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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10


story by embie~

It’s been a week since my best friend got in a fatal crash.

I’ve been crying all week. I don’t know what else to do…

I got the call today from her parents. They wanted me to come over.

I slowly got out of bed; it was 3 in the afternoon and still I was in bed.

When I got to her house, I knocked gently. A week ago, I would have barged in with no warning, shouting at her parents that I was raiding the fridge. We were that close. But now, it just seemed rude to do that.

Her mom answered the door, and was surprised I’d knocked. “You know you’re always welcome here… any time you want.” I nodded slowly; suddenly I was shy in front of her.

She led me in, up the stairs to my best friend’s room. She handed me a small key, and a small box.

“We… think you should keep this.” They were both placed in my hands, and I wanted to cry. I knew what this was, all right. This was the little box he kept all her most prized things in. She never showed anyone, and kept the key on her at all times. She’d never even shown me what was inside.

I was soon sitting in my bed again, staring at the little case and key.

Heaving a heavy, almost guilty sigh, I slowly opened it up. What was inside made me cry even more.

A photo of us, taken at her tenth birthday… a scribbled note I’d left her in class one day… they were all things that reminded her of me…

I put my head in my arms and cried for what seemed like hours. Why her? Why did she have to be the one to die?

I rolled over, unable to cry any more, and put the little box on my bedside, where it would be safe and special.

I turned on my side, and noticed I’d left my computer on.

I made my way over to it, slowly and sluggishly. As I wiggled the mouse to wake it up, I sighed. She’d always been on this site… I had never been much into it, but she’d said it was amazing. I figured the people there deserved to know she was never going to be able to talk to them again…

I slowly typed in the site URL. When I pressed enter, and the site popped up, I got teary again. I’d only even seen it from over her shoulder.

I knew her username and her password; we shared everything.

Now logged on, I went to her profile, to change it.

“This is Kitty’s BFF… Kitty died last week in a car accident… She won’t ever be able to get on again…”

I figured it would ruin some peoples’ days… They didn’t know her, but they talked to her every day. They didn’t even know her real name. They only knew her as “Kitty.”

I put my head on the desk for a moment, to clear my thoughts.

When I looked up, there was a private chat message from one of the friends. A person by the username of superShinez.

superShinez : ;^; I’m very sorry to hear that… Kitty was a good friend of mine on here T_T … one of my best, actually. But, if you don’t mind me asking (if you are even reading this), are you alright? A best friend is something important… I can’t imagine losing one… >__<

I wiped away threatening tears, and thought about whether to reply or not. I slowly typed out a reply.

Kitty : Not really. I’m not fine at all. I’ve been crying nonstop since it happened, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost at least ten pounds because I never feel like eating. My life’s a wreck right now… I don’t know who you are, but I’m sure that if Kitty was your friend, you’re a great person… I’m sorry to have ruined your day with this news…

I waited for a bit as whoever was on the other end thought of a reply. Then, the little 'typing' icon blinked. They were responding again?

superShinez : You’re not eating? O: That’s so unhealthy! Do you think you can just follow Kitty by not eating, or what? >__<

I cringed inside. This person, so far away who didn’t know me at all, had hit the nail right on the head. Deep down, I wanted to follow her. The only way I could make myself do it was starvation and malnutrition.

It was only my half-assed attempt to be with my best friend again.

It was a while before I could reply. In that time, superShinez said more.

superShinez : I’m sorry, that was harsh…
superShinez : Are you still there…?

I shook my head.

Kitty : Ah, yeah… Sorry… truth is, you’re absolutely right about me. I want to follow Kitty… but I’m too much of a coward to actually do it. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me… I know she’d hate seeing me this way. I know it, but it’s just… so hard….

It was a while before the response came.

superShinez : I know it’ll be hard on you… but you have to stay strong! You have to live on, and show Kitty you can remember her, and be happy enough for the both of you.
Kitty : you’re right… I should. But I don’t know if I can.

I sighed at the computer. What was I doing, talking to this stranger?

Kitty : I have to go now. I probably won’t get on this site again… it reminds me of her too much.
superShinez : Well, before you go, what do I call you, at least?

I frowned, and rubbed my shoulder. I’d never thought to give a name that this person could call me by. This person was a lot friendlier than I was being.

Kitty : Uhmm… just call me Lost.

That’s what I was, right?

superShinez : Alright, then, Lost. I hope you aren’t upset for too much longer. ^_^ Don’t starve yourself!

That night, I was oddly hungry. I ate more than I’d eaten in a week.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I went another week, eating a little more. I cried less. But ever night, before bed, I looked through the things in her little box. That’s when I’d cry again, and wouldn’t sleep until I’d done letting my tears out. It made it easier to hold them in the rest of the day if I let them all out at night.

I had stopped losing weight, but I wasn’t gaining back what I’d lost.

