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Neo The Alien

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Posted 4/20/10 , edited 12/24/10
Neo The Alien
The story of a human girl meeting an alien pervert. . .

Human Girl Meets Alien Pervert


Neo cheered, smiling so much today that her cheeks would hurt.

She had been eating out with her friends in the famous pizza shack, she ordered one of everything. Pepperoni, cheese, anchovies; you name it. Any topping. She’ll eat it.

ESPECIALLY Chicken. But today was Pizza day... no chicken today for her.

Bawk... bawk bawk~ She thought, licking her lips as she began devouring her pizzas once they were ready and placed at her table.

Her friends stared at her, and blinked maybe once or twice, which was enough to see the plate of pizza that were stacked on one another, gone... devoured by the girl who patted her tummy and belched out loud, leaning back in her chair with a content look on her face.

“How can you eat so much Neo...!? And you always stay skinny!” One of her friends with the pink hair said in bewilderment, mimicking her other friends expression.

“The real question that you should be asking, Tea, is HOW can she eat so FAST!?

Neo giggled, infectious as it was, her friends laughed a long with her. The atmosphere at the pizza shack was friendly, and even comfortable. She had come there so much with her friends that she was an every-other-day customer. All the money from her piggie bank would go poof though... and she would have to resort to asking her elderly neighbor, Eggnawg, if she would like her lawn mowed. Or her attic dusted..

She remembered the cobwebs and lack of oxygen up in there, she shuddered to herself as the flashback struck. Ughh... maybe I should start babysitting again....

A car horn, followed by a crash, then countless more horns going off sounded outside in the streets, interrupting her disturbing thoughts, everyone's heads whipped outside the window, where all hell broke loose on the streets.

The weirdest part... ?

A guy just stood there, in the middle of it all. He smirked her way, and she could tell, it was for her eyes only. His eyes... a blue and red color, glowing like a demons.

Neo tried not to panic, but her expression deceived her. “What in the world...!?” Neo shouted as she rised, chair screeching against the floor. Phenomena struck in her boring town finally, everyone was going mad, for some reason or another... this has never happened.

For some apparent reason, she made hero and ran outside, as everyone inside the shack watched, including her friends that immediately stood and gasped after she left.

She knew because of him that this whole scene would be on the news. She could just see it now... Breaking News: Stupid dumb ass decides to stand in the middle of the street.

Cars skidded trying not to run over the boy, cars were rammed into trees. Drivers pulled their windows down and poked their heads out, cussing at the closest person to them, raising their fists and shaking them. And more honking... it was getting prolonged now. Two passengers had gotten out of their car after they collided, fuming and seething.

They threw punches, getting physically violent now.

Why, Neo wondered, was her world turned so suddenly... mad?

As Neo took in all of this, she was getting closer to reaching the boy, who still continued to stand there. Staring at her. Was that a gin...?

She tackled him so hard that both of them soared all the way to the sidewalk, where catastrophe was still in ear shot.

Her hands held his shoulders down, her stomach was flat on his, but she didn't care, being on top of him as she brought her head up, staring into his blue and red pupils that she felt could see her fears, but she wasn't afraid of this freak... more annoyed, then afraid.

“Are you a dumbass?! LOOK WHAT YOU CAUSED! Why would you just stand in the middle of the street!? Your such a stupid- whaa...!”

She yelped, suddenly being pulled down as he grabbed onto her shirt collar, locking his lips forcefully with her.

Burning Burning Burning

People in the background were still going out of control, seemingly not interested in the two locking lips.

It took a full five seconds for Neo to comprehend what was going on and end the kiss. She pushed her hands against his chest, pulling herself away and off of him.

She stumbled back, gasping for air and just WAITING to yell her lungs off.

The boy stood up, almost robotically.

He looked pleased with the smirk on his face, as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “What... don’t tell me that was your first kiss?” His voice sounded so smooth and perfect, in all the mayhem surrounding them, Neo found herself only able to hear his voice reach her ears, the background was mute, as if everyone suddenly shut up.


