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The Magic of the Ruby
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23 / F / My happy place -...
Posted 4/20/07 , edited 5/9/07
I'm making a story *shock* and I'd very much like it if you'd read and rate. if it was in a word doc with correct setup it'd be 17 pages.


The Ruby
By: Breana Buckley

Chapter 1

“Why do I have to do this stupid initiation? I bet those boys in the club haven’t even come here!” She stomped toward the back of the cave, gray eyes flashing.
“Normally, I be happy to do this, but this is the fifth ‘initiation’ since I asked to be in the club a week ago!” she said to herself. She stopped, she’d finally reached the back of the cave. Her eyes widened as she kneeled to see a pile of gems.
“Whoa!” She yelled as she stared at the glittery gems. They were a rainbow of colors and they seemed light up the cave. However, there was one, a red one in the very middle, that caught her eye. It was as big as the tip of her thumb and it seemed to glow the most. She picked it up and ran, half-expecting booby traps to activate. To her surprise there were none, although she didn’t stop running, just in case.
When she got outside the boys stared at her as if she were a ghost. “What?” She asked.
“Th-there were actually gems in there?!” the one named Jack asked, eyes wide. The group glared at him as if to say, “Your gonna get it now!” but it was Rose’s turn to glare.
“What exactly does that mean!?” she asked, more irritated then ever. Nervous looks appeared though out the group. “Well?!”
“Well.... you see.... we uh......don’t want you in the club... so kept giving you hard tasks and lied about the cave.......” another named Loy squeaked.
“What...?” she asked. She ran away before they could answer, but she thought she might already know.
“Oh, boy” she heard them say as she started to run. Soon she came to a tree, where she stopped and practically threw herself on the ground. Then she remembered the gem.
“What did they mean when they said they didn’t know there were gems there? There were so many!” she thought. She sat there and let thoughts rush though her head for a while until she saw a shadow on her. She looked up.
“Hello,” said a boy she’d never seen before. He had blonde hair and blue eyes that looked mature, wise even; although, his words said otherwise: “you look sad, is it ’cause you stole that?” he pointed at the red gem.
“No-” she managed to squeeze in before he cut her off.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” he said.
“But I didn’t steal it, I found it.” she said somewhat annoyed.
“Oh,” he said, “well, than why are you sad?” she thought a minute, “Is it okay to tell him..............sure, why not?” So, she did, every last detail. When she finished he jumped up seemly uninterested in the mystery of it all.
“I know what‘ll make you feel better!” before she could answer he added “We’ll start our own club!”
She looked at him like he was an idiot. “I don’t even know your name!” she frowned.
“Really? I’m Jared, who ’re you?”
“Rose.” she answered. “Jared huh?” she thought to her self.

“How’d I get myself into this mess?’’ Rose groaned, “Though Jared being pushy.” she decided under her breath. She replayed the events of that morning: He yelled “GET UP! HEY, ARE YOU SLEEPING?!” until she got up, got ready and got out of her small, lonely little cottage’s door. He had continued by telling-no, convincing her, or at least trying to, that they must make a tree house for their new club, he then grabbed her wrist and dragged her to a dead-looking tree he said was the best tree in the entire world.
So, now she was standing there looking up at the tree that towered over her. Doubting very much that she’d get a answer that made any sense at all she asked, “Why’s this tree so special?”
The answer was: “See how big it is? Well that’s because it once was a nesting place for griffins, and eventually their magic wore off on the tree and made it grow-that is until a dragon burned it. But, enough magic wore off on it that it’d live forever-despite appearances, or at least what my grandpa said.” he grinned.
They started to work, somehow managing to do a lot that day. Then they finished the rest though the week. On the way home the day it was finished Jared said, “ Hey Rose, tomorrow come to the tree house. Bring stuff to decorate with!”
“’Kay” was the halfhearted reply.

The next morning, as promised Rose brought stuff to decorate with. She’d brought flowers, a little stool, and a crate of books, Jared had helped of course. She’d brought something else too; the gem.
After everything was set up, Jared left to get some things from his house. Rose took the gem out of her pocket, “You’re so mysterious, you know that?” she said.
Suddenly, a voice said, “You have chosen your path, young one. You are the chosen one by right, by talent, and by me.” it said.
“What? Huh?” poor Rose asked, utterly and completely confused.
“Jared will tell you” the woman said as she faded away.