I was sitting on my bed looking through her things again when I suddenly thought about that person, superShinez.

I wondered what superShinez would say about how I was doing… would they have advice for me?

I meandered to my computer, wiggling the mouse a little to wake it up. I stared at the screen for a few moments, wondering what to do.

“Maybe… just a little. They’re probably not even online…”

I opened up the internet browser, and typed into the search bar the site name.

I was surprised when I saw the superShinez was online. I clicked on the name slowly, to open a private chat window.

I was going to exit the browser again, out of cowardice, when the ‘typing’ icon lit up next to the name.

superShinez : Lost, is that you? ^_^ It’s been a whole week!
Kitty : Uh… yeah, it’s me…
superShinez : And… how are you? Are you eating?

I was surprised again. This person was so concerned about someone they didn’t know at all.

Kitty : Yeah… I haven’t lost any more weight… but I’m still finding myself not all that hungry when I see food. How have you been?

I felt weird asking that to someone I didn’t know.

superShinez : I’ve been alright. Worried about you, frankly ^_^; But alright.
Kitty : You were worried about ME? Why would you be worried about me?

I sat in bewilderment.

superShinez : Because, you seemed to be in a really bad state last time…

I sighed. Was I that readable. Like an open book? Even over the internet, this person could tell how bad I was then… It was a huge wake-up call for me. If I was that obvious on the internet, what must my parents, and everyone around me for that matter, have thought… How much did I make them worry?

It was a while before I replied, but I could somehow tell that superShinez was being patient, understanding.

Kitty : Thanks… thanks for worrying about me. I’ll admit, it’s very strange for me, talking to someone I don’t even know… But you have a way with words, superShinez… your words have made me feel better, somehow.

I could almost see a large smile on superShinez’s face as they typed back a reply to me.

superShinez : Good! I’m so relieved you feel better! I would feel so bad if nothing could help you move on… ;o;

I smiled, myself, something I haven’t done in two weeks.

Kitty : … I just smiled! For the first time in two weeks, I smiled… are you some kind of angel or something?
superShinez : HAHA! X3 No, I’m no angel. But I like to help people, and I guess I’m good at it. I’m glad you can smile again, Lost! Do it more! ^_^ It’ll make you feel better, I promise.

I nodded to myself as I replied. Smiling did feel better than frowning…

Kitty : I’ll try, don’t worry… I should go though... I might get on again soon…
superShinez : Okay, I hope to chat with you again, Lost! :3

I logged off and hit the exit button, then turned off the computer. I sighed. I might have been getting addicted to the internet world now.

Or was it just an addiction to superShinez?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In the next week, I got on twice more to talk with superShinez.

I got out of the house more, too. I walked around the park nearby, I went shopping once, too.

But the thing I looked forward to most was getting on the computer to see if superShinez was there.

I found myself opening up to this person. I told them the whole story. How I’d found out she’d died, how I’d not wanted to go out of the house for that whole week, and how I felt so lost. I found out I could express myself so much better to this person.

It was about a month after our first meeting when I said thank you.

Kitty : Thank you, Shinez… This’ll sound crazy and cheesy, but you saved me… I don’t know how I can repay you…
superShinez : … how about you let me call you something other than Lost? ^_^ Lost sounds depressing… :<

I sat. I thought for a moment.

Kitty : But… in a way, I think I still am lost. I don’t know how to describe it… but I’m still trying to find my way back to myself…. Sorry…
superShinez : It’s okay ^_^ I understand. I can wait for you to find yourself, and then you can decide what you want to be called.
Kitty : Thanks…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I was sitting in the park a few days later when I heard the squawking of pigeons, the sound of their wings flapping as they scattered.

I glanced in the direction of the sound to see what had startled them, and saw a young man, sitting on the ground.

“… Hello?” I walked over to help him up. There was a bike with a wheel still spinning a few feet off. “Are you okay?”

He smiled and nodded. “Ah, yeah, I’m good.”

I watched him as he patted himself down and went to retrieve his bike. It was a sleek blue beauty, and I smiled. “You fall or something…?”

He looked back at me as he righted his bike and moved it to the side of the park path, putting out the kickstand. “Ah, yeah. I saw the birds and didn’t want to hit them…”

I tilted my head. “They always scatter before you can get close enough for that, you know…”

He looked bewildered. “Really?”

I nodded. “They’ve adapted to human life. You must not be from around here…”

He nodded, still smiling. “Hah, you read me like a book! I just moved here today. I was taking a bike ride to familiarize myself with the place.”

I nodded slowly. “You must have moved into the house on Pickadilly that was for sale, right?” It had been for sale for two years, with no buyers. The sign got taken down about a week ago. I had just started to get out a lot more by then and I noticed it was gone.

He nodded again. “Yup, that’s me! Hey, do you know a good place to go for coffee?”

