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Post Reply Is it better to have an idealistic or a realistic relationship?
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Argentina
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Posted 6/2/17
Realistic. To me an idealistc relationship is something that does not exist. Everyone has standards but if they are too high, you're decreasing your odds of finding a partner. Although, personally, it doesn't matter to me becasue I'm not insterested in relationships.
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Posted 6/2/17
It is better to have a relationship where you both get what you want/need out of it.
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69 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 6/3/17
Idealistic = 2D > 3D; you can read many relationship self-help books and/or attend group counseling sessions and watch where that line of thinking will lead you.

Realistic........honesty with oneself is a plus here. It will lead to longevity versus anxiety.
anfex 
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27 / M
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Posted 6/4/17
Summary

We really don't have other option than realistic, because we are not perfect, therefore, ideal (idealistic) is not an option. An example support that argument, could be the following: one of the characteristics that for me will make a relationship ideal (idealistic), is that my partner will never get angry, and as anyone can easily deduce, this is not going to be accomplish, because it is nearly impossible for a person to not get angry ever. And although this is true, the characteristics that make a relationship ideal, can be still used as a base to form realistic conception of a relationship.

Slight difference between Idealistic and Ideal

The words idealistic and ideal are used in a slightly different manner. Here is an example of that: ideal partner is different from idealistic partner, because the first one refers to the partner that has the characteristics that we want, while the second one refers to an idealist partner, or in other words, a partner who pursues high or noble principles.

So, based on the previous clarification, let's do the same with the word relationship: ideal relationship is the one that has the characteristics that we want, while idealistic relationship is the one that pursues high or noble principles?. As it is visible, it can be confusing to apply the word Idealistic to an abstract concept, because it is mostly used for people, but, base on the context, I think I can use the word ideal instead, so that I will have the phrase "ideal relationship".

Why ideal characteristics can be still used

Although in the first section I chose a realistic relationship over ideal (idealistic), I want to expand the argument that the characteristics that make a relationship ideal, can be still used as a base to form realistic conception of a relationship.

This is because, the mentioned characteristics will improve ourselves, even after adding realism to them. An example to support that is the following: for me, it would be ideal if my partner never gets angry, but because it has to be realistic, then we have this, for me it will be great if my partner doesn't get angry too often. Which is an improvement from what it was before (she used to drag me across the floor :D).

Of course, this is based on my that idea that everyone should improve themselves, and that the phrase "He or she should love me for what I am" is not an impediment for personal development.
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27 / F / TX
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Posted 6/5/17
Realistic.

If you start a relationship with idealistic dreams, the second the other person starts showing their more human side (their flawed side, where their quirks and pet peeves and habits show up) chances are you will start getting annoyed FAST. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule but for the most part if it starts as an idealistic relationship it will at some point meet its own end.
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F / Antique bookshop
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Posted 6/5/17
but a realistic relationship is the most ideal one
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28 / F / SC
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Posted 6/5/17
harem is the answer

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34 / M
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Posted 6/6/17
Better to have an idealistic relationship because unless both parties want to be better than who they are according to a standard of ideals its never going to last beyond hello and, you've been in the hospital/deployed/addiction too long.

Throw that one in the hopper. Don't marry a person who simply says what they want because they don't believe in the ideal of honesty.
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