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Post Reply When you are 24 years old and your parents still refuse to acknowledge you as an adult
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21 / M / Queensland, Austr...
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Posted 5/6/17
I pay 380 in board where I live... 700 is a lot
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π / Train / Railyard
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Posted 5/6/17

jcsteinmeyer wrote:

Being 24 I understand that I don't have all the knowledge of the world, but why is it every time you try to leave the nest they always have to discourage you. At least in my case they always do with comments such as "You don't know what the true cost of living on your own is don't put yourself through unnecessary troubles." Though the cost of living with my parents is already 500 a month and if I choose to stay living with my parents I must pay 700. I already pay for my own education, car, insurance, and other miscellaneous bills. Don't see how it doesn't get much more real world then that. Sorry a little venting but I really wanted to know the opinions of others or if I just had my own head stuck up my ass.


It's hard for them to let go of you, mine are the same, but they're not openly telling me those things. The solution is to just go for it, don't let the things they say reach your head. In my case it's financially a better choice to stay with them for now, but I started looking for jobs abroad. I told mom because she can be supportive, but I'll let dad find out last, because if he does find out he'll keep trying to "scare" me. Saying things like "But what if ... happens? Can you deal with that yourself?". He's overprotective to the point that it's annoying.

In my opinion, if that's what you want, go for it, even if you do have some hardships, everyone has them and you'll learn to get over them. You are an adult, you can make this choice.

good luck
qwueri 
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31 / M
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Posted 5/6/17 , edited 5/6/17
Doesn't matter what you do, to your parents you're always their child. If it makes you feel any better I was living with my parents until I was 30 and saved enough money to buy my own house :P

If you're serious about moving out, start calculating rent and mortgage prices in your area, and probably add at least ~$100 a week in food/routine expenses, and get a rough idea from your parents as far as utility costs. Those are the big ones, though keep in mind you need to keep some set aside for emergencies and down payments for bigger purchases like a vehicle.
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37 / M / Houston, Texas
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Posted 5/6/17
Create a budget of living expenses for your local area. Start meeting the cost of that budget monthly in a
savings account at your bank(minus what you're paying for rent and daily living expenses"food, gas, etc").
Keep the rest of your excess money in a checking account. All non budgeted spending for the year will be
drawn from your checking account. At the end of the year if you still have 20% of your earned income in
the checking account then you're ready.

Get your parents involved with the creation of your budget for living expenses and throughout this process
I describe above keep notes of all transactions. At the end of the year show your parents your notes and how
much you've been able to save up in the checking account. That should convince them you're ready and
serious about moving out.

Outside of all this if you've been working at the hospital for more than a year and don't have at least $3,000 -
$4,000 saved up already then you're really not that serious about moving out yet and I can understand your
parents trepidation.

Regardless how ready you really are, you're an adult, you can leave when you want. Nothing is stopping you.
Good luck.
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23 / M
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Posted 5/6/17 , edited 5/6/17
If you feel you need permission to do something then you aren't an adult.
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34 / M / CHICAGO
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Posted 5/6/17
Perfect time to build a savings. save as much as you can. something past 5k would feel safe but if you can save higher then do so. when you on your own. and you get sick or hit with unexpected bills, those saving help. otherwise you gotta start asking for money when you suppose to be out on the world alone.
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53 / M / In
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Posted 5/6/17
Join the Army and never look back they will either respect you or disown you either way your better off
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37 / M / US
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Posted 5/6/17
As long as you live with your parents they will always consider you their kid. They probably think they are doing you a favor, and probably are, but if you don't like it then move out. I'll be telling my kid this same thing in a couple of years, I'm going to give her an itemized list of her expenses so she can see what its actually costing. Personally I hope she moves out after she graduates from high school, but that's becoming less common it seams.

I don't know where you live but where I am 700 bucks a month is a steal. Rent here is 400 bucks starting (unless you want to live in the ghetto), car insurance is around 100, food probably run you 200+ a month, utilities another 150-200, owning a car costs gas and maintenance, when you live on your own things just come up so plan on another 100 a month you should be saving minimum in case the unexpected comes up.

So in my area you would need to plan on 1000-1200 a month, and I'm in an affordable Midwestern US city. Roommates can help but my personal experience with that was hit or miss. The ones I liked usually couldn't pay their share, the ones that paid couldn't keep the place in any semblance of clean, expect to loose some friends if you live with them. If you bring home 2k after taxes in my area you could get along with out a roommate, you would just need to watch your budget closely 800 extra dollars goes fast if you don't keep on top of it.
Posted 5/6/17
Are you a only child curious? some parents cling to sending a child off..

you need to build up a nest egg depending on where you live keep your credit good, that was my mistake i ran my credit up
from college many do. Don't let your parents control you just make sure your ready to move.
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Posted 5/6/17

uncletim wrote:

Join the Army and never look back they will either respect you or disown you either way your better off


This is good advice. There are plenty of non-combat MOS's for women. I used my GI bill to get an engineering degree and have plenty of extra money to put my parents in a horrible nursing home.
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34 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 5/6/17

bigd0311 wrote:


uncletim wrote:

Join the Army and never look back they will either respect you or disown you either way your better off


This is good advice. There are plenty of non-combat MOS's for women. I used my GI bill to get an engineering degree and have plenty of extra money to put my parents in a horrible nursing home .


