Post Reply What do we rely on?
Humms 
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Posted 4/20/18 , edited 4/20/18
So something just occurred to me.

We live life, just like anyone, but heres the thing. I've been getting this feeling when I talk to certain people, it's like they become this gravitational pull, like I'm actually hearing the truth, and it's funny I say that, because it only happens to people I meet, or when I get into a deep conversation with someone whos speaking about their honest life.

it's like I lock into something, and its a euphoric feeling, like everything around me becomes this haze, but it only happens with eye contact with certain people. Some people like to dart their eyes, or break that commitment, but when it comes down to it I'll stare right through someone. Just like a hand shake, Ya that's probably a guy thing, but it tells a lot about someone.

It doesn't happen often, but I get this feeling that I can actually figure out real people who actually have pride in themselves.

We can talk to anyone, we can be friends with people, but there's just something about eye contact, and communication. It's so crucial for me now to talk to the right people.

But what do we rely on?

Humans aren't always going to be straight up and honest with you, I learned that the hard way, but the point is, when you go through all the bullshit, all the running around, all the games, you build that tolerance, you build this sense of pride in yourself towards it. Maybe instead of believing that people are looking out for you, which some are, and I'm grateful for that, those are people you call friends, but once you begin to stand up for yourself, once you begin to walk and talk based on your worth, then you start to find people who offer you theirs.

I know its selfish to say only rely on yourself, but if you yourself can't even do that, what can you really take pride in? If we expect people to work for you, then you haven't learned anything meaningful. A step to becoming a leader is to show others why they want to work with you, and I think a lot of people forget that

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Posted 4/21/18 , edited 4/21/18
we are our own best friend and worst enemy after all. I never really relied on anyone but myself. had a bad childhood and toxic situations so I've learned to enjoy my own counsel and not fret about friends and so forth. in the end, I've learned a lot approach life "it's all about me". if I have to endure your problems by listening to them and help you, and, you in turn, aren't there for me when I need you, what's the purpose of such said friendship. at least I can always count on myself for being there for me when I need me.

bonus: I'm the brutally honest person, it scares people, they think on it, and short time passes and they realize it meant something even if it hurt at the first, because the truth will hurt a person because a person isn't prepared. we lie so much that when one tells the truth, it's either deny or harmful.
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Posted 4/21/18 , edited 4/21/18
I think you may be experiencing confirmation bias Humms.

It's easy to fall into because your brain gives you a dopamine hit for confirming held opinions and feelings.

The fact that you spotted it happening is a good sign. If you feel it again then do some painful and boring (and I promise you it will feel like that, it does for me to be certain) research around the things that person tells you or that you read and see if it's actually true, or just wishful thinking.

It is painful and weird to find out a personal belief is wrong. Good luck.
Humms 
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Posted 4/21/18 , edited 4/22/18

CasualObserver wrote:

I think you may be experiencing confirmation bias Humms.

It's easy to fall into because your brain gives you a dopamine hit for confirming held opinions and feelings.

The fact that you spotted it happening is a good sign. If you feel it again then do some painful and boring (and I promise you it will feel like that, it does for me to be certain) research around the things that person tells you or that you read and see if it's actually true, or just wishful thinking.

It is painful and weird to find out a personal belief is wrong. Good luck.


Oh don't worry.

I always say some of the most honest people are the ones you have to watch out for the most.

You can be laughing it up with them and talking about things that hit there mark, but at the end of the day they are full of shit

I know, I know people are full of shit when I see them, they just want to get in with you for something, they just want something for their own personal gain, and they don't give one dam about you.

these little games people play, and they think I don't notice, because I smile and be the nicest person I can be to everyone.

When people think I'm Naive or stupid, thats their own fault, but I can tell you for certain the feeling I get from trustworthy people.

Over where I am you need to watch your back, because nobody is going to do it for me.

No need for a response, just felt like writing something for this
Posted 4/21/18 , edited 4/22/18
It's something like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Humms 
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Posted 4/21/18 , edited 4/22/18

niotabunny wrote:

we are our own best friend and worst enemy after all. I never really relied on anyone but myself. had a bad childhood and toxic situations so I've learned to enjoy my own counsel and not fret about friends and so forth. in the end, I've learned a lot approach life "it's all about me". if I have to endure your problems by listening to them and help you, and, you in turn, aren't there for me when I need you, what's the purpose of such said friendship. at least I can always count on myself for being there for me when I need me.

bonus: I'm the brutally honest person, it scares people, they think on it, and short time passes and they realize it meant something even if it hurt at the first, because the truth will hurt a person because a person isn't prepared. we lie so much that when one tells the truth, it's either deny or harmful.


I never expect someone to be there for me.

Stubborn like a bull, there I am trying to do it all by myself. In a way it has helped me, less time to get on the same page, and more time for someone to just join me, but there I am, always there to help someone. Tis the nature of things

What can I say, I take after my Mom

Being brutally honest only reveals your true intentions, and if someone doesn't like that. tough shit
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Posted 4/22/18 , edited 4/22/18

Humms wrote:


CasualObserver wrote:

I think you may be experiencing confirmation bias Humms.

It's easy to fall into because your brain gives you a dopamine hit for confirming held opinions and feelings.

The fact that you spotted it happening is a good sign. If you feel it again then do some painful and boring (and I promise you it will feel like that, it does for me to be certain) research around the things that person tells you or that you read and see if it's actually true, or just wishful thinking.

It is painful and weird to find out a personal belief is wrong. Good luck.


Oh don't worry.

I always say some of the most honest people are the ones you have to watch out for the most.

You can be laughing it up with them and talking about things that hit there mark, but at the end of the day they are full of shit

I know, I know people are full of shit when I see them, they just want to get in with you for something, they just want something for their own personal gain, and they don't give one dam about you.

these little games people play, and they think I don't notice, because I smile and be the nicest person I can be to everyone.

When people think I'm Naive or stupid, thats their own fault, but I can tell you for certain the feeling I get from trustworthy people.

Over where I am you need to watch your back, because nobody is going to do it for me.

No need for a response, just felt like writing something for this


I will respond as that's an interesting viewpoint. It sounds like you work or operate within a large organisation or group, and I believe you're overestimating people. Most aren't self-reflective rationalists and don't really scheme in the way you describe. Self-interest is obvious, we all have it, but the majority of people don't work towards it at all points with carefully thought-out plans.

You're probably the only actual arch-villain you know You can let the general populace run free and grind their lives out without worrying about their motives, they'll be low level at best, no need for deep analysis. Be careful if you go into business with one or enter a binding social contract such as marriage, but you probably already know that.

That idiot Trudeau looks like an easy displace if you want to rule the frozen Northlands though
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Posted 4/22/18 , edited 9/3/18
Myself firstly because I am God and the people I trust are second since they are only my reflections, literally. I was taught by my Dad that you come first. If you can't help yourself others cannot help you since others can only help you when you accept their help thus you are actually helping yourself when others help you.

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Posted 4/22/18 , edited 4/22/18
I rely on myself, I don't like asking other people for anything. I don't like people relying on me either. I'm not interested in talking to or making friends with just anybody. It's not that I dislike people really. I just don't ever feel the urge to initiate, and depending on my mood, I probably don't want to be bothered. Just how I am. I think I like forums for that reason. They are impersonal and completely on my terms.
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Posted 4/22/18 , edited 4/23/18
Coffee
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Posted 4/24/18 , edited 4/24/18
I rely on myself first, and if I'm not enough alone, I rely on my family and friends. I'm fortunate to have a good support system, but there are plenty of people who aren't so lucky.
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