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Q: Doctor,  I’ve heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency.  What does cow eat?   Hay and corn.  And what are these?   Vegetables.  So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).  And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!
Q: How  can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain…good!

Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q:  Will  sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
A:  Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!
Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
*WARNING: Follow this advice at your own risk.
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Comments
  • 3/17/10
    Marshmallowz
    LOL I love these answers!
  • 3/17/10
    Giga07
    Brilliant advice from a brilliant doctor!!! =D
  • 3/12/10
    kittykyo
    hes so adorable looking! ;P
  • 3/12/10
    Mexider
    "If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.." O.o this guy is no quack...hes a genius XP
  • 3/11/10
    kasai-hi
    lol! it all makes sense! too bad uèd probably die from obesity following this
  • 3/11/10
    cyrius666
    "A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one." -- oh dear GOD! ... thats brilliant! :p
  • 3/10/10
    yinfire
    I wish the advice were true.
  • 3/10/10
    TheBlueAuthor
    The degrees that were cut of the picture: The round diet doctor I can't believe I can see you with my little eyes Don't look at don't look at me
  • 3/10/10
    kaiyukichan
    lol I love his thinking!!! If only it were all true.
  • 3/10/10
    kakira123
    I <3 this docters thinking!!! HILARIOUSS!!!! HAHAHAaaaaa
  • 3/10/10
    Mairezu-chan
    If he is a real doctor, I'd like to know how he got his degree. Q1, it strengthens the heart to work out. Q2, just b/c cows eat vegetables, doesn't mean we eat too... we don't eat what's in their stomach... I hope he's not certified.
  • 3/10/10
    nab2000
    Hm...I hope this isn't a real doctor. xD
  • 3/10/10
    videling
    I like there thinking
  • 3/9/10
    shadofrak
    X3 i wish this was all true