First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last

If you get a girlfriend, what is your next goal?

Post Reply
10514 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
Offline
Posted 10/13/18 , edited 10/13/18
I think step 2 is generally "Keep a girlfriend"
Humms 
14948 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
26 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 10/13/18 , edited 10/13/18
I Would shove the barrel of the gun directly into the priests mouth, and then proceed to duct tape him in that exact position with the trigger still being an option for him. I would say to the priest " A man of god would never take his own life, are you a coward, or a man of his word?" Leaving him to decide.

I would then cut the cantaloupe in half and share it with the Goat before whispering in its ear "Be free, remember this moment. " smacking it on its rear to guide it in a direction.

Giving the other half of the cantaloupe to the woman, I would repeat these words. " I'm never vacationing here ever again, the brochure didn't say fuck all about this" As the goat finds its way back, headbutting me on the backside, knowing that was never my cantaloupe in the first place.
26056 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
54 / M / In
Offline
Posted 10/13/18 , edited 10/13/18
Kill them all
It's the only way to be sure
2652 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
34 / F / Maryland
Offline
Posted 10/13/18 , edited 10/13/18
Given this criteria?

Duct tape the priest and the girlfriend to a tree, Sacrifice the goat to the gods and run like hell as lightning tears out of the storm clouds, raining carnage in it's wake, with the cantaloupe in hand!

117429 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
71 / M / Columbia, MO
Offline
Posted 10/15/18 , edited 10/15/18
The goat knows something and likely it's very meaningful; otherwise the armed priest wouldn't be in the room much less present in this scenario. Metaphorically, the cantaloupe has a secret encapsulated within that, once known, is capable of altering your sense of time & space; hence, the on-sale duct tape purchased recently from Ace Hardware presently in your possession as a means, albeit odd, silencing its end or canceling its unique stream of consciousness should seepage account psychic boundary breakdown become a reality.

The gf is merely a foil. You can choose to ignore her Presence or freely acquiesce, accept her unconditionally, hope for future best once the goat / priest / cantaloupe situation(s) is / are resolved.

Goal(s): record this. God knows, it may become the ultimate tool for conflict resolution going forward 2019-future tense.
Posted 10/15/18 , edited 10/15/18
I would have fun. I would love and respect her as an equal.
306 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
38 / F / England
Offline
Posted 10/16/18 , edited 10/16/18
I reckon I would just eat the cantaloupe...probably share some with the goat too :-)
Vahvi 
10667 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
28 - ? - Lurking
Offline
Posted 10/16/18 , edited 10/16/18
1362 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
30 / M / New England, USA
Offline
Posted 10/16/18 , edited 10/17/18
A girlfriend, a priest with a gun, a goat and a cantaloupe? Sounds like a party.
931 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
32 / M / Scandinavia
Offline
Posted 10/17/18 , edited 10/17/18
Move into the woods and build a gingerbread house. Plot to eat Hansel and Gretel together. Light a small campfire outside a local church in the name of Satan. Join Stomp.
Posted 10/17/18 , edited 10/17/18
A spit swapping make out session
Posted 10/17/18 , edited 10/17/18
What to do to pass time for the next 30 years.
Posted 10/17/18 , edited 10/17/18
I'd take her to a ball. Every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball.
3492 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
22 / F / In your mind
Offline
Posted 10/17/18 , edited 10/18/18

jtjumper wrote:

Suppose that somehow, through events involving duct tape, a cantaloupe, a gun-wielding priest, and a runaway goat, you managed to obtain a girlfriend. What is your next goal and course of action?

Also, don't ask if this relates my current situation. The less said, the better.


3492 cr points
Send Message: GB Post
22 / F / In your mind
Offline
Posted 10/18/18 , edited 10/18/18

BushyBrowSensei wrote:

well obviously, you get rid of the priest first

and there's much more gentle things to tie you girly up with than duct tape, if she really wants you to go there


LOL
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.