First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
Post Reply How do I make people like me?
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 6/16/18
It seems that when it comes to online conversations, many people are inclined to believe that I am a cold and indifferent individual. That probably stems from the fact that I do not use many emojis. However, that cannot possibly be the only reason as to why I am not viewed in a favourable way. An important thing to note is that this impression of me tends to fade away after people get to know me better, but what can I do to avoid giving people an unpleasant first impression of me? I have a difficult time believing that emojis can make such a big difference. What do you think?
55767 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
62 / M / Earth
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/29/17
I wonder if it's just a language/wording/communication thing, (which is sort of why emojis exist, but I'm not a fan of those, either)... When all you have to go by is the text you have typed, and people can't see your face, or hear the tone of your voice, words can only be taken at face value. Context can help sometimes, but, only for those who make an attempt to parse it.

For instance, the words: "make people like me". On the surface, that means you want to (apparently) force them to do it, which wouldn't work. I'm sure you don't really mean that, you probably meant "What can I do differently, so that people will like me".

Without reading a whole bunch of your dialog with others to form a better picture of you, someone might take it as is, and see it the first way. First impressions are very important; once someone sees you in that first light, it becomes pretty fixed in place, and it colors anything you say after that. It then takes a lot of interaction to undo it, if they even give you the chance. Even after interacting awhile, any word choices, that may be seen as aggressive, can still undo any positive impressions people have formed of you.
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/29/17
Could always just start a trial period of using emoji's and see if it changes the way people react. My brother used to have the exact same problem you did and then he started using excessive emojis and people took everything he said a lot better, or so he tells me.

It's hard to convey emotion and stuff when you're just typing in a chatty way anyway I think.

HEY I LIKE YOU NALANIEL
6105 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / BuBbLeS!
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 6/16/18
people are either going to like you or not. don't force a liking and don't change yourself for them. it's not worth it. I find people will interact and/or they won't like what you're into and so forth. so, just hang around and find those who share similar incidents. there's no shame in having a few friends or good friends than dozens of fair weather friends. but I'm in the same boat, I tend to be cold and indifferent, but I don't go hunting friends, it's when people feel they have similar interests we start up a conversation sort of thing. and don't use emoji if you don't like them, I rarely use them, I prefer full typing myself, including words and so forth. just be shy and tread lightly, life is short yes, but why rush into something you don't feel comfortable with.
5558 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 6/16/18

Nalaniel wrote:

It seems that when it comes to online conversations, many people are inclined to believe that I am a cold and indifferent individual. That probably stems from the fact that I do not use many emojis. However, that cannot possibly be the only reason as to why I am not viewed in a favourable way. An important thing to note is that this impression of me tends to fade away after people get to know me better, but what can I do to avoid giving people an unpleasant first impression of me? I have a difficult time believing that emojis can make such a big difference. What do you think?


Emoji's mean nothing

If anything you look like an immature middle schooler throwing out all those

HINT: Emoji's are not the problem nor are they the solution.
139 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Minnesota
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/29/17
People are overly sensitive and judgmental... I'm the type of person that gives everyone a chance... but the chances of me disliking someone is very great. Also, emoji's are childish, but when it comes to texting and talking over the internet, it can help let people know if something you said is you joking or being serious. I use them to let people know my intentions. But if someone doesn't like you or give you a chance, to hell with them.
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/29/17
I think you are a decent person. Except you seemed to hate me since I didn't talk too much. Maybe you are just having bad luck finding decent people
157 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/30/17
I was told that too which is the reason I sometimes use emojis. I don't use them all the time but quite a lot. Depending upon the conversation. If I don't know the person, I will use them so they understand where I am coming from. Besides, emojis can be fun
1370 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / New Jersey
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/30/17
As a person who actually is cold and indifferent I usually see that everything is how you word things. One single word can shift the entire tone of your conversation in a negative light or cause the person in which you are trying to hold a conversation with to view you in a less than positive manner. Again it's kinda difficult to suggest how a person can change since I have no idea how things would be if we were having a one on one conversation which is different than talking in a group forum.

Also note the golden rule of everywhere: Your not going to please everyone. Your not going even please half of em. Hell if you manage to net two in ten, but eventually someone will match your style of things and you'll be friends in no time.

Lastly speaking emoji's really don't have anything to do with it. Sure they make you come off as light hearted, even funny in some occasions but as I said do you really want to force yourself to use them solely because it will make people like you?
2064 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / Sacramento, CA
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/30/17

Nalaniel wrote:

It seems that when it comes to online conversations, many people are inclined to believe that I am a cold and indifferent individual. That probably stems from the fact that I do not use many emojis. However, that cannot possibly be the only reason as to why I am not viewed in a favourable way. An important thing to note is that this impression of me tends to fade away after people get to know me better, but what can I do to avoid giving people an unpleasant first impression of me? I have a difficult time believing that emojis can make such a big difference. What do you think?


I have the same problem, but in real life. I've been told I can be intimidating to talk to because I don't smile often around others and I have an intense stare (whatever that means). I've been trying to correct this by forcing myself to smile more to seem more warm or inviting. But I don't know. A forced smile just seems so... forced. It looks unnatural.

I think using emojis are kind of similar. But they're easier to use than a real smile because you don't have to worry about whether or not they look natural. They look the same every time and can help convey a lighter mood to whoever you're communicating with. I used to never use emojis at all, but started not too long ago so I could seem more friendly.
25655 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
11.260793, 141.91...
Offline
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/30/17
You kind of can't unless you change a whole 180°. It just takes the right people to like you. From my personal experience at least.
Posted 10/29/17 , edited 10/30/17
You can't control what people like or dislike about you.
32384 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
Offline
Posted 10/31/17 , edited 10/31/17
You are a great person Nala honestly the problem isn't you it's other people (to a degree) the problem is they have their own dislikes and likes and they can't control that either.

Don't go changing yourself i have tried changing myself so many times over the years so people would like me and it's only lead to pain even when more people like me.

If someone doesn't like you tell yourself "Well fuck them they aren't worth it nor deserve my friendship" and move on.
Its hard i struggle with it myself but it makes it all better.

You will find people it's just fact that finding good friends is hard as fuck.
Posted 10/31/17 , edited 10/31/17
Do unto others as they themselves would have done unto them. Empathy is a prerequisite for moral sensitivity. Differing punctuations can lead to a variety of communication problems and stereotyping does not always arise from bad intentions. In most cases, careless generalizations can grow from good intentions, and even from a little bit of knowledge.
28455 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / M / Prison
Offline
Posted 10/31/17 , edited 6/16/18
I like you.


OT: You cannot make people like you, but you can be a more pleasant person. Try not to foist personal problems on others you barely know. Be honest as well. A bit of humor doesn't hurt, but try to talk in a productive manner, whether it be of entertainment or great interest.
First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.