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Going Nowhere Fast

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Posted 4/3/10 , edited 4/18/10
Going Nowhere Fast

By Koko (:
--Contains bad words. Cx

Chp1:: Finally Out

I had just came out of jail for a fight I was included in outside of a bar, I swear to you, it was only in self defense. But did the cops believe that? Hell no.

The damn cops are shit.

I knocked the guy out cold on the street, I didn't care. He deserved it talking shit about my dead Mom. Some idiot called the cops on me and when I heard the sirens approach, I ran.

Probably shouldn't have. But I did.

When I was finally let out, I saw the crappy white house again that I was forced to live in with my dad. Pigs could have been living in it with the condition it was in now, we didn't have a maid to do our cleaning. And we both lacked patience to clean. We didn't even have a broom. I don't work. I'm too lazy for that. My dad pays all the bills while I think of ways to kill my boredom.

He grounded me after jail, bullshit isn't it? I was just in jail and you think grounding me would effect me.

Uh, no.

I was on the couch on the verge of sleep, the tv was going on about a shooting that happened whenever ago. I wasn't paying attention. I could hear my already hysterical dad in the kitchen, mumbling about how we were going to live on the streets soon unless a miracle happens.

Wasn't my problem... He had a crappy job with an ass for a boss.

I zoned out from the news anchor, falling asleep on the couch with my hands behind my head. I don't know how long I was asleep for, but I heard an annoying sound ringing in my head.

So. Annoying.

“Fuck.” I woke up, realizing it was the phone ringing.

“Answer it!” I yelled at my dad, -who I thought was still in the kitchen freaking over the bills on the table- but wasn't.

I sighed angrily and got up, tripping on the blanket that I left carelessly fall to the ground. There was a few play boy magazines left around the floor, that I probably haven't touched or looked at since I was in jail.

I answered the phone and grew irritated at the annoying person on the other end of the phone, advertising some crap about, “a better internet connection for your-!”

I slammed the phone into the wall, stalking toward the couch again and throwing myself on it again. Wherever my dad was now, he wasn't around. I searched under the cushions of the couch where I stuffed a spare cigarette I had hidden from my dad, I didn't care what condition it was in.

I needed to smoke. I needed that sweet nicotine taste.

I shouted in victory when I found it, also finding a lighter tucked secretly inside the cushions as well, I lighted up my cig and drew it to my lips.
I exhaled the smoke, leaving the chemical taste on my tongue.

They didn't even let you fuckin' smoke in jail. What a withdraw I had! But I had to give props to my pops, he bailed me out. Old fart probably begged one of his co-workers for some dough or something.

I really should stop smoking and help him out, but what could I do? My only support was the cigarette I was smoking.

My life was going nowhere, fast.

Chp2:: An Ordinary Person

Today I had to wake up early for school. Another alarm clock busted with my fist.

It would feel weird coming back… knowing I got a criminal record on me. Though it would give the guys in school that wanna fight me a reason not to test me. And… unfortunately it would also drive away the girls.

My dad was unusually quiet today and didn’t nag me about really anything. Which wasn’t like him. I would at least expect a, “don’t get into a fight the first day coming back!”

Good thing I had that gum to cover the smell of my breath, and good thing for that air freshener too. He would never suspect a thing. He was getting old, so I don’t think he would have noticed anything either way. I rode the bus, the DAMN annoying buss with tards who looked at me like they wanted to pick a fight. And I would, too. If I see any of them give me a look again…

I tried to stay calm, ignore them and look out the window as the scenery passed before me, it bored me after a while so I put in my head phones in my ears on full blast. Enjoying some hard rock music that drowned out noise on the bus.

When I got off the bus, the school was before me. Some of my friends that I barely remembered gathered around me, seemingly interesting in seeing me out.

“Well well, looks who’s back! Never thought I’ll see your face again around here, Johnny poo!”

That was Alex, he had always been the dumb ass of the group, doing stupid things after another… where the hell did he pick up calling me, “Johnny poo” anyway?

It was Johnny. End of story.

