For everyone who truly believes i am the alpha and omega the beginning and the end. The almighty the undisputable savior of this N00blett ridden site.
Join me. Help the cause for a better tomorrow
...Cookies, punch, death metal and hookers in the back...i swear!
Trevor (OP)
Now for the History of Crunchyroll as seen through the eyes of Mr. LINKX (which won him a 3 month 
membership from a CR contest)
In the beginning, Kyocool created the internet and Crunchyroll. Crunchyroll, however, was without form and void. Soon, Kyocool said, "Let there be Internet!", and there was Internet, thus giving Crunchyroll its shape. But Kyocool was missing something on Crunchyroll, he needed someone to give Crunchyroll life and spark, and he soon impregnated the virgin Slowdanse with a boy. The father was a man named Mauz. 9 month's later Slowdanse gave birth to a beautiful boy, and he was called Shinji. No one knows the exact date of his birth, but it is rumored around mid-2005 to mid-2006. When Shinji was born, three wise men came to deliver goods. These three men were named BasouKazuma, Killar, and Edsamac. There were originally 4 wise men, but one died, his name was Fuzzmaster (RIP). The three wise men also had wife's. BasouKazuma was married to redgarnettk, Killar to Faeleia, and Edsamac was such a pimp he had two wifes, s_j_b and Do0maid. However, s_j_b and Do0maid did not fight often, some might even say that the sex life between those three was passionate.
Continuing with the story, the three wise men followed the Crunchyroll star in the sky to reach Shinji. It is rumored to look a little like this:
. When the three reached Shinji they presented him with gifts. BasouKazuma gave him anime uploads. Killar gave him Drama uploads. And Edsamac gave him technical support and fixed the interface of Crunchyroll. Yes, everything seemed perfect. Due, to Shinji being perfect he aged and matured fast. Within weeks, he was controlling and ruling his empire of Crunchyroll. The wise men and their wifes were promoted to a status called "mod." What is a mod, you may be asking? STFU NUB RESEARCH IT, AND STOP GOING INTO MOD CHAT ASKING!
Continuing with the story, Mauzzie and Slowdanse also had other children besides Shinji. However these were all accidents. Mauzzie wouldn't get the vasectomy like Slowdanse asked. They had 8 accident's. The names of these accidents were pewee, DeNote, ClassicalTwist, meiskan, catex, Soy2342, animestudz, and the youngest, jamehze. Later in Mauzzie's and Slowdanse's life they also gave birth to a robot, which was named by Shinji, and called crunchybot. These were all promoted to "mod" status as well. Soon, Crunchyroll started getting followers, who worshiped Kyocool and Shinji. There are many people of the kind who I will list: Dusterbayala, digs, Eros (who was apparently an ex-mod, but was demoted for sleeping with one of Edsamac's wife, s_j_b), henz_lan, animoo_x, Josey, kris07, Senby, killua787, Dawn1, Kirby, mushroomjay (also an ex mod, demoted for fapping actions), Suicider, Lazybook, LmonadeLOL, ollie_p, Scripted (ahh i forgot!), Dularc, mochacafe (albeit, turned evil), Waffle_26, and zeronite (if I missed someone, and I think I did, you know I still love you).
Yes, things were going smoothly, or were they?! Non- believers in Kyocool and Shinji started to erupt. They were eliminated immediately by Kyocool's wrath and Shinji didn't have to go through a crucification to save mankind on Crunchyroll. However, as times kept going, the number of non-believer's increased, mostly because of the reproduction of Mauzzie and Slowdanse (get he damn vasectomy man!) Soon, the number of non-believers was extremely high and he decided to cause a huge and vast account deletion flood. But he needed to give the believers safety. Yes, the only man he could trust, one almost as strong as him, Xrn_the_Nigma. Xrn_the_Nigma was not just a man, he was THE MAN, he was the Ichigo of Bleach, the one who murdered Naruto (with ease I might add), the man of this short Bible story I am writing. Yes, Xrn for short, he was Crunchyroll's only hope.
Xrn, hearing this plea from Kyocool, decided to help. He was already strong enough to survive a measly account deletion flood. But due to his generosity, he decided to help the CR world. However, history here was a little erased. Kyocool came to some complications and parts of CR were deleted during the account deletion flood. It is rumored, however, that Xrn led the CR supporters to safety, by fighting dangerous creatures and monsters to keep the CR community safe. He even killed Aizen and Johann.
And it was over. Crunchyroll could finally return to peace. A few weeks later, as the community was growing, Xrn expressed an idea to Kyocool, the idea of forums. Yes, Kyocool was also thinking along the same terms. After 5 minutes of extensive research they finally developed it, The Crunchyroll Forums. It was beautiful, topics everywhere, discussions, and a sexy interface. However, an evil hacker arised. He spammed topics and trolled everywhere. His name was Arano, and he was Xrn's brother! Both equals, he survived the great account deletion thread without a scratch. He started to hack passwords off other peoples passwords and stole their accounts. Xrn knew he was responsible for this, for he could've killed Arano long ago if he wanted. Arano by now was hacking accounts by the second, he probably had at least 50,000 of peoples accounts now. Xrn, brutality marched in to Arano's hacker castle, killing all his servants.
Arano: Well, well, look who we have here. Brother, how are you.
Xrn: What you're doing is wrong Arano! Let my people go!
Arano: Your people? Hah! It shows how ignorant you really are, brother.
*arano suddenly appears behind Xrn's back, using some ninja move or some shit, w/e it was cool*
Arano whispers: If you want your people back you'll have to kill me.
*suddenly arano disappears into the dark*
Xrn, knew he had to kill his brother, but he didn't want too. Kyocool had a plan though. He would send a virus to everyone of Arano's other followers. During that time Xrn would take the CR supporters that Arano kidnapped and run. Although Xrn was opposed to running, so was Kyocool, but it was the only way. That night, Kyocool sent millions of virus' to Arano's soldiers. They all died and Xrn led the supporters back into their stolen accounts. However, there was a huge miscalculation and the viruses were filling up the path back to the accounts. Xrn didn't know what to do. Arano was certainly coming back for revenge. He soon figured it out. He got a staff out of no where and threw it with force to the ground. *BOOM* The virus' soon lifted up and the path was clear. Xrn, led his people through the huge amounts of virus' and Arano wasn't able to catch up to them. It was over. Xrn had the satisfaction knowing his brother was going to suffer on his own.
A few months later, the CR community was happy as could be and the population was increasing, once again by Mauz and Slowdanse. However, Kyocool and Xrn soon realized there was corruption in the forums. Great minds think alike, eh? Kyocool asked Xrn to climb the Crunchyroll Mountain of Threads. It is rumored he scrolled up the Forum Mountain and enter thou's mighty name into the user search. He soon clicked enter and.... Kyocool was there. Kyocool was going to write the CR commandment's, give them to Xrn, who would soon spread them among the people. And he started...
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