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Post Reply When you are 24 years old and your parents still refuse to acknowledge you as an adult
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Posted 5/6/17 , edited 5/6/17
This is the same foundation of spiritual dilemmas that has masses worsening everything.

Ever heard of spiritual addiction? Well if you look into mythology well enough, believe all of it to be true just not true without your own ability to interpret what happened, then you'll eventually come across warnings about addiction to other individuals.

Humanity fosters this addiction in many ways, parenting is one of them. Addiction between individuals happens whenever any singular individual chooses to rely on another for guidance, thus involving another. Doing so stops the progress of any individual because they are choosing to rely on another, effectively stagnating development.

Do this long enough and you reset all spiritual knowledge, which means its still there we just told ourselves otherwise long enough to create this illusion... the baby. That's what happened to all of us. Situations with parents holding onto you are the result of this that is still occurring. The benefits remain hidden until one overcomes addiction for good.

Why does this happen? Hypnosis effects are a big part of this. Utilizing words like parent and child comes with hypnotizing yourself in the way you believe. In many cases, denoting another individuals differently then you also encourages a delusional effect of hierarchy. Any discussion involved with a hierarchy includes permissions. Any individuals telling you what they permit of you have chosen to sacrifice themselves to a human version of death, which is only achievable after generations upon generations of fostering inter-personal addiction. This doesn't mean you have to do the same. Your choices have to be your own to remain immune from addiction.

The Celestine Prophecy book, although rather biased and incomplete, discusses inter-personal addiction as being the biggest issue anyone has to avoid. I, on the other hand, recognize that its occurring and has already grown to be way past the stuff mentioned in that book. So I find that addiction is an aspect of harnessing effects like that which we experience using drugs to make more out of everything.

All in all, everything is perfectly the way meant to be but one has to beware of human negligence to avoid human misery. In this case I use human to denote the masses that are so affected by sacrifice that they speak openly attempting to convince others to sacrifice for them, often resulting in a human version of death and a future generation still seeking awareness of what's happening.

Only thing one can do is continue being yourself and build your awareness enough to account for all demands in a way that nullifies everything addictive. Make your own choices no matter what others attempt to convince you of.
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Posted 5/6/17

jcsteinmeyer wrote:

Being 24 I understand that I don't have all the knowledge of the world, but why is it every time you try to leave the nest they always have to discourage you. At least in my case they always do with comments such as "You don't know what the true cost of living on your own is don't put yourself through unnecessary troubles." Though the cost of living with my parents is already 500 a month and if I choose to stay living with my parents I must pay 700. I already pay for my own education, car, insurance, and other miscellaneous bills. Don't see how it doesn't get much more real world then that. Sorry a little venting but I really wanted to know the opinions of others or if I just had my own head stuck up my ass.


Then just leave

What are they gonna do, chain you to the wall?
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35 / M / SoFlo
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Posted 5/6/17
I moved out at 18 and never looked back. So glad I did. I love them but I can't stand my parents.
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18 / M / Valhalla
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Posted 5/6/17 , edited 5/6/17
Even though I'm 17,I have already moved out, met a girl and started a family.Here's a picture we took the other day:


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Posted 5/6/17
On one hand, the idea adulthood is so delayed compared to our ancestors is sad.

But on the other hand we have details that the part of the brain that handles 'consequences' doesn't finish baking until age 25.

Also paying 700 is virtually nothing. if you move to a bad neighborhood, then you have to pick up your own insurance in a few years.

Really it all comes down to how good your employment is. If you're on a low wage job, best to stay home and keep looking. If you're making 40k+ already, yeah, moving out should be fine. That number might depend on your region. Up here in Massachusetts I'd consider less than 40k to be promising hard times and despair. Might be lower elsewhere.
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Posted 5/6/17
I can completely relate to this, I am 17, turning 18 in less than three months. I have my own form of income ( $850 - $1200 a month) I pay for my own hospital visits, own a bank account, vehicle, etc. Currently I am preparing to move out of state to attend a college for my career choice, and I know very well I could handle my own in a completely new environment.

The problem is: My mother has been a single mother most of her life ( I'm biologically her granddaughter) and lately she's been treating me like utter trash. To keep it simple she's treating me like I am 9, not 17. Telling me " I am a kid and I won't make it very far." etc.
Now I am starting to lose confidence because of her behavior and words.

All I want to do is provide myself a future and I am beginning to feel deprived from it.
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Posted 5/6/17

kay7229 wrote:

I can completely relate to this, I am 17, turning 18 in less than three months. I have my own form of income ( $850 - $1200 a month) I pay for my own hospital visits, own a bank account, vehicle, etc. Currently I am preparing to move out of state to attend a college for my career choice, and I know very well I could handle my own in a completely new environment.

The problem is: My mother has been a single mother most of her life ( I'm biologically her granddaughter) and lately she's been treating me like utter trash. To keep it simple she's treating me like I am 9, not 17. Telling me " I am a kid and I won't make it very far." etc.
Now I am starting to lose confidence because of her behavior and words.

All I want to do is provide myself a future and I am beginning to feel deprived from it.