There were no girls in our group of four, of course, I only wanted the girls from those play boy magazines. But all the girls in my school were ugly. So I gave them no acknowledgment. We had a conversation about how life was in jail, they all laughed when I mentioned the scenario about dropping your soap.

We sat on the stairs of the school like we owned it, students walking past us to get to class early. Those were the nerds by the way. Even though I was gone for a while, I still knew how things worked.

Some chick was passing out fliers about joining her club, though everyone refused. My friends and I laughed in her face.

It was then when she came out of her car.

She looked too ordinary, but she caught my eye. She was dressed un-attractively, with knee high socks and glasses. Her pony tail swayed with the wind as she ran up the steps in a hurry to get to class.

“Yo, checking the nerd out?” Jean, another one of my friends remarked, while at the same time the girl passing us, I saw a glimpse of her bangs covering her eyes, she wore a frown when I saw her.

I saw sure she heard his little comment…

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, nerds are my new thing. They turn me on.” I joked sarcastically.

Chp3:: Perceptive

It was nothing but a miracle I didn’t get detention by any of the teachers. I mouthed off to some of them, but they either ignored me and got back to teaching with a huff, or just plain decided to not to have anything to do with my attitude. I was a Senior in high school, and I was sure I wouldn’t graduate- I didn’t think I had enough credits... I slacked.

After school was over, my crew headed into the parking lot. We chilled there. Owen, -another friend in our group- got out a carton of cigs and passed it around to each of us.

How does he always get away with them during school hours. No idea.

He offered to take me home in his car, since I lost my license after being jailed... I refused, watching each of them drive out of the parking lot and go home. Damn. I was kind of jealous. But I didn’t want to rely on them for my transportation needs. And there was no way the bus was a choice any more.

I could walk, it was a decently warm day outside. After I was finished with my cig, I threw it to the ground and stomped on it, walking away. But now I was beginning to get back into my old habits, smoking –you don’t even want to know- number of cartons a day.

As I was walking past the school building, I saw that girl again reading a book under a big green tree that provided her shade.

She would tuck the hair that got in her face behind her ear a lot, the wind would blow softly, making her skirt lift up. A few leaves from the tree would fall onto the pages of her book, she would pick them up and place them in her palm, waiting for the wind to blow them away.

“What the hell?”

Why was I being so damn perspective? Like I cared about her. She was nobody. She was the shadow, as I was the sun. In every way superior.

She looked up at me after a moment, her eyes were big and surprised, brown eyes. They met my dark eyes, but then I scowled and looked away. She stood up so fast as her mom called out her name from her car, I was guessing that was her ride home.


I thought to myself, what a good name for a nerd like her.

But really, I wondered why I would give her the time of day to even acknowledge her with my own two eyes.

Chp4:: New Neighbor

The rest of the school week went on the same, I was sure I was on the enemy list for some of the teachers.
Or the hit list, haha.

I only saw that nerd maybe once or twice more that week, after that day she noticed me looking at her she made sure to never be in my line of eye contact ever again.
I was in my room, thinking of what to do tonight with my boys. Saying my Dad is too drunk not to be a parent, I hope the booze kill some of his parental instincts.

And I was right, the whole house smelled like alcohol. My dad had some of his friends over, they were in the living room drinking and watching football, he didn’t even notice me leave. My boys picked me up and we went over to some club unknown to me, must of opened while I was jailed in or something. Alex said that everyone who’s anyone from our school would be there, so naturally I highly doubted that nerd would be there...

We weren’t exactly 21 yet, but Alex got us all fade ID’s. That’s why I like him. He’s always thinking.
We got inside without a problem, everyone was dancing- dirty dancing actually. Some I saw making out in the booth, all up on each other. It was dark as night in the club, and the lights flashed different colors every three seconds.

What a rush the whole scene gave me. It’s been so long since I partied.

We got ourselves some drinks, and after that it was drink after drink after drink...
I was gone after that, in a sense. Not myself.

I became the life of the party, and everyone knew who I was. Everyone knew my name. Everyone in that club knew who not to mess with it. I earned respect.
The beats the DJ was spinning, everyone chanting my name, the excitement, the lights...

