Gone with the Sand
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28 / M / In my country, my...
Posted 1/25/10 , edited 1/25/10
The world is tainted gray, thick clouds hover the sky. I feel myself trap inside of those black and white movies I used to watch decades ago. I’m seated by the seashore, my mind astray, vacantly staring at the vast horizon before me - the ocean. I close my eyes and welcome the wind's soothing touch through my pale skin, hear the roaring sound of waves, feel my bare feet on the cold sand. I am alone and lonely on this desolate piece of land, but I like it. Throughout my lifelong journey tranquility had always relieved me from boundless discomforts, and in time, came to acknowledge it as my sole friend. I look back at the miserable life I’ve led. I guess living was worth wasting time, even with nothing.

I open my eyes. Hours have past, or minutes, or perhaps mere seconds, although none seem to change, as if time stood still, every moment concealed by perpetual grayness. Along with time, the purpose of my coming is also lost in the absence of my thoughts, but right now all reason burns down to nothing. My soul is content to just sit here and wait... wait? Ah, yes, I am waiting. For who? For what? It really doesn’t matter because I’m in no doubt certain, for my instinct convinced me, that if I continue to stay here, the answer would soon return my way. So I’ve waited and waited with nothing more than my unwavering patience.

Finally it struck me as I get a glimpse upon a distant spec of light peeking from beyond; I came here to see the sun. I stand in eager anticipation despite seeing this ball of fire countless times from movies and pictures, nonetheless, yearned to witness it with my own eyes for the first and last time. My clothes sway with the heavy winds, I wear white long-sleeved shirt with its collar and wrist button off, and simple black slacks I’ve kept for years. The wind caresses my never-growing, never-shortening hair, and my never-aging young face, an image permanently engraved through the course of my life.

And then there it is, little by little conquering the gray scenery, putting colors in their rightful places. A beam of light cuts through the heavens, slowly leaking blue unto the lifeless sky, clouds disperse and give way for the upcoming sun, tides loosen their anger and become gentle, flock of birds fly across in symmetrical formation, the dead sea shimmer bright like sparkling diamonds. Once the sun ultimately liberated itself from the ocean’s reach, a nostalgic sensation absorbs me, a feeling lost somewhere along my past. I feel weightless; my burdens have discharged as if I, at long last, am freed from this cursed world’s curse.

Spellbound, I watch the sun spread life to the world as it takes life away from me. “Beautiful…” I can’t help but mumble. The breathtaking evolution that mesmerizes my every thought permits me from noticing my body gradually degrade to bits. I feel nauseous all of a sudden, my immeasurable strength is being reduced to the frailty of an old man, and as I try to steady my posture I crumble towards the ground with my knees and arms still fighting to stand. My body burning, I am in pain and despair. With my remaining ounce of might I lift myself up and take one last view of the sun, that I, for unknown reasons, would risk everything to grasp. I spread my arms open as my body burn to ashes and become one with the sand beneath, leaving no evidence of my irrelevant existence.
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86 / F
Posted 3/30/10 , edited 3/31/10
It's so vivid.
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