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Post Reply The Most Hilarious Martial Arts Techniques Ever!
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/12/17
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBXGJ7n_-kg

I thought this was bit out there heh! XD
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/12/17
Let's go down the list, because a lot of these aren't completely stupid (still like 50% stupid)

While the first one lists some stupid ideas, distracting the opponent does make things easier. Making them think "WTF" for even a second could let you run or immobilize them, dependent on what else you know

Never underestimate going for the balls

The meat of the arm does have pressure points, and there is an element of this that wasn't mentioned (or forgotten all together)
You're supposed to get your chin into the pressure points--> this also means his arm is off your neck and on you chin. It still hurts, but you're not being choked.
Another good choice from that position is to judo throw them. Any basic forward throw would work, or for those who don't know Judo, just squat, dip the shoulder their arm is over forward, and try to pull him over/around


The classes thing is just great. If someone attacking you actually gave you the time to do it.


The foot twisting one is another thing that's fairly legit, just not explained fully
It does offer a lot of control
Even better if you apply an ankle lock (and precede to break his ankle if needed)

Same with the finger/wrist lock at the end, though that one doe seem like much more a contest of strength.

Source: I've practiced martial arts for a few years now. Not a master and generally suck at fighting, but these are just my 2 cents
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/12/17
When the epic mustache man threw his glasses at the other guy I lost it haha
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/13/17
That rear naked choke tip is cringe worthy, also the guys technique was also cringey. A simple chin tuck is fine, I don't think there is an need to risk getting choked out just to hurt someones forearm. There are far better things to do in that situation.

That donkey guard...WTF?!?!?!? How the fuck are you even supposed to set up or get into that position in a BJJ spar or match???

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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/13/17

zero356 wrote:

Let's go down the list, because a lot of these aren't completely stupid (still like 50% stupid)

While the first one lists some stupid ideas, distracting the opponent does make things easier. Making them think "WTF" for even a second could let you run or immobilize them, dependent on what else you know

Never underestimate going for the balls

The meat of the arm does have pressure points, and there is an element of this that wasn't mentioned (or forgotten all together)
You're supposed to get your chin into the pressure points--> this also means his arm is off your neck and on you chin. It still hurts, but you're not being choked.
Another good choice from that position is to judo throw them. Any basic forward throw would work, or for those who don't know Judo, just squat, dip the shoulder their arm is over forward, and try to pull him over/around


The classes thing is just great. If someone attacking you actually gave you the time to do it.


The foot twisting one is another thing that's fairly legit, just not explained fully
It does offer a lot of control
Even better if you apply an ankle lock (and precede to break his ankle if needed)

Same with the finger/wrist lock at the end, though that one doe seem like much more a contest of strength.

Source: I've practiced martial arts for a few years now. Not a master and generally suck at fighting, but these are just my 2 cents




Well, the thing is the person they're practicing on are just standing there which is not good practices in real life situation.. Of course the enemies/rapist will alway move around and start attacking back instead of just stand there and let other start throwing punches or martial art moves on them.

The part where the man put his hand on the lady's butt, noticed how she only grab one of his hand and than twist it around to throw him down? That won't work, because in reality he will use his left hand, he not gonna stand there unless he really drunk!

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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/13/17

Dear_1nsanity wrote:

When the epic mustache man threw his glasses at the other guy I lost it haha



I watch that part three time lol, I bet that'll cost him what 100 dollar or so?

I mean, its probably not real glasses but who will use that move in a bar fight knowing that those real glasses cost them 100 dollar or so..
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/13/17

JanusCascade wrote:


zero356 wrote:

Let's go down the list, because a lot of these aren't completely stupid (still like 50% stupid)

While the first one lists some stupid ideas, distracting the opponent does make things easier. Making them think "WTF" for even a second could let you run or immobilize them, dependent on what else you know

Never underestimate going for the balls

The meat of the arm does have pressure points, and there is an element of this that wasn't mentioned (or forgotten all together)
You're supposed to get your chin into the pressure points--> this also means his arm is off your neck and on you chin. It still hurts, but you're not being choked.
Another good choice from that position is to judo throw them. Any basic forward throw would work, or for those who don't know Judo, just squat, dip the shoulder their arm is over forward, and try to pull him over/around


The classes thing is just great. If someone attacking you actually gave you the time to do it.


The foot twisting one is another thing that's fairly legit, just not explained fully
It does offer a lot of control
Even better if you apply an ankle lock (and precede to break his ankle if needed)

Same with the finger/wrist lock at the end, though that one doe seem like much more a contest of strength.

Source: I've practiced martial arts for a few years now. Not a master and generally suck at fighting, but these are just my 2 cents




Well, the thing is the person they're practicing on are just standing there which is not good practices in real life situation.. Of course the enemies/rapist will alway move around and start attacking back instead of just stand there and let other start throwing punches or martial art moves on them.

The part where the man put his hand on the lady's butt, noticed how she only grab one of his hand and than twist it around to throw him down? That won't work, because in reality he will use his left hand, he not gonna stand there unless he really drunk!