But she failed to care, letting her anger take over. “S-shutup! That’s not the issue here! I don’t even know you and you KISS me! It’s not normal kissing people you don’t even KNOW!

She wanted to strangle him... but she didn't dare close in on him, but that didn't stop him from doing so...

“Huuh? I thought it was normal. If two people have the 'sexual' attraction, they kiss. And other stuff...”


“W-what....did you say! You..... ASFHJKAWFHKELRSJDKA!” She yelled in gibberish, launching forward toward him and swinging a left hook in hope that she'd slam a fist hard across his face...

That didn't exactly happen. Because he simply took a step backwards and leaned away to miss the punch and took hold of her wrist, pulling her into him.

“Let. Me. GO. PERV!”

His laugh was definitely out of this world. “Now, why would I want to do that when I just pulled you close? Your not very bright, are you?”

His smug comment just tripled to her anger, but his hand around her wrist was too strong, it even hurt to a point she had to scream.

Once she shut her eyes closed, thinking this was all a dream and she had fallen asleep on her pizza again, his voice was a silent whisper in her ear. When he told her to open her eyes, fire reflected in them, wild flames, terror.

Everyone was switched off-mute, burning and yelling in agony. Including her friends...


So pretty much everyone was burning...?

Or so she thought.

Her knees buckled, he still held her wrist. And then...

She woke up with a start, gasping as she looked around at her friends with a pizza face, -she had somehow fallen asleep in her pizza...?-

“WHAT THE HELL!” she was freaking out, her face as pale as a ghosts. She looked as if she seen a ghost.

Her friends faces were just as surprised as everyone elses who heard her little outburst.

Just what the hell was that...? A vision? Something that was to come?!

She peered through the window, at the street, at the pedestrians and the cars.

“Fire! There's going to be a fire!”

Everyone heard her. And everyone looked at her as if she was crazy, including her friends. She ignored them. And ran out once more, breathing hard and running to exact spot she met the boy.

Well, off the road not in the MIDDLE of the street. She wasn't that crazy.

She was at the spot he... kissed her.

Maybe somehow she could prevent this? Maybe she could prevent the stupid idiot who stood in the middle of the street, causing all this mayhem?

Maybe, she thought. But she seemed to have been waiting for hours... maybe she was just going crazy? Really crazy? She could see the people around her whisper things about her, and see her friends from the pizza shack window, just sitting there staring at her.

And then time stopped again around her, and only she was allowed to move.

Slowly standing back up from sitting on the sidewalk, she raised her head up high, at the little green UFO that seemed to have appeared...


What was to be expected was a tiny little green man walking down the stairway out of his little ship, but nooo...

Noo, not at all.

The human looking boy looked around first with a blank look on his face, she stared at those eyes that shifted back and forth, left and right, but they were definitely not the one from before. This guys eyes were calmer, but were still lazy looking and it looked like he'd want to take a nap. And his honey orange hair... Neo got kind of hungry now.

“Where is... this place?” he seemed to have been asking himself... ?

She approached, kind of... awkwardly. Seeing as how she was the only one in motion at the time.

“Earth!” She shouted, but he still seemed to have been looking around everywhere but her way. Just who the hell is this guy? Since WHEN did aliens look like school boys?

She put her hands against her waste, standing straight and tall, pouting at him. “Hey! You deaf or something?!”

He finally made his lazy eyes look my way, and smirked, “Oh, didn't see you there.”

“How!? When everyone else around me is on pause!”

He began walking down the steps of his UFO, slowly of course... “Huuuh... I wonder how that is?”

“So do I! Care to explain!?”

Just when he was about to walk his last step, he... tripped?




What fire? The fire between us?

Her "standing tall" stance faltered, and she fell to the side when he tripped.

“You tripped...! Why did you trip?!”

