Post Reply Falling In Love
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Posted 3/31/10 , edited 3/31/10
So I haven't written on here in so long... Man, I miss you guys. Something terrible happened to me a while ago. Rose-chan knows about it and I just didn't tell anyone else but me God and a few select n'viduals. I guess I got depressed or something but I just stopped where I was at with God and looked behind me at my past, at my wrong doings, and all the bad things in life.

I started doing things that I should never do... and I... I don't know why I did them.

I felt lost, like literally I had no where to go from then. I kept crying and I didn't know why. I prayed to God but I didn't think he would answer. I just lost all faith. I just thought that he wasn't important anymore and I'm ashamed of that. I got lost in the world. I let go of my daddy's hand in the middle of New York or [insert very populated and dangerous city here]!!!! O_O It was scary!!!! I wasn't myself.

I ran here and there and goodness gravy it was scary. I didn't feel like God would come and get me, until I figured it out!
God sent me a moment where time and life just stopped in a way for me.

One day on my way to another boring school day (as you all can relate too) I was listening to the radio. My mom is also Christian so she like listening to christian stations but she's more into the oldies of the Gospel music, but she also liked a few catchy songs too from our age. Then a song came on:

It's oughta be...
More like falling in love,
than something to believe in.
More like losing my heart,
than giving my allegiance

It's like I'm falling in love. <3

DO YOU KNOW HOW PROFOUND THIS IS!!!!! If I was alone in a room with nothing but a radio and dead silence, that would be just like my situation. A dead, cold room with nothing but darkness, smoke and fog. Then the radio played a song a song that resonated into my head through my lungs through whatever else stands in the way and into my heart. Man if I was in that room right now, it would be bright and white (not whitey tightys) awesome because I fell in love with God.

Before that I was just like, "God can save us from death because he loves us and we can love him back" and all. I mean that's good, but now that I've moved on to this side of the spectrum, I see that not a lot of us "love" God the way he might want us to love him.

A few days ago, I completely surrendered my heart (FOR SURE, and without regret) to God. I told him to do whatever he wants with it. I told him to exercise it. Stretch it, make it lose a few unwanted pounds, cut off some blemishes, mend it and all. So far, he's working over time in the forges. <3

Guys, I'm so happy that I am NOW and FOREVER a Born Again Christian. I apologize for not knowing or even wanting to look in my heart for the truth. I love you all. <3 God Bless. *heart attack: love overdose*

angelmew <3

p.s. btw the song is More Like Falling in Love by Jason Gray
Posted 4/1/10 , edited 4/1/10
hi this is momo i am Ratman's niese. he said you are finally growing up
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Posted 4/23/10 , edited 4/23/10
Thanks Momo-chan. Means a lot to me.
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