Chapter 2

“Jared will tell me?! JARED?! What?! How?!” these thoughts clouded her mind. Then it clicked. “When you think about it I know nothing about him, we did meet as if on cue and ANYONE, fool or not should be at least a little puzzled about the gem...”
She sighed, looking at the gem, a minute earlier it had appeared on the ground, hot.
“I’m back!” Jared yelled, but when he saw the look of curiosity on her face he added, “oh, I guess you found out already, huh?” When she nodded he sighed, “I suppose you’ll want an explanation then?” Jane nodded again. A look of dread and annoyance spread across Jared’s face.
Suddenly, his face and body became older-looking, “No need to stay that way any more” he said, “Now then, if you interrupt ONCE I will STOP, and there goes your explanation. I have to do this every 500 years so it’s become a chore.”
“All right. At the beginning of the age of humans, there were evil beings terrorizing all humanity. No one could stand up to them. But then a girl, your age in fact, stepped up to defeat them, having no family or friends. It was a fierce battle; it lasted 10 days and 10 nights. But in the end the girl could only seal them away. Every 500 years they erupt from their prison to take revenge for locking them up. So, it’s because of this that we choose a ‘chosen one’ for that time. After many cycles so many ‘heroes’ were chosen from your ancestors that it was decided that it would be a birthright, that is, unless there is one who can pick up the sacred gem of Talenma.” He pointed at the gem in Rose’s hand “For a ‘chosen one’ it’s the ultimate power source and weapon-of magic that is. But, it chooses its master, and it is picky. They don’t necessarily have too be a ‘chosen one’, but if your able to use it you become a candidate, in case there is no successor. Anyway, this time it’s you, so we have to train you for a while.”
Rose sighed, “Will you be accompanying me?”
“Only for basic knowledge, after that some one will take over. The only way I fight is with words, and that won’t exactly help you. By the way, ‘chosen one’ is a nickname-in a sense. What even common magic folk know you as is Lady Mage. I think I forgot to mention that the ‘heroes’ were and are women.”
“You did.” Rose said sourly.

“You’re slow! 100 more!” Jared said. They had been training for hours this morning; like they had been for the last month and a half, just doing push-ups all morning, from six-thirty to twelve because Rose kept messing up.
“Geez, don’t you think sitting on my back for this is... I don’t know... hard?!” she snapped, “And anyway, how are push-ups going to help me?! I thought you don’t need strength for magic!”
“SILENCE! Body. Mind. Sprit. They are all ONE, to improve one is to improve ALL. Being able to cast a spell with no strength is hogwash! Who ever told you that must not know a siren from a mermaid!”
There was a sudden screech like a hawk‘s.
“Good gods above is that a phoenix?!” he cried, surprised, a emotion Rose’d never seen him express. But, she didn’t get to soak it in because she was as surprised as he was, if not more. Phoenixes were supposed to be sealed in the realm of immortals, where they could support creators like phoenixes. She’d thought everyone knew, but apparently this phoenix didn’t.
“Oh wow... did they breach the wall of the realm of immortals?!” asked Rose. There was a long pause.
“That’s impossible!” He stated, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself rather than Rose.

After it left, Jared said, “well! It’s good to see the world hasn’t become totally predictable......I guess.”
“I agree.” said a voice that belonged to neither Jared nor Rose. They turned as a slender figure clad in a long black robe stepped out of the shadows.
“Who are you?” they asked in unison.
“......well since you 2 won’t be around for much longer i guess could tell you.....”-the thought made Rose jump- “.....It’s Famoria.” she glared at Rose, their eyes met; Famoria‘s violet eyes to Rose‘s gray ones. Famoria‘s eyes seemed cold, but they seemed pained and lonely too.
Famoria looked away with silted eyes and then, after a couple of seconds, threw off her robe, unveiling her long black hair that had purple strips, slender figure, and made her dark violet eyes more visible. She was wearing a long black dress.
Suddenly, she faced her again, this time her eyes were fierce and her teeth were barred, like an angry dog.
It’s almost like she was having a second thought... For a moment anyway... Rose thought.
“DIE!” shouted Famoria, who had just pulled out a knife and was running toward her.