True, but that was the worse offense
The rest are meant to be used in combination with something, are more technique based (the choke), or assume a preset condition (the ankle lock)

And there is also merit in static practice, especially when starting out
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Posted 8/12/17 , edited 8/13/17

zero356 wrote:


JanusCascade wrote:


zero356 wrote:

Let's go down the list, because a lot of these aren't completely stupid (still like 50% stupid)

While the first one lists some stupid ideas, distracting the opponent does make things easier. Making them think "WTF" for even a second could let you run or immobilize them, dependent on what else you know

Never underestimate going for the balls

The meat of the arm does have pressure points, and there is an element of this that wasn't mentioned (or forgotten all together)
You're supposed to get your chin into the pressure points--> this also means his arm is off your neck and on you chin. It still hurts, but you're not being choked.
Another good choice from that position is to judo throw them. Any basic forward throw would work, or for those who don't know Judo, just squat, dip the shoulder their arm is over forward, and try to pull him over/around


The classes thing is just great. If someone attacking you actually gave you the time to do it.


The foot twisting one is another thing that's fairly legit, just not explained fully
It does offer a lot of control
Even better if you apply an ankle lock (and precede to break his ankle if needed)

Same with the finger/wrist lock at the end, though that one doe seem like much more a contest of strength.

Source: I've practiced martial arts for a few years now. Not a master and generally suck at fighting, but these are just my 2 cents




Well, the thing is the person they're practicing on are just standing there which is not good practices in real life situation.. Of course the enemies/rapist will alway move around and start attacking back instead of just stand there and let other start throwing punches or martial art moves on them.

The part where the man put his hand on the lady's butt, noticed how she only grab one of his hand and than twist it around to throw him down? That won't work, because in reality he will use his left hand, he not gonna stand there unless he really drunk!



True, but that was the worse offense
The rest are meant to be used in combination with something, are more technique based (the choke), or assume a preset condition (the ankle lock)

And there is also merit in static practice, especially when starting out



That make sense, beginner practice on standing still foe, and once they're familiar with the techniques the practice target can start moving around.
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Posted 8/13/17 , edited 8/13/17
I love how the assault rifle one just goes with the movie trope assumption that people with guns are going to stand within hand-to-hand range of the people they are covering. Especially ones with rifles that are less useful at such close ranges, due to the barrel length.
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/15/17

Blackferret64 wrote:

I love how the assault rifle one just goes with the movie trope assumption that people with guns are going to stand within hand-to-hand range of the people they are covering. Especially ones with rifles that are less useful at such close ranges, due to the barrel length.



I swear I seen that on movie before.. just can't remember the name of it..
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/15/17
Ow, penis biting.... I'll remember that one next time.
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/15/17
The guy doing the DBZ punches to the sack...





LOL Oh Lord... *wipes tears from eyes* That was a hoot.
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/15/17

JanusCascade wrote:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBXGJ7n_-kg

I thought this was bit out there heh! XD


yeah some of that is painful. Looks silly, but very painful.....owie....go for the eyes, they're small, but work wonders when they come out, use two fingers to gouge, not a thumb or single finger, it may not come out all the way.....
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/15/17

JanusCascade wrote:


zero356 wrote:


JanusCascade wrote:


zero356 wrote:

Let's go down the list, because a lot of these aren't completely stupid (still like 50% stupid)

While the first one lists some stupid ideas, distracting the opponent does make things easier. Making them think "WTF" for even a second could let you run or immobilize them, dependent on what else you know

Never underestimate going for the balls

The meat of the arm does have pressure points, and there is an element of this that wasn't mentioned (or forgotten all together)
You're supposed to get your chin into the pressure points--> this also means his arm is off your neck and on you chin. It still hurts, but you're not being choked.
Another good choice from that position is to judo throw them. Any basic forward throw would work, or for those who don't know Judo, just squat, dip the shoulder their arm is over forward, and try to pull him over/around


The classes thing is just great. If someone attacking you actually gave you the time to do it.


The foot twisting one is another thing that's fairly legit, just not explained fully
It does offer a lot of control
Even better if you apply an ankle lock (and precede to break his ankle if needed)

Same with the finger/wrist lock at the end, though that one doe seem like much more a contest of strength.

Source: I've practiced martial arts for a few years now. Not a master and generally suck at fighting, but these are just my 2 cents




Well, the thing is the person they're practicing on are just standing there which is not good practices in real life situation.. Of course the enemies/rapist will alway move around and start attacking back instead of just stand there and let other start throwing punches or martial art moves on them.

The part where the man put his hand on the lady's butt, noticed how she only grab one of his hand and than twist it around to throw him down? That won't work, because in reality he will use his left hand, he not gonna stand there unless he really drunk!



True, but that was the worse offense
The rest are meant to be used in combination with something, are more technique based (the choke), or assume a preset condition (the ankle lock)

And there is also merit in static practice, especially when starting out



That make sense, beginner practice on standing still foe, and once they're familiar with the techniques the practice target can start moving around.


Yep static, then 1/4 speed, then sparing, then old age. "Please don't hurt me, I'm old", when they turn around, do a high roundhouse to the back of the head. "Old Man Kung Fu" Cheat 'cause your bones hurt, and you need to go home and nap.
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Posted 8/15/17 , edited 8/16/17
The dumbest I've seen on the net is the touch-less knockout nonsense. Sorry guys, martial arts isn't magic or a superhuman ability despite what you see in the movies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z0_n7tGnK0

The choking defense one in the video was hilarious, you would literally be assisting the attacker in knocking you out
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