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Post Reply When you are 24 years old and your parents still refuse to acknowledge you as an adult
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24 / F
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
Being 24 I understand that I don't have all the knowledge of the world, but why is it every time you try to leave the nest they always have to discourage you. At least in my case they always do with comments such as "You don't know what the true cost of living on your own is don't put yourself through unnecessary troubles." Though the cost of living with my parents is already 500 a month and if I choose to stay living with my parents I must pay 700. I already pay for my own education, car, insurance, and other miscellaneous bills. Don't see how it doesn't get much more real world then that. Sorry a little venting but I really wanted to know the opinions of others or if I just had my own head stuck up my ass.
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∞ / ☿ / PDX
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
They're just holding you back. Hopefully there isn't a history of psychological abuse here, but it sounds like they're manipulating you to keep you and your income and labor safe and close and convenient for their needs and desires.
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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
It is pretty frustrating when your parents flippantly urge you to start being more independent, then chastise you for your lack of experience and skills.

Well....yeah. Adults make mistakes too; in fact, adults have to make mistakes before they can be better adults. It is the most harmful form of coddling, to urge your children to go out on there on own when they mostly feel resentment for money woes, then have them doubt your ability because they never saw the ability one has or could have, because they never gave their children a chance to spread their wings, much less fly.

Never making mistakes only happens when one is never given a chance to make them in the first place, and you end with people like me, who did not start cooking till they were 19.

That is my personal experience, and I feel it relates.
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28 / M
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
Yeah pretty much cover the basics. Utilities, insurance, rent/mortgage, food and stuff. Well to be honest your need at least 2 Gs to furnish a place and get the essentials but after the first month (which is always hard for various reasons) you should see things level off. You just need to budget and live within your means. Avoid living off a credit card if you can and once you get into a rhythm you can start saving for rainy days. Just make sure your job is a stable one. You wouldn't want to break any leases.
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Hoosierville
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/7/17
If you move out expect $600-$1000 in housing/utility bills. Idk your situation but if you make decent money than you could afford it. It sounds more like they NEED your money and don't want it to stop coming.
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In my straight ja...
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
A lot of parents are like that. In some ways a child becomes their lives for so long it's hard to let go . They don't know what to do with out you there .
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24 / F
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17

MysticGon wrote:

Yeah pretty much cover the basics. Utilities, insurance, rent/mortgage, food and stuff. Well to be honest your need at least 2 Gs to furnish a place and get the essentials but after the first month (which is always hard for various reasons) you should see things level off. You just need to budget and live within your means. Avoid living off a credit card if you can and once you get into a rhythm you can start saving for rainy days. Just make sure your job is a stable one. You wouldn't want to break any leases.


At my current job I make about 2k a month and I work in a hospital setting so very stable. This is why I feel very frustrated that my parents are predicting that I won't be able to handle it. I actually didn't think about the furniture as my parents said I could take some of their excess furniture, but that is a really good think to point out to others who are also thinking about moving out. Thanks for all the advice from everyone, it really gives me insight.
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Hoosierville
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17

jcsteinmeyer wrote:


MysticGon wrote:

Yeah pretty much cover the basics. Utilities, insurance, rent/mortgage, food and stuff. Well to be honest your need at least 2 Gs to furnish a place and get the essentials but after the first month (which is always hard for various reasons) you should see things level off. You just need to budget and live within your means. Avoid living off a credit card if you can and once you get into a rhythm you can start saving for rainy days. Just make sure your job is a stable one. You wouldn't want to break any leases.


At my current job I make about 2k a month and I work in a hospital setting so very stable. This is why I feel very frustrated that my parents are predicting that I won't be able to handle it. I actually didn't think about the furniture as my parents said I could take some of their excess furniture, but that is a really good think to point out to others who are also thinking about moving out. Thanks for all the advice from everyone, it really gives me insight.


Stock pile cooking equipment, furniture, and bathroom stuff. Also need a vaccum and a mower if your in a house.
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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
I can be your oniichanriffic live in onii chan!
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M
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
Seppuku is the only honorable way left.
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23 / M / Birmingham, UK
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
You're always a child to your parents, it's just how parents are, if you want to prove you're an adult then move out, don't ask them for permission, just tell them you're getting your own place and go
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Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
Tell them that it is time for you to make your own mistakes. You don't need them to make your mistakes for you anymore.
Posted 5/5/17 , edited 5/6/17
I know a couple people who have moved out on their own and have started with living with a roommate or a couple roommates just to lower the cost per month plus you can always share expenses for furniture, tv, etc. Just to consider if you want to move out and want to find an affordable way of starting out on your own.
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Posted 5/6/17
I don't have that experience because I left the family home at the age of 19. I lived with some room mates for two years before I moved to a place of my own. I started getting stuff for the day I was going to be on my own. Small basic stuff like cutlery, dinner plates, a small tv, bed linen, pots/pans, iron etc. When I got my own place I got a mix of cast off stuff family and friends didn't want plus new stuff plus the odd dumpster/garden discovery to add to furnish my place. I live in an area where people put out stuff they no longer want in their front gardens with a note "please help yourself". They tend to put out solid wood good furniture, door size framed mirrors (in good condition) etc. Those things get taken up before the day ends.

When I visited my grandmother's home I still wasn't allowed to be in her kitchen. She'd never let us stay in there when we were children and I assumed she'd be more welcoming when I was officially an adult. It turned out that she'd never be comfortable with me in her space.
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34 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 5/6/17
the smart move here is to stay and put up with their crap. save yo money, man. save yo money.
hey, im 33, im married, i live alone, and my mother still treats me like im 13. especially when it comes to money. parent will be parents. just be the mature one and put up with it with a smile becuase they really cant let you grow up some times. when your whole life has been centered around raising and protection someone, whats left when the child is gone???
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