Chapter 3

“EEEEEKKK” Rose squealed. Suddenly, there was a punching sound, a cough, and something splattered on Rose. She opened one eye to discover that someone had punched Famoria in the stomach right before she hit Rose. Famoria jumped back to where she’d started her charge. Rose felt the place where had something splattered on her, she hoped it wasn’t blood. She did feel wetness and a look at her fingers confirmed her fears, it was blood. But in this time, Famoria turned and ran.
“Wait!” cried Rose. The man turned and bowed blocking her sight. He handed her an envelope and vanished, leaving only a cloud of smoke. She sighed and opened the envelope.
“What a jolly day today is” she thought. It was heavy, there was a bag inside with 15 gold coins; it was enough to eat lobster for 3 months! Although, Rose would save it. There was also a card inside. It said:

Dear Mage,

Firstly, I am sorry. You will have to face many dangers because of your destiny. Secondly, I do not know any thing about you, so, on a separate piece of paper please write down all your measurements so I know what you look like. From height to hair. Please also tell me about yourself, I thank you in advance.
Queen Aoia

“There! That should do it!” Rose said. Her page said:

Dear Queen Aoia,

I’m 14 years old. My height is 5.4. My hair is long, strate, and brown with red streaks. My eyes are gray. My race? Elfen of course.

I’m fairly interested in astrology and magic, I love animals as I live in Overt Wood, not far from Mezore. I can’t wait to go to the capital, as I do not know any elves, and villagers treat me ...differently. But although that is the case, the woodland creators are my friends, so I’m not lonely.

--Rose Quorosa

After re-reading to the parts concerning her race she frowned, remembering the looks of discomfort that always appeared on the townspeople's faces when she visited the shops in town. It was that and many other signs of the people’s dislike for her that led her to believe it was the reason she was unwanted in that club. Still; she was proud of her heritage. She sighed and started brushing her hair and putting on her gem. Jared had just made a necklace out of it for her. After that she said a magic word and sent the letter, a trick Jared had taught her.
There was a knock on her bedroom door, “Are you ready yet?” asked Jared.
“Ready for what?” said Rose, suspecting Jared had forgotten to tell her something again.
“I guess that’s a no then?” he sighed “Your Instructor is here, pack your bags, but come down first, he wants to meet you.”
Rose sighed, “Please try not to spoil my good mood next time.” The only reply was a chuckle and the sound of fading footsteps.
When he was gone she put on one of her best dresses, it was an earthy green, sleeveless dress that reached her knees.
When she entered the room the first thing she noticed was the stranger. He had short copper curly hair and green eyes. Of course Jared hid a smile after noticing the abnormal outfit, though she didn‘t even notice, being captivated by the boy‘s green eyes. His eyes seemed to dance; to be naive, they looked as if they‘d seen much less compared to Jared‘s tired out -but nice- old ones.
There was an awkward silence. When Rose noticed this she tried to think of what to say, but was at a loss.
Jared, who’d thought of something said, “Are you packed yet?”
“Ah! No, I’m not, I’ll go do that” she answered as she shakily pointed at the door, pressing her lips.

The hay cart started its shaky journey toward the capital of Elves, Tssubasa, where Rose’s race wasn’t rare, or even uncommon, and ‘The land where magic blooms once more’. Or, at least, that’s what it was called, because magic everywhere had dried out like a dry well and it only ever came back to the capital of elves.
“Say, why are we riding in this thing? Shouldn’t we be riding in a regular carriage or on horses or at least our own hay cart?” asked Rose.
“I’m sorry you can’t arrive in Cinderella’s carriage but-” he started, but Rose cut him off, “That’s not what I meant and you know it!” she said in a somewhat loud voice, and when she realized that she had done so she sighed and said in a low tone, “Sorry, but...”
Roi sighed back at Rose, closed his eyes and said, “As I was saying, things are a little...hectic down there and you weren’t expected for a while, so we couldn’t really prepare much of anything.”
The way he said ‘hectic’ made Rose feel uneasy and tense, so the bad habit she thought she was over kicked in. Singing when nervous.

