Post Reply The Story of the Ocean
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29 / F / Turkey
Posted 10/19/09 , edited 1/13/10

The Story of the Ocean

Waves were washing the shore
With the same ancient patience
As they did for thousand years

And she sat there beside the water
Her eyes fixed on a spot on horizon
Imitating the vast patience
Of the gleaming ocean

She had sat there for so long
She couldn’t remember when it all started
For her long story, had never been stated

The ocean had recognized her
And so it approached timidly
Ashamed for it had nothing to bring to her
One more time, no comfort or no remedy

Yet she sat in silence
Her gaze dropped to her feet
Where the ocean washed them quietly
As to show it’s condolence

Sparkles on the surface of the ocean
Reflected in her deep green eyes
As her wet gaze searched the ocean over
To see something she had missed
She might have missed
She must have missed

There was nothing else to see
Only the eternally torturing beauty

And then the ocean receded
It could no longer touch her
For the ocean itself, never knew that much depth
Never saw that much sorrow on the Earth’s surface
It’d never hear that much pain, it heard in her silence

So it flowed back to the vastness
Until she was devoured by the darkness
But the ocean knew she was still waiting
For something which was never coming


The ocean rushed back to the shore
Carrying the little object carefully
It had never once for sure
Treated something that tenderly

And there she was, lying on the sand
Unaware of the ocean’s gift
Waves touched her out-stretched hand
Waiting for her to sit up
And to see what the ocean had brought

But then, the ocean saw
Her eyes, still fixed on the horizon
Despair froze the ocean
For it had recognized her stare
From all that men drowned in its water

Her eyes were still blazed with sparkle
Yet the depth had gone
Only two glassy orbs
Showing her last emotion
A desperate yearning, for consolation

The little bottle, lightly touched her hand
The sun shone generously on the paper inside
And there they both were
The thing she waited all her life
Stood inches away from her fingers
And yet,
It was too late, to make a difference...

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26 / F / ~*heaven*~
Posted 10/24/09 , edited 10/25/09
OMG!!!! this poem at the beginning was so nice, but as i read all the way to the end it was soo sad!! TT^TT poor girl!! D; this poem is greatly written elanra-chan!! >O< keep it up!! dont stop expressing your creativeness!! the only thing that was wrong was this line:
"The son shone gracefully on the paper inside"

son should be sun ;D
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29 / F / Turkey
Posted 10/24/09 , edited 10/25/09
thank you so much, for commenting and showing my mistake.

its a bit long I am sorry about that! yet you still read it.

thanx again!
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26 / F / ~*heaven*~
Posted 10/24/09 , edited 10/25/09
your welcome!!^-^ the longer, the more details and more interesting~ ;D no problem!! continue your skills ;]
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24 / F / Canada
Posted 1/11/10 , edited 1/11/10
OMG!!! It is such an amazing poem, it is sad but I like sad things :P
Please keep it up!!!
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Posted 1/11/10 , edited 1/12/10
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F / World Within the...
Posted 1/12/10 , edited 1/13/10
Awesome poem! I could practically see the entire scene laid out in front of me... the end was sad... but that brought a real sense of beauty to the poem.

One typo I noticed (I didn't really look too hard, this one just caught my attention.) "out-stretched" is just "outstretched" (4th last paragraph). And... err... I find it difficult to see how one's eyes could "blaze[] with sparkle", but yeah, I got the gist of the meaning from it ^^

Really lovely. The image is quite befitting too.
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23 / F / On chair, decidin...
Posted 1/13/10 , edited 1/13/10
It reminds me of what i sometimes think when i go to the beach =D I'm looking for answers, when i go there. Sometimes they're meaningful and sometimes they're not, like where i put my inspiration or what happened to my favorite pencil DX


1) There are a lot of poems about the ocean. A lot of the lot describe the ocean as an unforgiving beast, cruel and harsh and cold. But this poem completely contradicts that =D And i like it. This ocean is uncertain and scared and gentle.

2) The girl staring out towards to ocean, it's actually quite depressing. You picture it in your mind: dark landscape and green-blue water and a girl sitting on pale cream sand and staring, still, huddled around herself and lonely and isolated. It's very, very heart wrenching. Maybe that's what you wanted? Maybe not? I don't know =)

3) Overall, i think this poem is awesome You make sure to keep on writing, kay?? >_<

(And i never knew what was in the bottle. Sometimes i like the mystery and sometimes i think it should be revealed).
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