ROLF.
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39 / M
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Posted 5/6/17
Like others have said, start making a list of all your expected expenses and calculate out what it will take to move out. Make sure to include the move in costs, such as first and second months rent and security deposit. Other move-in expenses include supplies (cleaning, dishes, bathroom, personal, etc.), utility deposit costs, renter's insurance, and moving expenses (such as moving the furniture, or extra furniture you parents aren't providing). After considering all move-in costs, you should have at least an additional $1000 in the bank for an emergency fund, if not more.

On-going costs to consider:
*Rent - Identify costs in your area
*Utilities - Typically gas, and electric. If you rent a house, you typically also need to cover water, sewer, and garbage pick-up. If you rent an apartment, you typically need to cover a shared water/sewer cost.
*Food - Depends on whether you cook or eat out, and how frugal you are with this. Minimum is probably $100, if cooking.
*Insurance - On-going renter's insurance. If you have a car, then insurance for that. If your employer doesn't carry medical, then that as well.
*Transportation - If you have a car, then gas, maintenance, and payments (if there's a loan). If not, then you would need to consider mass transportation routes and costs.
*Miscellaneous - Make sure you have plenty of room for savings, supplies, and other expenses.

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23 / F
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Posted 5/6/17
I pay 450 for rent I only get 475 a month lol

as for the other ik how u feel but for me its a weird situation, I used to have anger issues as a kid and my aunt and grandma still think im in that state of being/mind of uncontrol, tho im not anymore, mind u im 23 in 2months
but it goes beyond them just thinking im young and angry and irresponsible, for instance I told my grandma tnat I want a knife for self defense, she respond to that with " you will take it out on your baby!!" like wtf no, I would never hurt a child plus that's insane and attacking my very character
ive also gotten "you are too young to marry/have a child, not responsible enough/ what will your husband do with you" im like hopefully a husband will love me for me? people have married younger than I in your days??
doesn't help my aunt has also said "i still sometimes think of you as that little 3 year old girl"
why cant they see how I am now, who I am now??
oh yea ive also been told ill kill my mother and child if I get a knife lol its fuckign insanity, that is beyond demeaning and insulting


but because they thinkthis way they also think im not "responsible " to do normal shit in life like have a damn husband and family
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26 / M / Leanbox, Gameindu...
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Posted 5/6/17 , edited 5/6/17

jcsteinmeyer wrote:

Being 24 I understand that I don't have all the knowledge of the world, but why is it every time you try to leave the nest they always have to discourage you. At least in my case they always do with comments such as "You don't know what the true cost of living on your own is don't put yourself through unnecessary troubles." Though the cost of living with my parents is already 500 a month and if I choose to stay living with my parents I must pay 700. I already pay for my own education, car, insurance, and other miscellaneous bills. Don't see how it doesn't get much more real world then that. Sorry a little venting but I really wanted to know the opinions of others or if I just had my own head stuck up my ass.


I hate to say it but $700 is still cheaper if it includes rent+food than what things cost in the "real world" unless you live in an economically depressed area or in the middle of nowhere. Hell in my area a single bedroom apartment for less than $1300/month is a good deal

I couldn't care less what my parents acknowledge me as. I'm banking like 70-80% of my income living it up on the cheap at the home and going to make a big fat down payment on my own house in 2-3 years. I have both my ugrad and grad education paid off in full all ready. Many of the suckers bragging about their independence and breaking them off on me will still be broke in 10 years so I take my satisfaction in that.
Honestly it depends on the cost of living in your area. Pretty much nobody under 30 who isn't married where I live has their own place because there is basically nothing affordable unless they are rich enough to be gifted a place. Yeah my parents try to talk me out of moving out for the same reasons for 3 reasons: 1 they like the rent I pay, 2 I babysit my kid brothers for free, and 3 they don't want me to hustle working 2 full time jobs trying to make ends meet like they did in their 20s, so in my case I am actually in agreement.

Anyhow, stop caring what others think and live your own life whatever way makes you feel happiest. Plus, if you have financial or personal goals that will be easier to achieve living at home and saving up money make that the focus of your efforts, just my 2 cents.

Summary: Sometimes putting up with this crap is well worth it if you can maximize your savings rate that way, especially if you are out of the house doing stuff all day anyway.

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48 / M / Auburn, Washington
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Posted 5/6/17

jcsteinmeyer wrote:

Sorry a little venting but I really wanted to know the opinions of others or if I just had my own head stuck up my ass.


I'm 47 and my parents still don't treat me like an adult.

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