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Post Reply When is OK for a man to cry?
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42 / M / NW
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Posted 6/10/17
At the end of Angel Beats.
Posted 6/10/17 , edited 6/12/17
I'm not against crying in appropriate moments, for either gender. I've met a few "alpha males" in their 40's and 50's that cry at a drop of a hat, just have to get one or two drinks in them and they've lost every shield of emotional defense since they haven't much exposure as to how to genuinely manage their emotions. It's appropriate whenever something that's emotionally overwhelming occurs, in my opinion. Death is a common scenario that can meet this "requirement" of mine. Pets, family, loved ones...

At the same time, I don't think "requirements" mean shit for anyone other than the person giving them. Cry whenever you feel it's appropriate to cry.
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32 / M
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Posted 6/10/17
The only time I can recall crying as an adult (even in private) is when my first dog died. I don't remember crying for the passing of any relatives or friends, even if I wanted to at the time.

Growing up, I was never explicitly told, "You shouldn't cry," but there was a subconscious expectation in that regard: To remain calm in a crisis and look for the most logical path forward. I can't say whether I fell into that role because I'm male or just because nature abhors a vacuum.

There are men in my family who are more free with expressing their emotions than I am. I'm generally torn between jealousy that they're able to do so, and irritation that I can't rely on them to pull their own weight right after something goes wrong.
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27 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 6/10/17
when you get the FEEEEEEEELSSSSSSS~~~~
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 6/10/17 , edited 6/10/17
anytime
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Posted 6/10/17 , edited 6/10/17
Whenever the hell you want. That's how you know you're a real adult.
Posted 6/10/17

MysticGon wrote:


starshots wrote:

I've never seen a man cry before.


It's a truly undignified display.


Awwww.
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30 / M
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Posted 6/10/17
Men are allowed to shed 1 tear at a funeral and that is all no other tears should be shed. When cutting onions if water starts to fall you suck it back up with your eyeball
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22 / M / Britainistan
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Posted 6/10/17 , edited 6/12/17
the only time a man is ever permitted to cry is if his dog dies.

crying IMO is for women and children.
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22 / M / Britainistan
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Posted 6/10/17

ninjitsuko wrote:

I'm not against crying in appropriate moments, for either gender. I've met a few "alpha males" in their 40's and 50's that cry at a drop of a hat, just have to get one or two drinks in them and they've lost every shield of emotional defense since they haven't much exposure as to how to genuinely manage their emotions. It's appropriate whenever something that's emotionally overwhelming occurs, in my opinion. Death is a common scenario that can meet this "requirement" of mine. Pets, family, loved ones...

At the same time, I don't think "requirements" mean shit for anyone other than the person giving them. Cry whenever you feel it's appropriate to cry.


haha than they are no "alpha males" than.

i remember this one tough guy that everyone was afraid of in my area a few years back. dude was huge 6'4 + and lifted weights like a mad man.
he was also the most patriarchal *women should be seen and not heard* * you look me in the eyes and i'll kill you* that kind of thing.
anyway somehow got to drinking with him just him and me one night. as soon as he was drunk he started crying and whining about his father he never knew and how little he thought of himself and how no one will ever love him. those *extreme alpha dudes* are usually the most insecure men on the planet.
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27 / M / Romania
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Posted 6/10/17
Crying is not lame. What is lame is making lists of when should or shouldn't a man cry. I mean, that just shows how extremely insecure of their masculinity are some men. Showing your vulnerable side from time to time doesn't make you less of a man.

Also, I don't agree that men should hold in their tears in order to be "strong" for their familiy. Actually, I think crying with their family and sharing their emotions in difficult times helps the family more than being a stoic & emotionless stone.

I do think men should be men and should protect their families, but crying doesn't get in a way of either. It's a natural way of relieveing yourself of strong emotions. Crying is not a female or a childish response to emotions, it's a HUMAN response. Sadly, some people think men should be denied the right to be human.
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101 / M
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Posted 6/10/17
They say that if you let it all out, you'll feel so much better instead of holding it inside. I guess whenever they need to.

When my Grandmother and my best friend die, I didn't shred one tear.. because I couldn't.. I try to force myself to cry but ending up getting headache!!
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26 / F / Kansas
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Posted 6/10/17
I actually think it's okay for anyone to cry regardless of their gender. I think for anyone to hold in their tears when they really need to cry is unhealthy. If you need to cry, just cry. I know for myself if I keep my tears in I start to feel really bad later so sometimes I just need a good cry and even though I'm a female I'm sure there are men that need to cry as well and I'm not going to look down on someone just because they start crying. If you need to cry then just cry there's no reason to keep it in and there's nothing wrong with it.
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Posted 6/10/17
even Devil may cry so it's ok for men
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48 / F / 5280 feet above s...
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Posted 6/10/17
This idiotic, toxic interpretation of 'manhood', where there are only a few, sanctioned 'manly' reasons to cry, needs to die. Men would be much better off, as a whole, if they stopped shaming one another about emotional expression. It's harmful to them physically and mentally, and in the long run, bad for those around them. To paraphrase the late Leslie Gore (look her up), "It's Your Party, and You Can Cry If You Want To."
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