I nodded, and pointed north. “There’s a place called Cuppa Jo’s on Cane Street. Want me to show you how to get there?”

He nodded, and smiled even more.

We walked to Cuppa Jo’s and talked the whole way there. His name was James, and he was going to be a Junior next year; I was a sophomore next year.

I would have to thank superShinez when I got on tonight. Because I talked to that person, I was able to talk easily with others. I was able to smile so much, too. superShinez helped me get over my best friend’s death… I would always be indebted to them.

When we got to Cuppa Jo’s, James ordered a frozen hot chocolate for me. He said it was to repay me for showing him around.

We sat at a table, enjoying our drinks, when he mentioned that he had recently lost a good friend. I was speechless.

“You too?” I sighed and looked down.

He looked at me curiously. “Yeah…”

I almost laughed. A smile played across my lips. “I lost my best friend a month ago. It was hard for me.”

“That’s tough. But you seem so happy now! I never would have guessed you’d lost a close friend…”

I nodded. “Yeah, I had the help of a friend.” That was the first time I’d referred to superShinez as my friend anywhere in the real world.

James smiled. “Must be a great person, then.”

I smiled and nodded. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking… how did your friend die?”

He sighed, and looked away a little. “Ah… I was afraid to ask how it happened…”

I nodded. It had been hard for me to ask how she had died. In fact, I didn’t ever ask. Her parents had told me without my asking. They could tell I wanted to know, but couldn’t ask.

I glanced at my phone, and realized it was almost seven in the afternoon. “Ah, I’ve got to get back home… Mom’s making my favorite dish tonight!”

I stood up, and waved goodbye to James.

“See you later, Sam,” he called and waved.

I smiled on my way home, and ate a full plate of dinner with my family.

I could see the glow in their eyes as they saw that I was feeling so much better about things; about life, about everything.

I sighed as I looked through her things before bed. I didn’t cry this time, somehow.

I smiled, and got on the computer to tell superShinez of my progress and my seemingly fateful encounter today. I sighed when I saw that they weren’t online, and yawned. I had to get to sleep, so I turned off the computer, aiming to tell my friend tomorrow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I saw James again the next day. I was sitting at the same place in the park, and he rode by. I waved and smiled, and then winced as he narrowly missed running into a tree near the path.

“Hey, pay attention to the path!”

He swerved to a stop, and laughed. “But I saw you waving and I had to wave back! I can’t just ignore you.”

I smiled. “Well, how’re you doing? All unpacked and stuff?”

He shook his head. “Ah, not yet.” He sat down on the bench I was at. “I’ve only got a small fraction of my stuff unpacked. I was so tired yesterday after riding and the flight.”

I tilted my head. “Where’d you move from?”

He grinned and looked up. “Scotland.”

I gaped. He did have a slight accent… but it was so faint.

He laughed. “I only lived there for a few years, so it was easy to get my old American accent back.”

I shook my head in amazement. “Wow. Well, welcome back to the States!”

He grinned and nodded. “Yeah, thanks…” He seemed like he had something on his mind.

“Something wrong?” I leaned forward and peered back at him.

“Ah, just worried about another of my friends… I haven’t talked to her for a while, before I left home.”

I was slightly depressed that he was worried about a girl, but it was okay. She was in his past, right?

“Why? Is she okay...?”

He smiled. “Oh, she was more upset about that friend who died… they were a lot closer than we were. She’s been getting better but I still worry.”

I couldn’t help thinking how much he sounded like superShinez.

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be okay…”

I thought about how superShinez hadn’t been online last night, and sighed. I’d really wanted to tell them about James.

“Actually, that friend I told you about the one that helped me so much… you sound a lot like them.”

He looked over at me, surprised. “Really?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Heh…” I laughed at myself a little for disclosing this information, my guilty pleasure of going online to talk to strangers. “Actually I don’t really know this person. They were friends with my best friend on this sight she used to love. But they really helped me. I would probably still be moping around my room, not eating and not talking to anyone, if it wasn’t for Shinez…”

I was looking at the sky as I talked, but his silence made me glance over.

He was also looking upwards. I could almost see a smile on his face.

He must have noticed me looking at him, and smiled at me. “It seems like you really value this friend of yours.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I really do.”

That night, as I got online again to check if superShinez was online, I was disappointed to find they still weren’t. I sighed, and went to bed. I was a little worried. What if something happened to them…?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A week later, I got online again. I was upset because superShinez still hadn’t gotten on.

I sent a private chat message.

Kitty : Shinez? Are you there?

An hour later, and still no Shinez.

Kitty : Shinez, did something happen to you?! ;o;

No reply still, in half an hour, and I sighed, shutting off the computer to go to bed.

The next day, I met with James to go shopping. I promised him I would show him the best places to shop in town.

But he must have noticed that I was troubled.