Beauty, beauty of the land,
Even the poorest would you lend a hand,
The land of my mother, and her mother too,
And now the land of me and you,
The land of our most wonderous gift,
And the land where no little lamb falls adrift
Now and forever this home’s yours and mine
Treat it well and give a good sign.

Almost before she finished he said, “Where did you learn that song?!”
“Promise you won’t laugh?” she asked.
“Promise.” he swore with his right hand raised, though the way he‘d asked stopped her from being relaxed.

“Birds?! You learned it from birds?!” Roi exclaimed.
“Yes...birds” Rose replied.
Roi could tell that she was uncomfortable so he said, “Nothing wrong with it, just, I just realized you’re a vocal type magician, and it’s rare to see, or be, one.”
Rose searched her memory, trying to remember if she’d been taught the types of magicians.
“Oh yeah! I remember!” she said, “There are three types of magician, Vocal, Circle, and Physical. But, if I‘m a Vocal type then that means my spells will have to be spoken, sung or read from a book. Plus, they’ll be hard to make accurate.”
“True, but there are good points as well. For example, you can make up your own spells. You also get to decide the speed and power of your spells, depending on what and how fast you speak or sing.” he said, “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First comes alchemy.”
Rose yawned. “No,” she said, “first comes sleep. 'Night.” She plopped onto the pillowy straw and dreamt of farms and horses and the countryside.

Chapter 4

“Rose! Rose, wake up! We’re here!” Roi grinned.
Rose sighed and got up, “Where exactly is ‘here’?” she asked.
“Forson! And just in time for the Spring Fest too!” Roi answered.
“Spring Fest...?What’s that?” Rose asked.
“You don’t know?” Roi asked back, clearly surprised.
“It’s not like I’ve gone, to this one or any one for that matter.” Rose replied.
“Really?! Why not?” Roi asked, perplexed.
Rose starred at him as if to say, ‘ I can’t believe you just asked that’ and jumped of the cart.
“Oi! Roi!” someone called. A plump middle-aged woman jogged over.
“Hiya Roi!” she said, then she noticed Rose and added “Who might this be?”
Roi opened his mouth to say something but Rose cut him off, “Rose... It’s Rose.”
“I see, then Rose it is. Well I’m Janey. Why don’ts you go inside, Rose. My house is the cottage right ova there.” She pointed to it, and said, “Me an’ Roi here gotta unload the hay, it it’s gonna be used tonight ya know!”
When Rose was gone Janey said, “What’s wrong dear? You look confused.”
“Rose said that she’s never been to a festival before, I wonder why is all.”
The Janey sighed and frowned, “You’ve been raised in Tssubasa so I ain’t surprised you don’t know but, ‘round here, elves are as rare as they come. In fact, she’s probably the only one you’ll see ‘til Jonesburg an’ that’s mighty far.”
“So....?” Roi asked.
Janey started unloading hay. “So, she’s treated different. An’ not in a good way either, more like....more like a disgusted way, if you know what I mean. There’s a reason Tssubasa’s swormin’ with elves ya know.”
“Whoa, who’d of thought.” said Roi, a little upset. He started unloading as well.
Janey unloaded more hay. “Mm-hmm, an’ if I’m right, ‘er social skills ain’t the best either.” she said in between scoops.
“Why?” replied Roi.
“Well, she was livin’ in the woods when you came for ‘er, right?” Janey asked next.
“I guess, but......why?”
“Well, ya don’t normally see anybody in the wood when a town’s a couple a’ miles away, right? An’ when she’s treated like some kind a’ monster, do ya really think she’s got people to chat with? Plus, that bein’ the case, do ya think she‘ll go to town enough to meet some friends?”
Roi thought for a minute, “I guess...” he said. He was feeling worse and worse as he remembered the awkward silence when they met, and how Rose always seemed standoffish to Roi.
The lady chuckled, “Don’t feel bad. It jus’ means we otta make this festival fun for ‘er!”
“Yea!” Roi said.
They finished the chore in silence.

