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Post Reply How can I figure out why nobody likes me?
Posted 11/10/17 , edited 11/10/17

Nalaniel wrote:

Admittedly, my social skills are not particularly developed, but I am also not the type of person who keeps silent all of the time. While it is true that I struggle to approach people, I am still capable of doing it. I feel like there must be other factors that lead people to not care about me. Then again, I do not really know what it takes for one person to start caring for another. What is necessary for that to happen? Do I need to possess extraordinary communication skills to make friends or is being average good enough? Perhaps I also need to note that I do not mind social gatherings, but I tend to avoid going to parties and other events where the music is so loud that it hurts my ears. Are most people into going to parties?



"Then again, I do not really know what it takes for one person to start caring for another. What is necessary for that to happen? Do i need to .."


The other person has to feel it, too. You can't force these things. You can be a social superman and if he she isn't feeling it, it's just an illusion.


It is sad, but appearances do matter, as does chemistry, but I think the crux of what others are saying is correct. You lack confidence, and discretion. You can yet do something about the confidence part.






Posted 11/10/17 , edited 11/10/17

HateKillingCamels wrote:

It's because people are just jealous of how fucking amazing you are omg I hate you so much nalaniel grrrrrrrr how could you be so fucking perfect, give me your face.


Yeah.
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Posted 11/10/17 , edited 11/10/17
"You are the only light there is
For yourself my friend"

https://youtu.be/r83sdnV2eLU
Posted 11/11/17 , edited 11/11/17

llunga wrote:


It seems like your biggest downfall might be having insecurities about yourself. If you constantly believe that everyone dislikes you. I'd say have more confidence in yourself. It's okay to be introverted and not attend parties. I like your personality Nal and I don't think you should have to change for anybody.


Your opinion is one that only a minority of people hold.

Edited for clarification.
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Posted 11/14/17 , edited 11/14/17
Do you mean irl or online or both? You clearly have some friends online who care about you. Logically speaking, the majority of the world's population are just average people. Do you think being average prevents them from making friends? Of course not. There are plenty of introverts in the world who don't like loud parties. Maybe you haven't met them yet.

You can't please everyone in the world. Different people will gravitate to different people and none of us can control that. We can't control who likes or dislikes us so who cares. Instead of wasting our energy on figuring out why someone doesn't like us, why not use that time and energy on doing things that we enjoy instead, things that make us innately happy even when others aren't around, things that make us feel better about ourselves, or things that help improve ourselves for the sake of our own happiness instead of doing it for other people?

Sorry for the rant. I'm berating myself more than anything but I hope you get my point.
Posted 11/14/17 , edited 11/14/17

adrianc0 wrote:

You clearly have some friends online who care about you.


I would not say so. It is true that most of them say that they care, but they really don't.

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Posted 11/17/17 , edited 11/17/17
I sometimes ask myself the same things. Sometimes I think it's because people are too quick to judge, after all isn't there some thing out there where they say you can judge a person entirely on the first ten minutes that you know them? That first conversation? Anyway back to what I was saying. In my own experience people that first meet me either think I'm a complete idiot or that I'm something of a psychopath. In essence I have a weird way of speaking, as if I am from a different time and that kind of turns people off because I don't understand or get most cultural references of todays world. I have an eccentric, rather eclectic personality that takes more than just the initial meeting to understand. If you only give me one chance to show you what kind of person I am, your not going to have a very positive impression of me at all. The more you hand around me and know me, the better you will see that I can be one of the closest and best friends anyone could have.
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Posted 11/19/17 , edited 11/19/17

Nalaniel wrote:


adrianc0 wrote:

You clearly have some friends online who care about you.


I would not say so. It is true that most of them say that they care, but they really don't.



ass forget about me why don't you
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Posted 11/19/17 , edited 11/20/17
Darn, you are growing into quite the cynic, aren't you Nalaniel.
Posted 11/20/17 , edited 11/20/17

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Darn, you are growing into quite the cynic, aren't you Nalaniel. :(


I am a cynic. However, what I find weird is that it takes many people a decent amount of time before they notice.


Ryulightorb wrote:

ass forget about me why don't you


It is a bit more complicated than you are making it out to be.
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Posted 11/29/17 , edited 11/29/17
If you're a quiet person, keep in mind that many people have already stereotyped you as someone who is probably kind but boring or maybe gloomy and boring. It's not fair, since they probably don't know you well enough to justify reaching this conclusion, but that is how many people perceive quiet people. It might not be that people don't like you, but rather they've already categorized you under this stereotype or, since your quiet, that the conversation will take more effort on their part and they don't feel like expending the energy.

Don't do anything special or go out of your way to make friends. If you find yourself in a group setting, speak up once or twice if the conversation interests you. If you find that there are one or two people in the group that you think you like, try to get a grasp of what their interests are and what their sense of humor is like. You don't even necessarily have to talk to them right away to figure this out, if someone else brings up one of your interests in the conversation. Personally, I was looking for people who a) liked video games and didn't give me a blank "Oh..." expression if I mentioned that I liked anime and b) people who shared or at least were not offended by morbid humor. If you don't get bored just talking to them, you might end up as friends.

And nope, not everyone enjoys going to parties. I don't (I also don't like the noise and I don't really like hordes of people). I think there are plenty of people on Crunchyroll who don't like going to parties either.
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