“Because...I'm clumsyyyyy....” he lifted his head up slightly, revealing a stupid goofy grin and laugh.

Neo sent an annoyed and un-humorous expression his way, getting up and stomping her merry way to this idiot.

He got up slowly from the ground after her, clearly taking his time, patting his clothes down and whatnot.

Damn. Neo planned to have stomped his head down like a bug if he was still down... oh well.

“Okay, ALIEN BOY, you tell me what on earth is going on here or else-!” By now she managed to grab him by the collar of his shirt, closely having a good look at his face, shaking him a little bit.

“Ha ha, you said earth.

She shook him violently now, but his head only tilted to the side and his mouth was open like... he was drooling?

“I-I'm being serious here!! YOU ALIEN PERVERT-”

He put one single finger up, “Now wait a second... I haven't done anything perverted, yet.


She couldn't stand looking at his stupid face anymore, so she shoved him away and turned her back to him. “Whatever. Your not the one I was looking for anyway,” she walked a few steps away with a 'hmph.'

Which left the 'alien pervert' in a curious mode. “And who were you looking for?”

“Your mom.”

She heard a faint chuckle from behind her, “Heh, my moms at home making me cup of tea, would you like to us join us?”

“NO!” She still talked with her back to him, crossing her arms.

“I just want a way to stop the fire...” she mumbled.

“What fire? The fire between us?”


Well... that made her turn to him. Appalled by her actions, she scowled and went on anyway, aware of the little smirk playing on his face. “It's like... I saw this fire, but then it didn't really happen...? Because I woke up? So was I... dreaming? But it seemed so real! And there was this guy... hey! Are you listening to me!?”

He had somehow sat himself down in the middle of her explanation, picking his noise and staring intently at the booger on his finger.

“Oi... it's bigger than before.”

He had no reaction time for what was about to happen to his pretty face.

She launched a karate kick across his face, and he flew back and landed on the steps of his ship, Neo saw that blood fly through the air as well from his bloody nose.

Maybe now he would take her seriously...?

The little distance between them now had left her unable to hear his quite laughter, “...So you say fire? But you say it was like a dream? Hmmm.....” he held his hand around his bloody noise, making an 'effort' to not piss of Neo any longer.

“...Sounds familiar.” he added a moment after, catching her gaze.

“Huh? How?”


“....You mean like the movie? Where the wifes husband dies and all that stuff happens...?”

He nodded.

“Or... that one movie with that girl... or I don't know... some PERSON who sees these bad things happening before they even happen...”

“That would be called a fortune teller.”

“No! It's that one movie...GAH I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME! But... what am I trying to say here? A PHYSIC!?”

“I'm totally being turned on right now by your guesses.”

He's like a freaken LIGHT BULB!

...This guy was getting REALLY annoying.

Here he is, listing things off randomly that turn him on at the top of his head, with this stupid... looking face he made. Like she had the time for that!

“...STOP. JUST STOP ALREADY, GOD!” She flailed her arms in the air crazily, she had just bitch slapped him for the 20th time... but he just came back for more.

“Hm?” his stupid head tilted to the side, a questioning baby look on is face.

“It turns me how you shout stop.

She groaned (again. what was this like the 100th time?), heaved a verryyy heavy sigh, punched him directly in the nose, and walked away. Well... tried to.

He pulled on her sleeve with little effort, (with the hand that WASN'T covering another bloody nose) and looked up seductively at her. “You're an S, aren't you? I guess I can be the M in our little game-”

In no time, she kicked him in the gut and he fell over with a laughing groan.

She stared at him, glaring full on. “You.....”


“Why did you from an UFO?! Your not even green! Aliens are green! You look like a stupid SCHOOL BOY! Your suspicious! I don't trust you.” She stated bluntly, crossing her arms.

She heard a snore come from him a moment or two later, how can he nap at a time like this when she jammed her fist into his nose for the -a big number- time!?

Just when she was going to stomp on his head, his arm reached up abruptly and grabbed her leg. She blinked, gasped.

