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Post Reply "Puppy Dog" Love
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
Those people that just immediately attach and suddenly they're just following and praising whatever mundane thing you say or accomplish. The type you could serve the proverbial piss and they'd lick it up and then grovel. Someone so starved for love they'll immediately cling to any illusion or shallow sighting of it.

What do you personally think of people that display, what I'd refer to as, "puppy dog" love?

I personally view it as placing another upon a pedestal. Worshipping in the bedroom maybe, the goodness of ourselves praised, but never should our flaws be ignored without protest. We ought never be placed above the thresholds of doing wrong. I'd rather have someone who knows what and who they want and won't accept all behavior; I'd refuse to be someone's unintentional abuser--no token saint to fill the voids in a craving heart, just another person who's humanity must be recognized for the good and the bad.

Are you guilty of this behavior (or have been)? Do you find yourself adoring it? What do you think of idolizing affection?
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
Hmm, sometimes it's self-serving. A lot of misplaced frustration like you said. It could be even perverse in a way. People like that need help figuring stuff out, so you either be patient with them and try to explain, or cut them off and wish them the best.

Doting parents, relatives do that because I like to think it's biological programming. But when a friend or partner does it, things get awkward.
Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
Isn't it just a misguided attempt at getting laid.
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17

HateKillingCamels wrote:

Isn't it just a misguided attempt at getting laid.


I wouldn't agree with that. The people I tend to find this in are particularly lonely and and see their purpose as being needed by another. It's kind of that--you can't love another until you love yourself--old rhetoric.
Ejanss 
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17

PrinceJudar wrote:
What do you personally think of people that display, what I'd refer to as, "puppy dog" love?


You can love your puppy dog, just don't....love your puppy dog.
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
Yeah I think I did something similar to that when I was a young child to my parents or brother, not anymore tho.

Honestly I think it's pretty disgusting and a little psychotic when it's done with sincerity. I think it's also telling of someone who's in love with being subservient (essentially they're saying that they're a worthless piece of shit and their only way of having some worth in life is through serving and validating their object of adoration) and it isn't even respectful of the person who they basically treat as a deity (or even respectful of themselves), who is in fact actually just human.
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17

Ejanss wrote:

You can love your puppy dog, just don't....love your puppy dog.


From experience?

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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
Different people display "puppy dog love" for different reasons. Sometimes it is because they simply don't care about you that much, but seem to think that being exceedingly fake is a good way to be civil and polite (when they're not stabbing you in the back, anyway). Otherwise, they might be an extremely insecure person who is playing it way too safe, always opting for what they think will get a positive reaction. Whatever the reasons, fake is fake and it's a problem, but it's not always for malicious motives. I think it helps to think about their reasons for being fake before placing all the blame on them for the situation though.
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
Existing solely for another person....seems romantic, but in real life, it is a self destructive permit to the worshiped to abuse.


I wonder why PrinceJudar asks such a question. Had they been in contact with an obsessive stalker?
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
I once had a date with someone like that. He wanted to introduce me to his whole family that day and told me I was the one for him. I ended it by the next date. That was hard to do because he really did have puppy dog eyes. I had to look him in the eyes and say that it wasn't going to work out between us. I couldn't explain properly then that he had a view of me on a pedestal without getting to know me as a person. I wanted to relax get used to dating and enjoy getting to know him but those expectations were getting in the way.

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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Existing solely for another person....seems romantic, but in real life, it is a self destructive permit to the worshiped to abuse.

I wonder why PrinceJudar asks such a question. Had they been in contact with an obsessive stalker?


It's relatively common. I have seen more elsewhere, but I have experienced a couple in my past as well. It's more common in spheres where social hierarchical roles are more established in a community--often those below 'rank' may acquire 'puppy love' for those above 'rank'. This is probably due on part that social status is a rather prominent sexually attractive trait for humans--but clearly it goes unhinged at times.

I don't bring it up because I have some sort of stalker or something. I'm merely bored and tired of these political threads where most individuals remind me of some elderly, mentally disturbed coot screaming from their backyard.
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17
I am not a big fan of it. Just plain and simple. I will be happy to call out bullshit on anyone, even if I love them. It is only fair? Right...?
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17

tkayt wrote:

I once had a date with someone like that. He wanted to introduce me to his whole family that day and told me I was the one for him. I ended it by the next date. That was hard to do because he really did have puppy dog eyes. I had to look him in the eyes and say that it wasn't going to work out between us. I couldn't explain properly then that he had a view of me on a pedestal without getting to know me as a person. I wanted to relax get used to dating and enjoy getting to know him but those expectations were getting in the way.


Yeah, that's pretty much it right there.
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17

PrinceJudar wrote:


PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Existing solely for another person....seems romantic, but in real life, it is a self destructive permit to the worshiped to abuse.

I wonder why PrinceJudar asks such a question. Had they been in contact with an obsessive stalker?


It's relatively common. I have seen more elsewhere, but I have experienced a couple in my past as well. It's more common in spheres where social hierarchical roles are more established in a community--often those below 'rank' may acquire 'puppy love' for those above 'rank'. This is probably due on part that social status is a rather prominent sexually attractive trait for humans--but clearly it goes unhinged at times.

I don't bring it up because I have some sort of stalker or something. I'm merely bored and tired of these political threads where most individuals remind me of some elderly, mentally disturbed coot screaming from their backyard.


Seems like a case of the grass is greener on the other side.Perhaps people need to love someone as perfect, or one at all. I imagine it might be more common on the internet. Granted, I am not in love with you, but online, you sure feel perfect. A whole projection onto a vague human representation, without flaws i disagree with. I heard of your flaws, but without physical interaction, it sure is easy to imagine what one is like without it.

I wonder if anyone feels that way about me. Sorry, just rambling.
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Posted 9/2/17 , edited 9/2/17

PrinceJudar wrote:


tkayt wrote:

I once had a date with someone like that. He wanted to introduce me to his whole family that day and told me I was the one for him. I ended it by the next date. That was hard to do because he really did have puppy dog eyes. I had to look him in the eyes and say that it wasn't going to work out between us. I couldn't explain properly then that he had a view of me on a pedestal without getting to know me as a person. I wanted to relax get used to dating and enjoy getting to know him but those expectations were getting in the way.


Yeah, that's pretty much it right there.


After I posted that I realised that I had similar issues with my ex. He told me I had posh accent and excellent upbringing. Since I think we shared some common history in family dynamics and socio-economics I don't see how he came up with that. Yes I did grow up in a different country from him, that's the only real difference. He noted that I wasn't big on public displays of affections by comparing me to his cousins' relationship. I was raised very conservative in that regard so most of the huggy stuff would be in private without any audience.
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