Post Reply My stomach!
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Posted 6/13/10 , edited 6/14/10

My stomach!

(Setting: A middle aged man has just been pulled over for speeding on a street just past 8pm. The man is seen wearing a blue dress shirt and black pants who has just gotten off of work fifteen minutes ago. As the police officer who stopped him, is getting his notepad and pen out from his vehicle. We listen in, to the thoughts that are racing through this man's head.)

Aww man! Why did I have to get pulled over right now.
Jeez can't this police officer see that I'm in a hurry!?
(There is a grumbling sound heard coming from the man's stomach)
Oh no, here it comes! WAIT.... just a.... bit... longer! (gasping for air)
Ugh I gotta take a dump so badly!
I could have just parked the car at the side of the road and hid in the bushes
but I mean, I wasn't even that far away from home.
(The cop leaves his car and begins his approach)
I gotta calm my stoamch down right away before things get out of hand.

(He begins to take both arms and press them iinto his stomach like a hug, to alleviate the pain)
I don't think I can hold out much longer anymore.
Looks like there's going to be a huge stink bomb coming up... right... about....NOW!
(The officer finally arrives and smells something awful)
Uh... yeah sorry about that putrid smell officer.
You see, I was trying to stop myself from shitting my pants, but as you can smell, its already to late.
(Quickly covering his nose and mouth with his right hand,
the officer begins to speak with a muffled voice trying to find the right words to use)

N-never mind about that speeding ticket.
I can... just let you go... seeing as how you need to take care of some.... business.
I'll just forget about pulling you over and won't write up the ticket.
Sorry about your pants, and have a safe trip going home.
(The middle aged man gives off a sigh of relief and drives off for home
which was just fifteen minutes from where he was stopped)
Man that was totally embarassing! But at least I never got a speeding ticket.
This truly is one of the most funniest moments of my life! EVER!
Posted 6/18/10 , edited 6/18/10

what INSPIRATION brought this on? xD
51646 cr points
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28 / M / with Dampé by the...
Posted 6/18/10 , edited 6/19/10
@ Koko: it was actually an assignment for class. We were supposed to do a monologue with a chara, but suddenly it turned into a dialogue XD OH well, I don't really care XDD
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