Rose closed the door behind her and started to look around. The small cottage felt so warm and cozy that the warmth and kindness absorbed within it seemed to suffocate her and it made her uncomfortable. The brick walls were covered with pictures, a small fireplace’s top was covered in pictures as well. There was a stiff cloth doll among the pictures on the fireplace, and it seemed to stick out. Rose couldn‘t help but feel like it didn‘t belong there. There was a doorway to a small kitchen on the right and a somewhat rickety staircase directly on her left, next to the fireplace. Suddenly, she heard a group of loud voices. Out of nowhere, the door swung open, and Rose was shoved to the floor.
“Sorry, miss” said a child from behind her. She turned around to see three children, a young girl, most likely five, a eight-year-old boy, and a eleven-year-old boy, all wearing muddy clothes. It seemed to Rose that by the voice, the middle child was the one that apologized.
“No, not at all!” said Rose politely.
Just then, the door opened again, this time it was Roi and Janey.
“Oh, well then, if we all together, guess it’s time to introduce. Children, this is Rose.” she smiled. Rose gave a weak wave and plastered a small smile on her face.
“ An’ Rose, these are my children. Meet Jesse,” she pointed at the girl, “John,” she pointed at the middle child, “an’ Michel.” she moved her finger toward the eldest.
“Hello!” said Jesse, and put a huge grin on her face. But, instead of smiling back, Rose flinched. This whole experience seemed a lot like a so-called ‘family’ setting and Rose didn’t know how to feel. Her stomach was doing flip-flops and shivers went down her spine. She’d never had a family, and her animal friends couldn’t even understand why people stuck together for such a long, much less how to react.
“For now,” she thought, “I’ll just put on a smile.”

The cool fresh night air that should have surrounded Rose was replaced by the steamy aroma of people, food, fire, and incense. It was loud, flute’s music crowded in the air and there were buzzing conversations and laught. The crowds didn’t make Rose feel any better either. She hated crowds. Running children bumped into her. Friends were walking in droves either in a row blocking the pathway, or in a stopped circle in the middle of the pathway. Rose pushed away from them all and climbed on a rock far enough away that the sounds and smells felt distant.
“I guess I’m not the festival type.......I’m hating this so much......” she said as she felt the cool breeze.
“Rose!” some one called from behind her, “Why are you here?! The festival is over there!”
Rose turned to see Roi with a concerned look on his face, “I noticed.” she said.
Roi’s expression deepened, “Then why aren’t you over there?”
“Because I discovered a deep hatered of festivals.” Rose replied. She could tell Roi was irritated, but so was she.
He opened his mouth to say something but Rose cut him off, “ ‘The villagers worked hard on this festival so at least go for a while!’, right? The answer is no. No no no. Call me what you will but NO.”
“FINE!” he yelled and stomped away.
Rose felt horrible, but mad all the same. She turned back around to see a black cat staring at her. Its piercing stare gave Rose chills, but, it felt vaguely familiar. She realized its strangely purple eyes were glaring at her, not staring.
“How is that possible?” she thought, “Cats never glare! They prefer to hiss....!”
The cat meowed at Rose, but even though it was a ‘meow’, it wasn’t cat tongue. The strange cat scurried away.
“Wait!” Rose cried in cat. But the cat’s ears didn’t prick up like they should, and would, if it were any other cat. It sped up, so Rose couldn’t catch up and lost it.

Rose awoke just before dawn. She got dressed and ready. As she started to brush her hair, there was a knock on the door.
“Yes?” Rose asked.
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30 / M / Cheese land (aka...
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
Well it's not the kind of story that I would normally read, but I'm glad to see that you can spell and use proper grammar, unlike most people. I'm also glad that you didn't just seem to pull this out of your butt and post it just for kicks, like all other stories in the forums.

I doubt this thread will stay up, but nice work. Keep at it.
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Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
Keep up the good effort, even though I'm not ever gonna read this
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31 / M / Japan
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
^ Holy cow, who the heck is gonna read all that???

Not that I'm being an ass, but I don't think many people will give it the light of day because it's too long to put in a thread. How about you post it up somewhere, like in deviantART and place a link for it in your profile? And I agree with Snap, this thread might get locked soon.
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32 / M / Classified inform...
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
i dun mean to be mean but the magic of ruby is a lame title btw i din even read your story its too long.... and are you trying to be a writer or something if yes..... u better give up and stop writing stories
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23 / F / My happy place -...
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
IT IS A FIRST DRAFT . I know it's crappy! It's supposed to be long It's gonna be a novel...

