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Post Reply Wife gains 65 pounds, husband no longer attracted to her.
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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 5/27/17 , edited 5/27/17
Well, first of all, he is taking boner pills seemingly of his own consent, so at least he is trying to make this work. I think there has to be a certain level of coercion, usually violent and forceful, for this to be rape. I do not consider it rape in either case of gender reversal, and she is certainly well within her legal right to express anger (Explode can be indicative of various levels)

I do not know. She does seem selfish ( No, she is beyond sexually entitled for a man who has kept his appearance up), but this post is not necessarily indicative of rape. Trying to point out usage of a double standard among forumers when it comes to rape where it may not exist because we care to acknowledge of our lack of insight into their lives is quite frankly, dumb.

Let's not confuse roofies with Viagra. Drugged in these cases mean more than popping Advil, but severe impairment, which is not the usual effect of Viagra it appears. Arousal is not consent necessarily, but that is besides the point.

That being said, I think asking for sex should not be outside of a man's jurisdiction as well. Most relationships like this seem to need sexual attraction, and the culmination of such. People are not entitled to have sex with anyone, even their spouse, nor should it be forced; but it seems foolhardy to forbade asking for either gender. Men need sex, women need sex, let us fuck.

Speaking of which, since it is my birthday in 3 days....
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34 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 5/27/17
as a guy who married a fat woman, yeah, ineede lots of porn before hitting the sheets sometime.
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23 / M / United States
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Posted 5/27/17 , edited 5/27/17

Ryulightorb wrote:

If you get rich then women will only want you for your money which is just as bad as dating a women who wouldn't date you if you were fat in my books people who want something out of you or will only love you if you look attractive are not worth dating in my books.


Hey, I never said it was preferable. Only that it's another option if you want to continue being a slob and keep complaining about how women are closed minded A holes that only care about looks.


Anyone who would date me if i were skinny but not if i were super obese to the point i was super ugly is someone i personally would not be interested in dating as it goes to show how little their care for me as a person would be.


You sure it's not the other way around? The way I see it, you don't care enough about yourself if you've gotten to that point in your life. So why should they care about you as a person if you can't even do the same for yourself?


and yeah there always is but there is always reasons people find it hard depression can make it very hard i know that for a fact im losing weight i gained (went from being super skinny to overweight due to bullying in school) depression and bullying can lead someone to resorting to eating to cope to avoid being suicidal which is solveable but there are sometimes valid reasons people put that weight on in the first place or struggle with it but with enough effort losing it is 100% possible in 99% of cases.


Well, they need to make every bit of effort on getting out of it then. I know plenty of people who have suffered from long term depression and not once has it made them eat themselves into a mess. There's always different factors that come into your lifestyle other than just blaming it on being depressed and getting bullied (not denouncing your reasons of course). How about the ones who are lazy and just don't want to work? The ones who don't want to learn how to cook so they eat takeout everyday. The ones who go out and buy frozen dinners and the like all because it's just "simpler". At the end of the day, you're in control of your own actions and if you didn't try and seek help before it got that way, that's sort of on you. I wish you luck on losing that weight, you can definitely achieve it.
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Posted 5/27/17 , edited 5/27/17
If it's a problem they need to communicate and work it out. If they can't make it work they should separate. I'm not in a position to tell these people what is right and wrong for them. For some people their partner drastically changing appearance might be a deal breaker. Other people probably think that's horribly shallow. I don't judge either way.
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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 5/27/17 , edited 5/27/17
When it comes to double standards, this discussion should be less rape categorization, and more of post marriage appearances, and the expectations between men and women to keep appearances up. In this case, asking someone to be their dating best while you drop everything on the belief that since you are already in marriage, there is no going back, is ultimately hypocritical. In any case, if your husband is keeping the weight off, I would not shame him for his lack of sexual attraction to you. The dick wants what the dick wants, although again, this is not necessarily consensual, and equally applies to women. I think this is would be foolish entitle on the woman's part, and one of those unsaid rules for relationships. Romantic relationships have no room for selfishness of this quantity. It is give, then take, and seemingly, your husband is doing a hell of a lot of giving when you chastise his taking, which I feel is not only warranted, but drenched in a sort of honesty that seems respectable, given the woman's own post.

In any case, the man and woman should try to work it out, though I think a discussion is needed between them to ensure the compromise of both their wants and needs.
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47 / M / Auburn, Washington
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Posted 5/27/17

Rujikin wrote:

If your significant other gained 60-100 lbs would you start to find them unattractive/less attractive? Would you consider leaving them if they got fat enough?


People don't just get fat in a vacuum. If you get fat, either you have an endocrine disorder, or your diet and exercise habits have changed. Either way, this is going to affect your behaviour and your mood. I don't really care how much someone weighs, but if we used to go out and do stuff and now you're sitting around the house eating ice cream and watching television all day, you're not just gaining weight... you're also no fun.

Nobody really likes to talk about it, but it's an absolute fact that some people pretend to be someone they're not until they get married. It's not strictly a male or female thing; guys will often be fun and interesting only until they lock down a consistent source of booty, and then they don't want to do anything anymore. Similarly, a lot of women only do their hair and makeup to get a guy, and once they have one they don't see the point anymore. Either way, you end up in a relationship with someone who turns out not to be that appealing.


Is drugging your significant other into finding you attractive even moral?


They're just boner pills. It's not to make him think she's attractive, they just make his dick hard. And he's taking them himself, she's not slipping them to him in his drink.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 5/27/17

Lemontitties wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

If you get rich then women will only want you for your money which is just as bad as dating a women who wouldn't date you if you were fat in my books people who want something out of you or will only love you if you look attractive are not worth dating in my books.


