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Post Reply Is this called "pretending" or something else?
75990 cr points
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50 / F / Toronto
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Posted 7/6/17
There are ways to be "nice" without being false.
Posted 7/6/17
Op are you asking about yourself again.. your always so serious.
Humms 
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25 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 7/6/17 , edited 7/6/17
I think Regina needs a time out, she's being too obvious

I don't tell people they are stupid, I make them realize that on their own.... It just takes longer.

I really don't concern myself with others. You can't make everyone happy, so start with yourself. I mean, ya I can just walk up to someone and call them a stupid fuck, but what's the sense in that? In all reality it's just wasted time. It's time to shape up Regina

Assert yourself dammit!
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17 / F / London, England
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Posted 7/7/17 , edited 7/7/17
I relate to Regina. You have to pretend in life in prefer to keep up appearances
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Posted 7/7/17 , edited 7/7/17
I think cdarklock hit the nail on the head. Also, it sounds like Regina lacks empathy. Just because you don't personally care about children doesn't mean you can't be happy for your friend when something happens to make them happy. Personally, I wouldn't be interested in full-time work at the place where I am; nonetheless, one of my coworkers recently was moved to full-time, and it's important to him, so I'm happy for him.

As to the original question, yes, you could call it pretending, of a sort. There are probably other words for it, too.
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Posted 7/8/17
It sounds like Regina cares too much about "fitting in".

It's perfectly fine not to enjoy or be interested in someone else's happy event. Lots of people have suggested ways.

Regina's problem appears to be her perceived reactions of other people and what she has to do in order to navigate those perceptions. Tell Regina that everyone else isn't analysing her every word and action for perceived slight (as I suspect Regina may do, you're dating an SJW mate. Walk away) and they will be fine with a simple expression of pleasure for their own happiness (again, for exact wording, others have given perfect examples).

And yes, it is "pretending" is that's the word you (or Regina) wants to use for it. In reality this is something all humans (and probably other social animals to a less sophisticated extent) do when in a group of their peers. Again, Regina needs to worry less about how other people perceive her and her words and actions.

Suggest that Regina does a small experiment. Have her use one of the previous ideas (I'm happy for you, for example) and see how that goes. Make sure she doesn't say it nastily to deliberately alienate the other person and she'll find out there's no backlash. Then she can move on with more confidence.
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