“I think playtime's over now, Neo, if you would like the answers to your questions, come with me.”

Why had he suddenly gotten so serious...?

She pulled her leg away, taking a few steps back. (which just happened to be closer to UFO...)

“...What? I-I'm not going to your planet URANUS with you, perverted alien!”

He stared at her boredly, all humor gone, as if it was never a part of him. “Quit joking around. I thought you wanted to stop the fire?”

She stared at his expression, confused. Where was the goofy-ness?

And finally just remembered something, right at the time he took her arm, dragging her to the ship.

“...H-hold on! How do you know my name?!”

“Are you sure, you want to know? I can answer that question easily.”

She thought about it for a moment, staring at the back of his head as he continue to take her hand.


At least that would answer ONE of my questions...! She thought to herself, ready.

“I stalk you in your dreams, I enter through your window at night sometimes, watching you sleep intently, I like to also pop your sleeping bubble, because, truthfully, it turns me on. I like your pink pj's as well, and your fuzzy bunny slippers next to your bed. Sometimes, I even slip them on, walking around your room with them. Oh, your room smells nice. What fragrance do you use? Also... one last thing; why do you scream your own name in your sleep? By the way, that's how I know your name.”

Destination: Uranus!

His answer... had confirmed everything.

He was just a perverted 'alien' boy!

But somehow this time, he knew her reaction all too well and either dodged or blocked her attacks.

After the little struggle of hers, he had dragged to her on the steps, but she continued to fight. “Let go of me, damn it! LET. GO.”

He sighed. “Do you really have a choice? It's not like anybody else here is willing to help you. As you can tell. I'm the only one left, sorry.”

She had almost forgotten her background, she'd caught sight of that pizza shack, her friends were still sitting there, she could see them from the window...

He stopped mid-step, noticing the struggle cease. “It's the only way, if you ever want to see your friends and an un-frozen earth again, come with me.

The last three words had suddenly sounded so convincing, she looked up at him with a somewhat understandable expression.

“Fine... but on one condition!”

He scoffed, “Hey, it's your earth, not mine.”

“F-fine, ALIEN PERV!” She was back to her angry tone again.

The door to his ufo opened automatically, Neo stared at it for a while. She was really going to leave earth... her friends, everything. All because of one crazy premonition.

Before going in, she stopped for a moment and looked back one last time, sighing, the alien perv lead her in.

And they zoomed off to his planet, Uranus.

“....So, what was that 'one condition' of yours anyways?”

“You tell me your name..”

“Usui. But call me Stalker.”

A Talking Banana... Wtf

Usui's planet... I mean, STALKERS planet, Uranus, sure was huge and wide... from the UFO ships windows, I could see the planets stars and small planets we were passing by, and then their was Usui's planet.

The biggest one. Uranus.

...I couldn't actually believe his planet was named Uranus.

But then again... I could. It was the stalker pervert alien I was talking about.

Once we've made our landing on... his planet Uranus... (God, seriously!? I'M NEVER GETTING USED TO THAT!) he'd escorted me down the steps and held my hand the entire time, trying to start anew with his pervyish ways. Didn't work, he started nibbling on my hand and drooling.


He rolled his eyes and showed all his teeth in his bright, annoying smile, “Everything...”

I grew a vein, my fist raising in the air, and then he just walked past me.

Uranus had like its own kind of bubble surrounding the planets vicinity, so people may go and leave, and breath oxygen inside, too.


What the-

A talking banana bumped into the back of my leg, and I stared down pissed at it with a 'wtf' look, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU!?”

The banana did the banana dance, hopping up and down and stripped its peel off, Usui was chuckling over his hand next to me, “I haven't seen such a pretty girl like yourself in a while here, what brings you to Uranus?”

Usui burst out laughing and crying on the floor.


I just stared with a deadpanned look on my face, at the banana, and Usui...“What's wrong, girly? You want to see me peel off more of my sexy skin?”


