like that thing. That thing that represents me or what I most love. By telling me they don't like that thing, that translates to me that they don't like me or what I most love.

They are probably not trying to say they don't like me, but this is how I take it, because of what that thing represents to me, which is myself. They probably don't realize how much that thing means to me due to its representation, so they don't understand WHY them not liking this thing is so upsetting to me. They don't understand that them not liking the thing I love or relate to translates to them not liking me.

It's especially upsetting if the person you are conversing with is someone you really like, enjoy, or care about. Let's say they are a friend, or WORSE a romantic partner. They just said that they don't like something that you relate to an important part of yourself. So how can you trust them to be a good friend or partner when they don't like something so important?

Yes, it can be seen as an overreaction. But it's not really. Not if you think about how things can represent other things. Janice loved that movie, or some concept within that movie, so much that it upset her when Dennis told her that he didn't like it. If it didn't matter to her that she enjoyed it and he didn't, then she wouldn't have gotten that upset.

The majority of the time it doesn't matter to me if people don't like what I enjoy. But there are some movies or other things that are integral to who I am. I used to be in love with someone that told me one day that he didn't like art. I am an artist. That relationship ended. I couldn't be with someone who didn't LIKE an extremely CORE part of WHO I am.

Do you understand a little better now?


No matter how much you relate to or like somethin that something isnt you. You are far more complex and wonderful than annything else in the world. So if I dont like that thing you relate to then I dont like that thing. That could mean I dont like that tiny small minascule bit of you that you felt you related to. Or it could mean the context of how that thing is in you is to me completely different so I actually like or love that about you. So the problem then lies in the fact you just dont understand how complex you really are
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27 / M / Canada Ontario
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/22/17

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Iunno, cause I am a sensitive asshole?


Imoutos are the worst thing on the planet the absolute lowest scum. They can hardly count as being humans and are the furthest things from cute on the planet >.>
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 6/2/17

MrEnder1337 wrote:


PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Iunno, cause I am a sensitive asshole?


Imoutos are the worst thing on the planet the absolute lowest scum. They can hardly count as being humans and are the furthest things from cute on the planet >.>


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34 / M / CHICAGO
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Posted 4/21/17
Well generally you'd want others to like what you do so the product dose well enough for the company to make more. if no one watched the show, its canceled. no one buys the DVDs or Blue-rays, its a done deal for the IP. Finding others that likes the product you like short of gives you the reassurance more will be made. finding those who hate it builds the concern that it was a one time high.
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27 / M / Canada Ontario
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/22/17


Thats right you just stand there with a knife making excuses you filthy imouto lover >.>

((lol you replied to that so fast I hope you realize Im totally kidding XD))
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Posted 4/21/17
It's funny because many people who get extremely upset about others hating what they like tend to also be the kind of people who are passionate about hating things other people enjoy.
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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 4/21/17
Seems to be a matter of "shit taste". We do not like people thinking poorly of us, and of that is our taste in entertainment. It is a segment of ourselves, and when people question the validity of such a thing, we question ourselves or outright deny without thinking.

That is how insults work. Because we dislike not being considered to be as well (adjective), and we hate to be uncertain, especially about what we should do.
Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/30/17

Is it because when a person insults something we enjoy we take it as the person insulting us indirectly? Is that really it?

yup

you hurt their feelings, just apologize and be nice. (assuming you care about this person)
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20 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/29/17
I like fact and objectivity and I hate people who hate it because they get elected as leaders of one of the world's biggest nation without proper experience, training or briefing and throw the whole country to shit.
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28 / F
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Posted 4/21/17 , edited 4/22/17
For me it more about the respect. I don't mind if someone doesn't like the same things I do, it is something I expect, but when they start disrepecting me for what I like, trying to put me down or forcefully make me conform to their views is when I start to have a problem.

For example, I love the harem genre which tends to get a lot of flake, which is completely understandable as the same formula is used over and over and there generally (not always) a lot of depth to them. I can step back from my own like of this particular genre and see the why of the other said. Yet, when people let their dislike get the best of them and start saying things like: "People who like harems are all pervs." or, "There most be something wrong with you if you like harmes. Where's your taste?"

Things like that. Where people whom dislike something are twisting that dislike onto the people who do, acting like those people are beneath them. So, in short, I don't usually mind when people hate on or make fun of something I like, but when they start attacking me for liking it is when I start to feel a little, if not a lot defensive. It's okay to dislike something, even say why that is and what not, but be respectful of those that do like it? The feeling of belittlement is never fun.

I have no idea if I made any sense here.
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