I would say for you it is different. Look at today society and how things are going she will be worried about you in that sense. You know what you are doing and have a good sense. Best bet is continue your path and make sure she knows you are doing well.
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Posted 5/6/17

jcsteinmeyer wrote:

Being 24 I understand that I don't have all the knowledge of the world, but why is it every time you try to leave the nest they always have to discourage you. At least in my case they always do with comments such as "You don't know what the true cost of living on your own is don't put yourself through unnecessary troubles." Though the cost of living with my parents is already 500 a month and if I choose to stay living with my parents I must pay 700. I already pay for my own education, car, insurance, and other miscellaneous bills. Don't see how it doesn't get much more real world then that. Sorry a little venting but I really wanted to know the opinions of others or if I just had my own head stuck up my ass.


It looks like your parents are making you feel unsure about your decision, maybe because they are telling you things you think are truth or you believe are going to happen, so you end losing your confidence.

So what you need here is to regain your confidence, and one way of doing that is to make a plan, one that details all the money you think you are going to need, given that this exercise will give you a closer look to how much independence costs.

However, independence is not only about the money, it is also about answering the question "Can I take care of myself on my own?", and by that I mean, do I need other kinds of support from my parents?, like for example, when I'm sad who lifts me up?.

And for this and other reasons you can think of, I'm gonna tell you this: If the reward is worth it, then take the risk.



I'm telling you this from my personal experience, due to I moved out from parents' almost 3 years ago, when I was still 24. By that time I lived in a small town, which I hated it, because nothing happens there, like ever. Then I decided that it was time to get out of there and move out to the capital, but the problem was that I didn't have to much money and no job there.

So I was against the wall, because If I stayed there I would have ended killing myself, therefore, it was a matter of choice between taking a huge risk or dying, and because I'm not going to die without fighting, f*ck no!, I took the risk.

And now, here I am, living in the capital with a well paid steady job, even though there is a lot of room for improvement (I don't own a place yet, I'm renting, among other things), I'm happier than I was before, and I think that moving out was one of the best decisions in my life, it was worth it.
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Posted 5/6/17
Hell I wasn't set as you are at that age. I'm still not. However, my parents do want me to move on and get on with life. In your case seems to me your parents (as others have pointed out) are using you for your income and they don't want to lose it. However, I would say if you got friends in the area. If they got the space move in with them and then save. Your parents are just going to take more money out of you.
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Posted 5/6/17 , edited 5/6/17
if you are 18+ and have a steady income with at least 6 months of income in the bank + understand the cost of living on your own

rent/mortgage, insurance (car, health,rental/house,) hoa?, food, utilities, maintenance costs etc..

then what's stopping you ?

so just because someone is saying you are not ready.. it will stop you from doing something you think you are well ready for ?

personally.. i think it's more of the the self esteem issue than your parents..


most americans don't have any saving at all.. it's recommended that you have enough money for AT LEAST 6 months of unemployment ..

so just because you have a job and paying your bills... can you predict unemployment ? paycheck by paycheck is the worst type of living

the question would be is if you have any money readily available for when you are unemployed to continue to pay for all those expenses? .. 6 months is the minimum but more is better

it would be embarrassing to move back in with your parents again after moving out.... so i would say to have enough of a financial cushion before taking the leap..

if you don't have at least 6 months worth of income available in the bank right now.. then forget about moving out

since most places will require deposits when you rent..

my place? i require 3 months worth of rent for deposit .. in japan i heard they require 6 months worth !

it works really well.. especially when you have 3-6 months worth of rent from them as collateral

it will encourage the tenants to take good care of your place when they live there until they are moving out.. if they want their deposits back..
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26 / F / In the Mountains
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Posted 5/6/17
Quit whining....When I was your age I was caring a M16 and a 9mm and leading troops in combat in a freaking God awful place. I had completed the hardest combat schools that our country had to offer. I'd already killed a lots of bad guys and defended quit a bit of the weak. Have the strength to leave on your own and go do something you can be proud of! So go cut your power beard take off your pink shirt and quit watching others do awesome and amazing things...and go do it yourself! When you come back a hero I'm guessing no one will treat you like a kid...

Have a nice day!
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33 / F / Somewhere...
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Posted 5/6/17
I'm 33, married, have a ten year old kid, a full time career and my parents still question me from time to time. And you know what? I listen, but ultimately whatever decisions I (or me and my husband) make are my own, and it doesn't get to me anymore. Most of the time I just laugh now and move on. Most likely you'll reach that point too. Go out, do your thing, make mistakes, get through them and fix what you can. That's what being an adult is about.
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34 / F / In a van down by...
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Posted 5/6/17

jcsteinmeyer wrote:

Being 24 I understand that I don't have all the knowledge of the world, but why is it every time you try to leave the nest they always have to discourage you. At least in my case they always do with comments such as "You don't know what the true cost of living on your own is don't put yourself through unnecessary troubles." Though the cost of living with my parents is already 500 a month and if I choose to stay living with my parents I must pay 700. I already pay for my own education, car, insurance, and other miscellaneous bills. Don't see how it doesn't get much more real world then that. Sorry a little venting but I really wanted to know the opinions of others or if I just had my own head stuck up my ass.


You're going to pay rent no matter what.

But as long as you're paying for your own things, I don't see why your parents are commenting like that...
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Posted 5/6/17
So put the real numbers together. Research rent, utilities, travel expenses using actual properties in the area you're interested in.

Research.

Maybe they're right, maybe they're not.
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Posted 5/6/17
If you can afford to move out, and you want to move out - then you should move out.
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