All was heard when I impaled my foot down on the talking perverted banana, and Usui gasped. “WHAT DID YOU DO! THAT'S THE PRESIDENT OF URANUS!”

“A...banana? Really, Usui. You can't fool me.”

I heard the banana's weeping under my foot, and his strangled words, “T-tis true my fair lass...”

This was just too freaken bizarre and retarded.

I ended up re-thinking to myself, Why was I here?!

I looked at Usui in a serious way that made him tilt his head, “I thought you wanted to help me! Not fool around...I'm leaving...!”

You Kissed My Brother?

This whole planet was full of freaks, and everywhere I turned I would see walking vegetables! I officially hated banana's... that's for sure.

I didn't even know where the hell I was... I ended up in some parts of the woods, in front of two talking... trees.

“Maaan, don't you hate these 'Love Me' woods? All these dayum couples be comin' hur, and rubbin' up on us. Jeesus!”

“I knooow riight~! Likee, get a room, man!”

“Forreal, mah bro...”

...Wtf was going on? WAS I GOING CRAZY? WHAT?!

I ended up passing a few more talking trees, and curled up against one that... didn't talk. I really wanted to just leave and go back to Earth! I missed my friends and family...

Just when I was about to cry, a rustling of leaves was heard, and the wind bit at my face.

Usui stood in the center of the clearing,

“Don't cry... Neo.”

I just stared at him, tightening my arms around myself, “L-leave me alone...just leave,”

I wanted to be emo for a few more minutes, but Usui wasn't allowing that. He was too close to my personal space... as he knelt down and sat on the grass with me, staring deeply into my defiant eyes, with a curious look on his face.

“...Awkward, heh?” He chuckled a little, pinching my cheek.


“That's better~! I like hearing your angry voice more than that sad and depressing one,”

I scoffed and slapped his hand away, still being stubborn and looking the other way. Until he kept coming closer... to my face. Like he was reaching for my lips!


My heart jumped,

“Would you hold it against me, or even possibly shoot me, if I kissed you right now?”

I didn't reply straight away, and that made him smile more.

He raised my chin up, ignoring my shy shaking of the head, and touched his lips to mine for more than a second.

And then I remember that boy... my first kiss... while everything was burning. Just who was he-

When Usui pulled away, he gave me a shocked look, a look I've never seen him wear, and I wondered if I was that bad a kisser...?


“You kissed my brother?”


“I......your WHAT!?”
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
The title and description make me laugh |D Will read tomorrow >:D
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25 / M / Nowhere in partic...
Posted 7/27/10 , edited 7/28/10

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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
Eggnawg? XD

You wrote this BEFORE you saw Maidsama right? XD
Pervy alien from outerspace ;D
That kid has no name yet...!
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
Lmao i suck of thinking of namess okay xDD

and yup owo WAAAAAY before |3
& lol Usui he is then.... wenever i decide to update this thing -w-

& thankss Bob xD
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
Update noowww |D
It's funny |D
And I wanna read moreee owo
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
ohh well i guess i can put up the 5th since i got all these ideassssss bcuz of Usui XD

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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
and lol. You even made him LOOK like Usui? XDD
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
He IS Usui xDD
LOLLL added new chap Cx

...random dialogue at the end WTF WORTHYY XD
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
SOOO, this has turned into a freakish fanfic? |D
LOL at the last line XDD
and "the fire between us?"
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25 / M / Nowhere in partic...
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
“I'm totally being turned on right now by your guesses.”


way to go for weird alien pervs! XD
Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
teehee whyyy NOOO not a fanfic |3
Usui just decided to be special enough to be an alien for me 8D

LOL yeahh alienn pervs ftw ♥
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 8/2/10 , edited 8/2/10

that whole stalker-speech... XD
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 12/27/10 , edited 12/28/10
Posted 12/28/10 , edited 12/28/10
I randomly had to put in that random twistt o3o

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