I really fuck up my life, every drink I grab is another tally mark in the, “your fucking up your life” chart.

Everyone left at about 5 in the morning, my friends and I were wasted as we tried to keep each other balanced, making our wobbly way outside.

They didn't take their cars. Yeah, that's right. We listen to those commercials about how dangerous it is to drink and get behind the wheel. Oh, and the real reason we choice to walk was to whistle at all the hot girls walking by. Haha.

I hope my dad would sleep until evening because well, I knew we both have major hangovers right now. Though I knew he always drank, even while I was being kept in jail, so he would learn to tolerate it.

When I walked with all my friends to their houses, they all told me how screwed they would be when their parents found out. It was worth whatever punishment, it was a wild night.

After leaving my friends' neighborhoods, I tried looking for my own. My vision was drunk too, and I noticed a moving truck parked just next door to my house.

I noticed that girl, I know that girl. She was helping her parents bring boxes into their new home.

Seriously, she's my new neighbor? Ugh.

My head ache grew worse.


Chp5:: Burger

After that nerd moved in next door to me, I would make a habit of looking at her through my window, she would always be in her back yard, either watering her new garden, or just reading. At the back of my head I had something planned, if she caught me peeking at her every day, she would want to move out, right?

But she never noticed me, she never looked up to my window, not once.

I watched her have a barbecue with her parents that night they moved in. She ate a lot, for someone so skinny. All I did that day was watch her, I wanted to sleep so fucking bad. My head was killing me, but I couldn't stop watching her.

My dad had been passed out when I first entered through the door, his drunken buddies gone. I wondered if me and him would always live our lives like this... I knew mom wouldn't have wanted that. I could just imagine her scolding me for coming home late, asking where I'd been. It was a nostalgic feeling, remembering her.

My eyes grew heavy, and I decided a nap wouldn't be so bad to pass up.

When I woke up, I noticed the moon out. The girl- I mean nerd- was sitting on her bench and reading again. I squinted my eyes to notice a single burger sitting on her bbq grill.

My stomach grumbled, I was starving. And I knew nothing in my own home would do me any good. Don't judge me for what I'm about to do! Because It's my hunger that's talking and controlling my legs. I jumped out of my window with a loud thud to the ground, I was used to jumping down fairly high places. I was like a ninja, or a burglar...

There was a small fence around the perimeter of the nerds house, and I knew the only way I could get that burger was to jump over it.

What I do for food...

I was thoroughly surprised she hadn't noticed me yet, probably too engrossed into that book of hers. What a nerd.

I put one foot up onto the fence, and then used the other to leap into her back yard.

She noticed me then.

Her book dropped, and she gasped, standing. “W-what.... what do you want?” That was the first time I heard her voice, it was so clear, that I thought it would be more ugly and nerdy...

I wondered if she knew before hand who she would be living next door to her... or maybe she had no idea. But she seemed more scared of me, then shocked knowing I was her neighbor.

I put one hand up and waved away her worry, walking to her black bbq grill like I really wasn't trespassing at all. “Only want the burger, I’m not gonna kill you,” I don't know why I said that, but she looked as if expecting me to bring out a gun and shoot her at the spot. She watched my every movement suspiciously, I could tell by her body language she would run inside her house and call for mommy and daddy any second now.

I swiped the burger before she could haul her parents out here, my mouth opened wide to take a giant bite of the burger, but just before that I had seen her smile, a giggle, followed by her sitting back down and picking up her book, continuing on whatever page she was on.

I looked like an idiot with my mouth wide open, and the meat from my burger slipped out, plopping to the ground.

Chp6:: A Good Deed

I blamed my stomach entirely, I didn't know what was going on with me. Honestly, first, I talk to her. I replied to her. I even looked at her again. And that smile...

That smile.

I should of just took the burger and left, nothing said. Nothing done. Nothing felt.

I saw her again at school. She was carrying a tray with healthy looks greens in a container, and a carton of white milk. I wouldn't eat healthy like that if it was the last food left on earth. Smoking decreased my hunger, so why didn't I just smoke that night I was so hungry?