In any case ty for at least commenting. Now I know what to work on.

Um....what's deviantART? Sounds neat.
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26 / M / U.K
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
uhhh...she is 13 you know. What were you guys expecting? Catch-22? Man, I looked back on some of the stuff I wrote when I was 13 and some of it just makes me cringe >.< So don't worry if your first attempt isn't War and Peace. Hell, I'm only 15 now, just a 2 year difference, but it really *is* a difference. So keep writing. It'll come along.
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22 / F / SDF-1
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
You need to work on your grammar. And for fantasy stories, they can either be good or UTTERLY and INSANLY LAME. Its a thin line.
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26 / M / U.K
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07

mushroomjay wrote:

Jozephz wrote:

uhhh...she is 13 you know. What were you guys expecting? Catch-22? Man, I looked back on some of the stuff I wrote when I was 13 and some of it just makes me cringe >.< So don't worry if your first attempt isn't War and Peace. Hell, I'm only 15 now, just a 2 year difference, but it really *is* a difference. So keep writing. It'll come along.

Age is NO excuse. In fact you have a larger ability for creativity as a younger person.

Bullcrap. So now your saying than an eight year old could be better than an experianced 20 year old because age is no excuse and they have a larger creative ability? Creativity means nothing without the needed writing ability and experiance to back it up. Practice is needed and the younger you are (generally) the more practice you need. Of course, there are novels written by young people (although hardly ever younger than 15) but these are rare and most writers need time to mature before they are skilled enough to write a novel. At 13 years old it is perfectly exceptable, in fact, it is the norm, to write something below par. Everything, including creativity, needs fine tuning for it to be at its best.

Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
please no more storyies or books on cr. write the entire book then get it published and then we'll read it and make threads about
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30 / M / Cheese land (aka...
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
^I agree with you. I've been planning/writing a book for 12 years now (of course, only the last four or so count because I was a stupid little kid when I started) but you don't see me posting my ideas.

Don't get me wrong, I've got no problems with anyone writing. In fact, I encourage it, just put it on another site where it would be more appropriate.
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
i read some of it, it wasnt bad knowing your 13. Keep on writing stories
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
thank you snap. i would encourage writing a book but not here,geezum crow it takes up quite a bit of space if you ask me
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23 / F / My happy place -...
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07

mushroomjay wrote:

MewMewcherry01 wrote:

IT IS A FIRST DRAFT . I know it's crappy! It's supposed to be long It's gonna be a novel...

In any case ty for at least commenting. Now I know what to work on.

Um....what's deviantART? Sounds neat.

Devian Tart is where retards share their shitty ass drawings, don't take advice, and continue to suck at everything they do.

Also you can do gay poetry about cutting a crying, and shitty stories.

As well, if you "know" it's crappy, why post it? IF YOU DON'T WANT HELPFUL CRITICISM: GTFO.

As well, I love long stories. I just don't like boring generic stories.

Jozephz wrote:

uhhh...she is 13 you know. What were you guys expecting? Catch-22? Man, I looked back on some of the stuff I wrote when I was 13 and some of it just makes me cringe >.< So don't worry if your first attempt isn't War and Peace. Hell, I'm only 15 now, just a 2 year difference, but it really *is* a difference. So keep writing. It'll come along.

Age is NO excuse. In fact you have a larger ability for creativity as a younger person.

Ummmm....mushroomjay? i DO like criticium, its just......i no matter what i say, it still bugs me for some reason

and.... i WOULD have posted some where else, had i known such a place existed

that being said, im still not sure about deviantART but...... I do NOT think that you should go telling people that their drawings are 'shity assed'! It takes a lot to post your works in a place where millions of people will see them(NOT refuring to me, i don't really care)! I don't mean to be rude but, can YOU do better? Also, drawing, writing, ect. ect. is a TALENT. It has NOTHING to do with age.
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24 / F / Somewhere Over th...
Posted 4/22/07 , edited 4/22/07
i think itz pretty good 4 such a long story, im a pretty bad writer....prob awesome compared 2 what i might write
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