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Post Reply What's the funniest thing your teacher ever said?
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16 / M / New York City,New...
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Posted 6/9/17 , edited 6/9/17
I know this is kind of random but I just finished my sophomore year in high school and currently taking regents exams and I was in a study group earlier today and we took a break and started talking and joking around about the year and one thing that set us all off laughing was when our teacher said casually and the most serious way was when he said " I'll keep you guys so late that you'll be early to tomorrow's class" I don't know why but it was the most hilarious thing I ever heard XD and I'm even laughing typing this post
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17 / M
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Posted 6/9/17 , edited 6/9/17
"You know what the biggest baby in the animal kingdom is? You"

Fat joke like a boss. Kind of hurt my feelibgs but hes super fat so its ok
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19 / M
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Posted 6/9/17
Looked at my female class mate and he (history teacher) said,"I'm going to dick her." then proceeded to laugh hysterically while female class mate broke out in laughter and smiled at him.
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22 / M / Somewhere to my l...
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Posted 6/10/17 , edited 6/10/17
Professor: "You ever use one password for all of your accounts?"
*half the class nods*
Professor: "You're screwed"
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30 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 6/10/17
I remember back in High School senior year our Physics teacher flirted with me openly in front of the class. She was good looking and it was a shame I was already going out with Sophie cause I would have given it serious consideration otherwise . But the way it played it out was funny.

Me" Shouldn't you be teaching us serfs ?"

Teacher. " You do realise only you, your girlfriend , and Shinji over there are actually passing right?"

Shinji" Yes ma'am that is true but we have to sell the illusion to the school board and society in general that we actually care about the brain dead slobs that are our fellow classmates. Otherwise we'd have anarchy , like happy people anarchy . Happy people, think about it."

Teacher " You I like Shinji, why can't you be as good looking as Sophie's boy toy."

Shinji " Sorry ma'am when they were handing out good looks and brains I choose brains and the boy toy took looks."

Cue class wide laughter.

Teacher " Alright I am good mood now, automatic 100% on your next assignments."

Cue class wide cheering.
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26 / F
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Posted 6/10/17
"Remember, you can always retake a class, but you can never retake a party"
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19 / F
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Posted 6/11/17
"Please don't fail this class, I don't want to see your faces next semester"

we were like LOOL ok damnnn sorryy
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15 / M / Somewhere
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Posted 6/11/17
1st week in to secondary school and our Spanish teacher climbs on to a table and starts shouting random things!
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20 / M / Temple of Yaoiism
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Posted 6/11/17
My physics teacher called professional football "millionaires playing catch."
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22 / M
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Posted 6/11/17
"Du skriver som en ørn, Esben!"

It's the funniest thing I've heard to this day.
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42 / M / the Netherlands
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Posted 6/11/17
My body is too white, and i was walking without shirt, the teacher say his eyes are hurting
Ejanss 
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Posted 6/11/17 , edited 6/11/17
If you're smart, you don't crack up laughing in high-school class. The rest of your hallway years will be even more hell, and you'll never live it down.

But in our social-studies class, a big pull-down world map from the CRAM educational-supply company was hanging over the blackboard every day--
And when we got to studying the US before WWII, the teacher explained about the Isolationist movement, as the US tried to plug its ears about what was happening in England and Europe during the late-30's rise of Italy and Germany:
"These were the years we basically told the rest of the world to go....(whaps the answer on the map with a pointer)."
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F / Antique bookshop
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Posted 6/12/17
You must be a very important textbook passage, because seeing you is the highlight of my day.
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23 / M / Texas
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Posted 6/19/17
My painting professor was critiquing our self portraits and he told one student that his portrait had more chins than a Chinese phone book and that he should know because he is Chinese.
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28 / F / Oklahoma
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Posted 6/19/17
My music history professor from this last year was very humorous. I suppose you have to be when you teach a class like that where the majority of students who go through it just don't care. =(

Anyway, as for the funniest thing he said or did. I remember around the election we were covering the late middle ages and he went over this French book of poetry and music from the time which was about a donkey character who rose up through the government who was very corrupt and sinful. The government and church leaders bowing down to him, showing how corrupt and sinful they were. While covering this, the professor made a subtle - yet obvious to anyone in the class - comparison to Trump. I forgot exactly how he did it, but, it was clear.
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