The nerd sat once again under her tree, -I think it even had her name on it- eating peacefully her food, she picked up her plastic fork and stabbed her small tomato, it entered her mouth, and then I finally realized...

I was looking at her again. Wondering when the next time she would smile, it occupied my mind for whatever reason.
I ditched my friends and didn't go in the parking lot with them to smoke like I usually did during my lunch period, I thought this was a good thing, until I saw two punk girls walk up to her and shove her tray to the ground, her open container of salad fell too, ruined, they laughed at her mockingly and stomping on her salad.

I sighed. Bullying. Really? How cliche was that. I took my hands out of my pockets and pushed myself off the wall I was leaning against.

I really couldn't stand seeing people who couldn't even fight back being bullied, and it was annoying. All they want is stupid attention and are desperate for their own self esteem to boost.

I walked over to them, giving off a killer aura that made the punks become motionless.
Silence grew over them, their laughing ceased, and when they heard my voice they gasped, trying not to pee their pants- or skirts in their case. Both of them had ugly purple streaks in their hair, trying to think they represented something. Maybe they thought they were hard? Hah!

“Why don’t you both fuck off and get a life?”

I could tell the nerd wasn't used to that kind of language, for I saw her slightly wince and downcast her eyes, she was scared, and for some reason that made me more angry, at them, and myself.

The punks looked nervously at me, sharing each other glances, still trying to keep their cool. “Hey, we know you. Is this some kind of joke? Since when were you such a do-gooder? You usually instigated the fights. Now you want to protect this one nerd here?” One of the punks remarked, pointing a finger at her victim.

I snorted, closing the distance between us. They really were getting on my last nerve. “You’re a waste of life, space, and your breathing my god damn air. I suggest you FLEA NOW while you still have your so called pride! Or I will make the remainder of your high school life HELL. Capiche?”

Of course, getting threatened like that by the famous Johnny would make anyone run. And that's what they did, or tried. But as they were about to turn and scurry off, I put both of my hands on their shoulders, holding them down with brute strength.

“Apologize to her. AND PICK UP HER DAMN FOOD!”

At my words, the nerd shot her head up, staring at the scene in disbelief.

Both of them gave me a slow nod, I let them go so they could do exactly as I asked, and they did. They faced the nerd, bowing as they apologized.

“WE’RE SORRY! REALLY SORRY!” They squeaked, eyes closed.
The nerd blinked, looking down at the tray that was being put back on her lap, and the greens too, also the milk (which wasn't open to spill)... It wasn't as if she'll start eating her food again, seeing as how it was on the ground and all.

They ran off then, screaming about how unfair it was to be bullied by the scariest guy in school.

“But why... why would you help someone like me? You’re-” she stopped herself, thinking over everything- she looked so confused.

There it was again. Another question. Another time hearing her voice. And again, I replied. Just like the last time.

“I just hate people like them. They piss me off. Anyway, they’re of no importance anymore. Do you... uh... want me to buy you another salad?”

Chp7:: Reputation & Friends

My reputation used to matter to me, but these days, as I talk more and with Celia all that doesn't seem to matter to me anymore. It's as if it becomes of less importance to who I am, and I don't give a damn what people will think of this.


I mean, we weren't actually going out perse, but we were talking. People noticed- oh yeah they noticed. At lunch, she would sit alone at a table, and I would accompany her, she would always put her book down to revel her face, and then we'll talk. My gang, well, we were sort of drifting apart, one day, when Cecelia wasn't around, they had came up to me and said,

“Are you high again? She’s ruining your rep!”

“You stopped hanging out with us because of HER! A NERD WE HAD ALWAYS MADE FUN OF!”

“This girl has changed you, Bro, for the worse.”

I punched Jean in the face for what he had said.

“Did you make a bet with someone? Is this what it is? Is someone giving you money for associating with her?”

Fucking bastard. I knew, me and him were through. I don't know about the others, but I made an effort to not include them in my life any more.

Chp8:: Sent From Above

At home, my Dad and I would be on good terms. Cecelia helped us clean the house a bit, with whatever cleaning supplies we even had. My Dad liked her, Cecelia, I mean.

