I was doing Mad Glibs with a friend, and this is what we came up with:
bloody Macdonald had a hatchet, E-I-E-I-O
and on that hatchet he had an turkey carcass, E-I-E-I-O
with a ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh here
and a ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh there,
here a ahhhhhhhhh, there a ahhhhhhhhh,
everywhere a ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh,
bloody Macdonald had a hatchet, E-I-E-I-O.

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

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50 F (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.

35 F (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start.
Canadians drive with the windows down.

32 F (0 C)
American water freezes.
Canadian water gets thicker.

0 F (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60 F
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100 F (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173 F (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460 F (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500 F (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Just say good-bye,
I'll live, and I'll die
Hooked on a star,
Enraptured by the sky,
In love with a satelite.