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Post Reply How do I stop caring about others?
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Posted 8/10/17 , edited 8/10/17
Maybe hear them out and help them, expecting nothing in return? Then if they want to hear you out, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
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Posted 8/10/17 , edited 8/10/17

Nalaniel wrote:

Now, that does make me question the emotional bond that I share with the person in question. If they are unwilling to help me in times of need, are they really a friend of mine?


You're 19 right? So I can only imagine your friends are about the same age as you. People your age are still trying to figure themselves out and what's going on around them. You are as well (you are questioning your emotional bonds after all).

I wouldn't expect too much from them in that case. Yeah it sucks they're unwilling to help, but maybe it's because they can't. (I don't know because I don't know your friends.)


Nalaniel wrote:
Would it be better if I dedicated my time to finding people who are willing to listen to my issues...


Yeah reaching out to others who are willing to help is a good thing.


Nalaniel wrote:
...and make me feel good about myself?


Well if you want to hear what you want to hear then go for it as long as it's the truth, I guess.



Nalaniel wrote:
Or should I just stop caring because this is obviously a non-issue? What do you guys think?


It's not a non issue. I get where you're coming from. It's good that you ask if you really care as well. Perhaps spend sometime really questioning who you are as an individual who has their own thoughts, feelings and motivations. Question where they come from. Maybe there's some underlying motive you're unaware about and probably best to figure this out as you are going into your 20s. Introspection doesn't hurt.

Do you fear rejection?

Do fear being perceived in a certain way if you don't sacrifice time for your friends?

I don't think the question should be if you should stop caring about others because you'll probably always caring about someone one way or the other. You can't cut yourself off; it's not a healthy defence. You need to learn how to care for yourself first.
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Posted 8/10/17 , edited 8/10/17
you can be an unbiased "bar tender" like a therapist, listen but don't take it with you. it will take time for you to develop this, just keep on trying, when someone tells you their life story be/look at it indifferently. eventually it will set in you just don't care. better yet, to make them stop, tell them your life story. most people wants to be heard not listen. telling them my story works every time. those who stick around might actually be considered "friend" material.
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Posted 8/10/17 , edited 8/11/17
Confront them about it directly (but politely) and gauge their reaction. It is usually better to lay these things out openly rather than dragging it out.

Like you've said, sometimes people have their reasons for not being good listeners. Try to be considerate of that, because they might still care about you even if they're not a good listener. But if your gut tells you that they're an emotional parasite, do not hesitate to distance yourself from them. Distancing yourself from them (not hanging out with them, cutting text conversations short, etc) will help you care less about them over time.
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Posted 8/10/17 , edited 8/11/17
Easy. Stop caring what others think about you.

Also, if your friend will not come to your aid in your time of need, I would consider re-evaluating your consideration of them as a close friend. That much I feel should be obvious.
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Posted 8/10/17 , edited 8/11/17
"If they are unwilling to help me in times of need, are they really a friend of mine? " No they aren't.

Find people who need to listen Nala you know you can always talk to me if you are feeling down and need to vent.
You just trust the wrong people sometime and it's wearing you down.
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Posted 8/11/17 , edited 8/11/17
If you want to stop anything you have to actively do it.

Don't listen. Start talking about something else, hijack the conversation, divert the topic.
Offer solutions instead of empathy. Don't comfort, point out how the problem can be solved (hit the gym, eat less cake, take up vaping, have one day off the booze a week). If you can't see a solution tell them they'll have to think harder.

This will not be easy. It will not feel good. It will also not be fast.

If you continue to actively "not care" it will become either second nature or a skill you can tap for use when necessary.
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/12/17
Read some of the responses in the Crunchy roll forums.

That should destroy your ability to care about your fellow man.
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/12/17
I actually know a person that asked me to stop caring and stop having feelings for her. It's not an easy task.
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Posted 8/13/17 , edited 8/13/17
Oh, you poor thing. Actually got the same problem, I grow quickly attached to someone, care about them and listens to their problems, and then they just leave, hah, funny thing... And hurts.

I've yet to figure out a way to stop caring about others because I guess I am naturally a caring person? I don't expect much in return, but I at least expect to be their friends, right? That's the least they can do...
If you don't like me, why talk to me in the first place? To have a place to vent, get outta here!

tl;dr: I understand how it feels, and I have no idea how to stop it.
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/16/17
Hang around people as much as possible. Eventually you will get sick of them and stop caring.
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28 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/16/17
I stopped caring about most people when I found out my so called friends were just playing a game to see who could stand to be around me the longest. If you get hurt enough times by people they wont matter to you anymore. Of course I wouldn't advise people to purposely go out to get hurt by others. It's just what happened in my case.
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/16/17
think of reasons why you shouldn't
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