“She seems to have changed you for the better. Son, I’m sure your mother would have been proud. . .”

“Yeah, I’m sure she would be proud...”


I actually received praise from him... it felt GOOD. I'm sure Cecelia influenced him, too. To stop drinking so much with his buddies I mean, and I knew the kind of person Cecelia was.

She gave second chances, I don't know why, but I think God sent her down here with me for a reason. I would always remember the image of her getting out of her car that one day, nerdy as could be.

Chp9:: Beginning Of Something New

Even though my life has been turned upside down for the better, my dad and I still had that financial problem... and no one would hire someone like me, anywhere. They either saw me on tv, got scared, and turned me down. The whole town knew of me, knew of things I've done in the past.

But I was trying my best to put the past behind me, the past where I was making nothing of my life.

I was scum. I had no real dreams, no future where I thought I would live to 30. But as a year already passed by me, I understand everything happens for a reason.

Everything happened for a reason back then. My dad and I still live in our house, it's all thanks to Cecelia and her father. Who is, get this, A PRIEST! He was the priest of a church I used to go to with my mom, I had no idea he was Cecelia's daughter, and I was oblivious to know I was living next door to a priest.

Cecelia moved away from the bad part of town, -which was all bad-, she went somewhere faraway with her dad. Somewhere safer. Somewhere where she would know she had impacted my life so much, she would think of me as I think of her, and the kiss we shared just before she left.

She left me all the money I needed to pay everything off, I could live off that money. I didn't want to be a charity case for her... but I was grateful for her.

I had no male pride, it didn't exist, not when I was in love with her this whole time.

I was in love with all her imperfections, I was in love with the way she would always push her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, whenever she would help me with my studies. (By the way, my grades tremendously improved because of her, in just that short amount of time. I was able to get into a decent enough college.)

I changed my outer appearance too, I didn't look like a gang member anymore. My hair was combed, and I sold my chains for more money and donated it for a worthy cause.

Now, as I sit alone in my room, my dad away at work after a long, long time, I reflect on all the good things Cecelia has done for me. I'm glad she was safe now, away from this bad neighborhood. I was a changed person because of her, I am making a difference in my life.

I think about my addiction as I'm home alone, and how long it has been. I draw a cig out of the carton on my desk, and thought of Cecelia's smile.

“Nah...” I mumbled, with the use of my forefinger and thumb, I snapped the cig in half.

. . . . e N D
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 4/3/10 , edited 4/4/10
Will read after another epi of DRRR |D
Posted 4/3/10 , edited 4/4/10
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23 / F / o-o places =3
Posted 4/4/10 , edited 4/5/10

My dad was unusually quite today and -

owo XD
I read the first chapter and some of the 2nd C:
Yey typos? XD
Posted 4/4/10 , edited 4/5/10
-clapshalfishly- xD

& isnt that how you spell quite?
like shhhhh kind :D?
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23 / F / o-o places =3
Posted 4/5/10 , edited 4/5/10
the shhhh kind is QUIET o_o
quite is like...
"quite nice C:"
Quiet is
Posted 4/5/10 , edited 4/5/10

-editsQUITE&updates- owo
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23 / F / o-o places =3
Posted 4/17/10 , edited 4/18/10
word repeat 8d

“But why... would would you help someone like me? You’re-” she stopped herself, thinking over everything- she looked so confused.

Iloved the end <3
Posted 4/17/10 , edited 4/18/10
Woooyayyy kinnie read it 8D ♥

& thankiesss >w<
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
owo I completely failed at reading this after the epi?? ;w;
Sorry DX
Tomorrow for this it is >:D
Bug me until I read them tomorrow mkayy?
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
cuz you were tooo busssyy licking ROCKS ; D

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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
lol. I like the warning about bad words at the top XD
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
lol well its truee XD
if you would read it then you would seee. LOL
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/27/10 , edited 7/27/10
Cecelia still went to his school though, right? ;w;
They still got to seeeee eachother righhhttt?!?!
Posted 7/27/10 , edited 7/27/10

gj/thanks for reading bear-rapesan C:
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