So is this how it is then? My gaze froze on that intimate point of contact between locked lips; those of both I loved: my best friend, my love. They’re eyes were closed at the pleasure, arms wrapped tightly around each other. My previous thoughts of… of an early Christmas reunion disappeared like a puff of smoke. Nothing filled my mind, only that echoing, sonic-like passionate kiss between him and her. The image flashed over and over again, doubling with the scene right before my eyes.
The void turned into confusion. This couldn’t be happening… no… It was probably a misunderstanding… a trick of the light… a nightmare… SOMETHING… Just not… not this.
I wasn’t prepared at all what hit me next.
Pain. Deep, unreachable pain rushed through me. It made me stagger a bit. My mouth opened, but no sounds came out. My mind’s not working. Sharp piercing hollowness jabbed at every pore of my being. Excruciating, insufferable, agonizing pain… I swallowed, lick my dry lips.
It felt like centuries had passed, but did I really care? I only knew I’d be wallowing in this immeasurably deep and vast pool of anguish and despair for who knows how long. I just stood there… stood there, and stared. I stared, silently counting the seconds, minutes before they parted, panting and slightly breathless, lips flushed and slightly swollen.
Perhaps it was guilt… intuition, which pulled her gaze to me. That agonizingly foreign pair of emerald eyes that was sparkling with guilty pleasure seconds ago was filled with horror.
A fresh wave of torture washed through me… Why? It didn’t make sense… I could only stare deep into those bright emerald eyes, now swimming in tears, and attempt to understand… understand myself. Why did I feel… feel guilt when she saw me?
The answer was clear, but painful.
But I’m already used to that. A bit more won’t make any difference.
I loved her.
I loved her enough to let her go and allow someone else to provide her with the happiness she wants, she needs.
Perhaps this was something I couldn’t give her.
I saw them walk towards me, he leading with an arm raised as a shield; to defend her if I was to do anything to harm her.
That was enough.
I pulled the edges of my lips up, forcing myself to smile, startling the couple. Then, I about-faced, then walked out the wooden threshold.
Everything was woozy. The images around me were slightly distorted; the bartender’s calm face doubled, then tripled.
I took another swig of the biting liquid, feeling it rush down my throat, leaving a burning path in its wake. The liquor warmed my frozen body, also boggled my all-too clear mind.
This was good. It was a good barricade. My thoughts drifted far, from deserts to goats to terra-cotta, never coming to the same thing twice. This assured me, that I won’t think about that again.
I took another couple of swigs of that amber liquor, feeling its effects taking toll as the bar door’s heavy slam left an echo accordingly in my mind. I licked my lips, swallowing the last drops of that comforting drink.
Hypocrisy was the word. On TV and dramas, we always tsk at that drunken man, the one that goes to drink to hide from something. Hypocrite.
My thoughts when I was watching those shows re-ran in my brain. I knew this wasn’t a solution. I should go back, go back and tell them my decision for her happiness. I’d tell them I love the both of them, and… and congratulate them. I’d sign that state-approved form for divorce. I’d do that all…
But right now, this was enough.
...wow. ....wooow. How did u do that? Such a gr8, sad, meaningful, depessing, interesting short story!
I wonder if i cn write like that ... Heh. Keep writing!
I was feeling somewhat depressed
after realizing that I've never written from a guy's point of view
always the girl's
and the girl's is always the sad one
so here's kinda like a reversal~
Oh i c! XD I've never written from the boys point of view either. Once i'm confident enough, i will, though.
I wanna read it when u do~
Ahahah sure u cn b the first person 2 read it. Besides my editor (a.k.a friend ho volunteered 2 b my editor), of course XD
My friend claims my grammar sux and insists on proofreading for me before I post anything~
ahahahah our friends must b related in some way XD
funny you should mention dat~
we were talkin about how everyone was related~
the genetics and stuff proves it
we're all just really, really, REALLY distant relatives
.... woow ..... that means ... that ..... technically ....... ur my sister.
Long-long-long-long-long-long distant sister~
Nice to meet you, sis~
Guess the art of writing runs in the family~
Uh-huh yep, must be something in the genes XD XD (not jeans ) ...
Wait ... if i'm realated to u in some way ................
then i must b related to my teachers in some way .......................
which in turn means .......... that i must b ....... related to that really weird dorky teacher Mr Conroy ..........
Is it that feeling this love makes me a bad person?