“Hey, are you okay, Sam?”

I looked over at him as we walked down the street. “Ah, yeah… I’m just worried. That friend I told you about, hasn’t been on in over a week… I don’t know what happened to them.”

He thought for a few moments, and frowned, looking down. “I’m sure they’re alright, Sam… have faith, okay?”

I sighed and nodded.

“It’s just that they really saved me when I was on a bad path… I’d hate to loose contact with that person now.”

I knew it wasn’t all that healthy of my to want to talk to this person so much now.

But I couldn’t help it.

I did cheer up though, as I showed James around town. I showed him the best places to buy clothes, and the grocery stores and the place with the best smoothies. I would make him into a local in only a few days.

I don’t know why, but I feel like he might like me. As more than a friend. And that would make me happy, I realized soon after.

That night, I sat at my computer, almost afraid to get online again.

I entered the name of the site and logged in.

I had my eyes shut, but when I looked at the list of people online…

There is was!

superShinez was there!

superShinez : OMG I am so sorry! I haven’t had access to my computer for the past week!
Kitty : Sheesh, don’t scare me like that! I thought something happened to you! >__<
superShinez : sorry… I just moved, actually ^_^ My computer didn’t come until today.
Kitty : You moved, really?! That’s weird… o_o

I watched the ‘typing’ icon like my life depended on it.

superShinez : yeah, I managed to crash my bike in front of a bunch of pigeons because I didn’t want to hit them the first day here. A girl I met told me they always scattered before you could get close enough to hit them… She told me about this great person she knew, who helped her through a tough time for her. I was really shocked when she told me the name of that person. She reminded me so much of you that I instantly fell in love with her, I think.

I couldn’t move, couldn’t breath almost.

superShinez : Actually, I’m sitting at the spot where I met her right now, I’ve got a portable internet USB…

I didn’t even reply to the message, but rushed out my door and down the stairs. At the door, I hurriedly tried to put on my shoes. But they wouldn’t go on fast enough, and I ran out the door barefoot.

“Sam?! Where are you going?!” My mother stood at the door.

Without looking back, I called, “I’ll be back in a bit!”

I ran barefoot to the park down the street, and came panting up to James, sitting at the bench with his laptop.

“Sh-Shinez…!” I had my hands on my knees, breathing heavily.

“Hey, Lost.”

I gathered my breath again, and looked up at him. “I’m not… Lost anymore. Call me... Sam…!” I didn’t regain my breath until I’d fallen on him with a hug. “And I… fell in Love with you too…”

I could feel his smile as he gave me a gentle kiss and hugged me back. And I didn't care that my feet were getting cold.

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23 / F / o-o places =3
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10

Man that story got me out of watching CG o w o...
i go back toit now. : D
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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
The awesome power of my stories to make even Kinnie read them through BOGGLES THE MIND!
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
oh look... 8D


like~ there was some old dude sitting on a diff bench from Sam & James wen they first meet, & "overhear" everything they say, and THEEENN wen Shinez says all that stuff about meeting a girl and falling in love, ITS REALLLY THE OLD DUDE!
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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
... ;w;
HOOWWWW would that be cool?! XDDD
ANNDDD There's a reeaassoonn I haven't been able to read themmm =w=
I've barely even been ON lately XD
POINT ME TO THEM. I'm also lazy is why... |D
Just tell me which ones, I'm too lazy to go find them XD
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
Btw.. "Kitty" is actually one of mah friends name, that died. ;w;

James is that dude im talking to you about on msgs XD
the one who calls me & that you find funny & "romantic" xDDD
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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
and I'm sorry... >____<
that coincidence is a little creepy..... ;w;
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10

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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
Fine I'll read them sooon, I promise =w= As long as they're not TOO LONG or about MushmallowMan |D
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
yeah, you uh, TEND to really creep me out sometimes in that way ;__;
always "guessing" names of people i know & stuff o.O
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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
Not a stalker just for the record |D
Can you see someone as STUPID as me being a creeper hmmm?
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
naw i dont think they're "long"... xD
PSSHHHHHHh if i were to make ANOTHER marshmallow man story it would have to be one of him 1) dying. 2) suffering. 3) choking on his marshmallows. 4) making fun of his diabetic fat @ss eating self.
: D

YES. and i CAAAN see someone as STUPID as YOU being a creeper |D
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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
that old man is YOU kokochii XD
You know yer an Old Man Creeper ;D
*runs off to read stories*
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25 / M / Nowhere in partic...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
Wow that's a good story

btw, was it inspired at all by the recent happening on CR where the one person passed away?
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26 / F / In my own little...
Posted 7/26/10 , edited 7/27/10
Yesss, in a way it was. I've been toying with an idea LIKE it for a bit, but when I heard about the person that died, I had the idea for how they two would meet =w=

And thankies ^^
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