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Post Reply Is it better to have an idealistic or a realistic relationship?
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21 / F
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Posted 6/1/17
Depends on what you think is ideal ^.^

"Ideal" can easily be unhealthy, if you're not well acquainted with this sort of thing.
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23 / M / Chicago IL
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Posted 6/1/17
For me.
30% Idealist - Just cause their nice to have does not mean that I wanna go very far. And by very far, is to the point that I actually marry someone who isn't real.

70% Realist - Better than Idealist. Makes things less weirder than going on an actual date with my top favorite characters I love that happens to be not real. With a real partner, I wanna make her feel that she's not alone and I'll always be by her side. And always willing to make her smile even if I don't have much options left. Shows how much I love that person. Although, I might not be as flirty, does not mean that I'm not ok with having a significant other in my life.
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24 / M / All Over
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Posted 6/1/17
My personal opinion I think people settle for what they have in front of them instead of actually pursuing the person who they want to spend the rest of their life with.

So i guess with that I would say idealistic because then you should get the "happiness" that relationships bring you and all the other perks.
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35 / Pacific North West
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Posted 6/2/17
I must have really low expectations... I am having trouble figuring out the difference between the two is.
Humms 
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25 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 6/2/17
Idealistic. This way you work on improving yourself to the fullest in order to reach those expectations, instead of limiting yourself to low level experiences.

I will not settle for less, and I will not accept anything but the best; therfore I am the best.
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24 / M / Somewhere Drinking
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Posted 6/2/17
Its a little bit of both being idealistic means you have goals, visions and expectations and that's not a terrible aspect if done in moderation. While being a realistic helps to ground you in reality i often find that a realist tends to be too rigid.
qwueri 
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31 / M
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Posted 6/2/17
It's fine to have expectations and dreams, but you gotta be ready for the lumps, bumps, and friction that comes with a relationship. "Happily ever after" is usually just the beginning of a relationship.
Posted 6/2/17
I am in a real relationship
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34 / M
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Posted 6/2/17 , edited 6/2/17
This is actually a paradox I once discussed in a business management course. Not that that means we were talking about economic models of sex, but because of the relationship between the Ideal and reality.

Basically the paradox is given the word S M A R T. In that any goal or plan should benefit from thinking about it as specific, measurable, achievable, and time bounded. That means that simply you should be careful to recognize that ideals are better ideals which can be defined and arranged so that they are actually achievable.

The reason being that what actually obtains is more important an ideal than what is impossible. Getting philosophical it means that what exists is better than something which would always be non-existant. In other words, to not fall into the happy naive trap where one cannot recognize bullshit. Its absurd to be working on making triangles into four sided objects which are squares. Its absurd to start projects without proper financing, or without being careful to manage personnel characteristics. Some people will never be able to do certain jobs. You cannot be about "extracting sunlight from cucumbers" to borrow from Jonathan Swift.

The thing with ideals and reality are that what exists in reality is always going to be a better ideal than what cannot exist. So when we're thinking about ideals and reality we're not necessarily thinking about opposites. Ideals are better grounded in reality. They aren't really opposing concepts, like saying reality and non-reality. For example the same way we speak about hot and cold as opposite temperatures.

What is Ideal is what is obtainable in reality, not that which cannot be obtained by definition. It is therefore better as an ideal if it is based in reality not in an unreality.

So the way the OP formulated the question is misleading, I think. What he should have thought of was whether your ideals about relationships were based in reality or not, or whether they are ideal verses unreal.

Those are two terms which are not mutually exclusive.

[edit] Also the professor was really adamant about getting the hell out of just thinking about doing crap and "processes" and into real work
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48 / M / Auburn, Washington
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Posted 6/2/17
Idealistic is better at first, but it will deteriorate and fall apart when reality sets in.

However, IF you can spot the deterioration and GTFO before it falls apart, AND rapidly get yourself into another idealistic relationship... it doesn't matter.

Pro tip: college freshmen
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Simulacrum
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Posted 6/2/17 , edited 6/2/17
realistic. no question.

The relationship we have with someone is like the relationship we have with life. It's just one giant mirror teaching us about ourselves. how we react to challenges/difficulties will shine light on how we can grow as a person.
Posted 6/2/17
I'd want idealistic to become realistic.
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36 / M
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Posted 6/2/17


Going back on what I said earlier, it's kinda like this: There's women who are great, but I'm just not attracted to.... Realistic, sure, but not happening.

Then there's women I find myself insanely attracted to but would be sooooooooooooooooo bad for me... Idealistic, but certainly not realistic.

Both are completely possible to have, but neither are that perfect mix.
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Posted 6/2/17
if you are a man in a western country (united states specifically) none at all.

relationships and what they can mean to a man in america now fails the cost benefit analysis.
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22 / MN
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Posted 6/2/17
What stars said
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