Hey, I never said it was preferable. Only that it's another option if you want to continue being a slob and keep complaining about how women are closed minded A holes that only care about looks.


Anyone who would date me if i were skinny but not if i were super obese to the point i was super ugly is someone i personally would not be interested in dating as it goes to show how little their care for me as a person would be.


You sure it's not the other way around? The way I see it, you don't care enough about yourself if you've gotten to that point in your life. So why should they care about you as a person if you can't even do the same for yourself?


and yeah there always is but there is always reasons people find it hard depression can make it very hard i know that for a fact im losing weight i gained (went from being super skinny to overweight due to bullying in school) depression and bullying can lead someone to resorting to eating to cope to avoid being suicidal which is solveable but there are sometimes valid reasons people put that weight on in the first place or struggle with it but with enough effort losing it is 100% possible in 99% of cases.


Well, they need to make every bit of effort on getting out of it then. I know plenty of people who have suffered from long term depression and not once has it made them eat themselves into a mess. There's always different factors that come into your lifestyle other than just blaming it on being depressed and getting bullied (not denouncing your reasons of course). How about the ones who are lazy and just don't want to work? The ones who don't want to learn how to cook so they eat takeout everyday. The ones who go out and buy frozen dinners and the like all because it's just "simpler". At the end of the day, you're in control of your own actions and if you didn't try and seek help before it got that way, that's sort of on you. I wish you luck on losing that weight, you can definitely achieve it.



1. Yeah that's true.

2. Because that's not what love is love is about caring about another person despite their flaws and if they don't take care of themselves etc if they don't love you then there not worth being with not everyone who is overweight doesn't care about themselves alot of people do but still struggle with it.

3. Well i can tell you i ate myself into gaining 70kg because i had well no even now my only coping method with stress is eating (mostly since anything else i can do to help costs money or isn't available to do where i live so i know i actually ate myself due to stress from bullying and depression into being overweight.

The people who are lazy need to honestly just stop being lazy get off your feet and walk i say and for cooking well i can understand it i cook like once in a blue moon i buy all my food from the shop because it's simpler and less of a hassle i know how to cook and do when i'm up to it but in my case i don't let it impact my health much i make the best choices possible but i can understand why some people do it since cooking is boring and annoying but you shouldn't gain weight from eating meals bought from the store unless you are over-eating.

I must say i eat takeout 5 times a week and right now im losing 1kg a week that being said my idea of takeaway is actually pretty healthy (an pricy) vegetables rice and a tiny bit of meat but in general takeaway should be something you rarely have i only have it due to the fact that for 5 days a week around lunch till 5pm i'm busy out in town meaning its either starve or buy something to eat.

But i definitely agree with you you should always strive to better yourself and thanks i have lost 4kg in the last 4 weeks im nearly back to where i was before i had a rash of suicidal experiences due to a abusive relationship (not fun for mental health)
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53 / M / Bay Area
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Posted 5/27/17 , edited 5/29/17
Dump the guy what if you decide to have kids? Women gain weight during and after bearing children the husband might bail fuck that
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30 / M / Atlanta, GA, USA
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Posted 5/27/17
Surely that story was written by a troll to see who's dumb enough to take the woman's side? There's no reason to tolerate her with that hedonistic attitude, unless she has done something to earn the pampering like mothering five of his kids.

Three deserts a week considered a strict rule that's making her miserable? Yells at her spouse for not screwing her daily? A shameful fatso & hussy. Surely not a real story!
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41 / M / Where the heart is
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Posted 5/27/17
I tend to think she was lying to herself that she needed to be thin, then lied to him by selling him a complete package. They marry then the wrapping comes off of the thin and miserable to happy and heavy. Rhetorical questions. Did she talk to him first about how she felt about her lower weight, before gaining all of it? Did she trust that she could make a decision to gain weight without discussing it first and he have no feelings about it?

Kinda sounds like a lose/lose on his part.

He loses because if she keeps the weight off, but is miserable he's being selfish. He also loses if she gains weight is happy, but disappointed that he just embrace the gain without question (which he kinda did, until confronted)
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Posted 5/27/17
If it was healthy weight gain then the husband is in the wrong, but 65 lbs. sounds is a lot to gain so she is probably overweight. I just googled HAES to find out what it is so I'm not really an expert on that subject, but my impression from my search is that HAES sounds like a bunch of bullshit about how every size is beautiful. No, not every size is beautiful. Most people in western cultures do not find obesity attractive. Being overweight should not be celebrated.

It would be a blow to anyone's self confidence if their spouse told them they didn't find them physically attractive anymore, but it would be worse he if kept lying about it. Better to get it out in the open and just be honest about the problem. Her old rule book sounds a bit strict, but I think she should ditch HAES and pursue some sort of diet/exercise routine and get back into shape.
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24 / M / Beyond The Wall
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Posted 5/27/17
Im reminded of a SJW video about our unlearning our preferences.
Posted 5/27/17
I would still love my significant other through weight gain but 65 pounds is a lot and I'd be more worried for their health than for my attraction to them. I would love my boyfriend through weight gain though if it got to be a large amount in a small time, then I would encourage him to seek help or reevaluate what he was eating. Gaining that much weight isn't healthy and I would want to help him. I wouldn't consider permanently leaving him if he got too fat but I would give them space to seek help without my guidance if the issue got unhealthy.
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Hoosierville
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Posted 5/27/17
Wow quite a wide range of opinions on here about a political issue without any major internet fights. This has got to be a record.
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27 / M / Definitely not EU
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Posted 5/27/17
Girl becomes fat and unattractive, somehow guys fault lol.
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