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Funny things you've heard from your friends/teachers say outloud?

Posted 4/18/11 , edited 4/18/11
Those first few posts were gold. LOL

Friend incident:
One time my friend "H" bought some wings from Georges Chicken. They're very yummy. We have a habit of giving people offerings of snippets from our lunch. Friend "N" was told to mind "H" s entire lunch as he went to the lavatory. Friend "H" comes back looking shocked, seeing friend "N" dusting his hands of crumbs and an absent lunch.

Friend "N" assumed the gesture was for him to have that lunch. Friend "N" is always too serious about studies and was wearing ear phones.

Teacher incident:
Sometimes our P.E teacher spouts out, 'Oi! Mothers day club is over, you two stop holding hands and spread yourselves on the field!' It's not molestation it's softball.
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F / In another world....
Posted 4/18/11 , edited 4/18/11
That once one of my friends she had 2 ask something 2 the miss...she kept on raising her hand but the miss wouldnt see then she got so mad that she said"LOOK AT ME U DAMN MISS"...she turned around nd said".....did u say something???"........i was laughing about that so much that i almost cracked up XDDD
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Posted 5/8/11 , edited 9/8/11
My health teacher tried to explain what the girth of a penis was and
she said "the round part" while making a circle with her thumb and index finger
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28 / F / Charlotte, NC
Posted 5/8/11 , edited 5/9/11
I was at Target with my friend Marissa and I was looking for the Boondock Saints movie to buy. So she went up to this really hot guy that works there and accidentally said, "I'm looking for the BoonDICK Saints".
I've never seen a darker shade of red on her face. We pretty much died laughing. xD
The hot dude said we totally made his night though. :B
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Posted 5/8/11 , edited 5/9/11
My P.E. teacher was explaining the key of a basketball court and he drew and example and one kid said " it looks like a mushroom" then my teacher said "it looks like a mushroom if your a drugger." Everybody was laughing.

some people are starting to sag their pants and my teacher said " you saggers walk as if pooped your pants."

some kids were talking about scoliosus or something(the curving of your spine) and another one that makes you some kid asks "what if you both of them" then my teacher said ".....then- i guess- you would look like and "S". and she tried to make herself look like one.
Posted 5/8/11 , edited 5/9/11

tardfingers wrote:

sociology professor imitating a mother and small child.

mother - put your jacket on
child - why
mother - because its cold
child - why
mother - because god made it that way, now put your fucking jacket on
child - why

hahhahahahahahhahahahaha xD
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27 / M / California, Hawai...
Posted 5/8/11 , edited 5/9/11
my band teachers said he forgot to watch bleach last night, half my class was like what is bleach
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23 / M
Posted 5/9/11 , edited 5/9/11
We are in the middle of the class, learning science. And then there's a question with female's genitalia picture. Suddenly, a boy raise his hand and ask permission to go to the toilet. And our teacher okay'ed it. After he left, the teacher said "He must be masturbating.". And then we all laugh xD
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25 / F / The Netherlands
Posted 5/9/11 , edited 5/9/11
Two years ago in General Physics Class, my classmate Stephanie suddenly got up from her chair and said "EEWWW! MY ASS IS WET!" And the teacher (65) said: "Stephanie! Don't say such things!"
Stephanie: "Oops, sorry sir, I meant my butt it wet."
Teacher: "No, you shouldn't talk about being wet in that area at all!"

A few weeks later in that same class, same girl and same teacher:

Stephanie: "I want a tattoo on my butt!"
Teacher: "I'd hit on that!"
Teacher: "Or is that... politically incorrect? ..."
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25 / F / London Below
Posted 5/10/11 , edited 5/10/11
Just today, my friend told me I should be my English teacher's daughter...Yup...
Posted 5/10/11 , edited 5/10/11
my friend brandin thought je ne sais quoi was Spanish and he said it like this je ne sais pa we got into a huge fight over that and it took four people not including me to tell him that it was french and not Spanish and it was pronounced je ne sais quoi and not je ne sais pa.
Posted 5/10/11 , edited 5/10/11

DRO1 wrote:

My P.E. teacher in high school called this kid a "cunt nugget"


I'm so stealing "cunt nugget"
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Posted 5/10/11 , edited 5/10/11
Friend: "I love cute old people."

Me: "I want to hug one 'You poor thing, you're going to die soon.' "

Friend: "Xena, you're going to die soon, my mom is 54."

Posted 6/12/11 , edited 6/12/11

Me: So what's the homework for Math again?

Jamie: UHH what did you say Franks?

Me: Are you listening?

Jamie: I wasn't looking at your boobs

Me: What?

Jamie: Nevermind

LMFAO it was hilarious when you make your friend stay up with you for an entire night cause then they say some crazy shit.
Posted 6/12/11 , edited 6/13/11
Teacher: Now, who can tell me what components are in our urine?
Anthony: Acid?
Teacher: *facepalms..... Anthony....does your penis burn when you take a piss?


Friend: *watching Beyonce video* sometimes I wish I was black...and female....I wanna be a black woman!
Me: Let's pretend....*squeezes his chest* myy what huge titties you have *slaps his ass* yeah check it out....applebottom jeans the boots with the.....??
Friend: *sigh* -__- Fuuuur
Me: the whole club was looking at her *points at him* she hit the floor, next thing you kno shawty got low low low low........get low bitch!
Friend: *tackles me to the ground*

In car listening to rap:

Friend: who sings this?
Me: Tupac
Friend: I thought he was dead?
Me: Yeah he is....he got shot....wait...what? They can still play songs when they're dead! Ever heard of Elvis woman?
Friend: Ooooh yeeeeah
Other friends: *sniggering in back seat* hey....Beethoven....*snigger*.....Michael Jackson
Friend: Noooo I'm sure Beethoven has been dead for a while....


*watching the Youtube video "where's the chapstick?"*
Friend: Never mind that....where's the tredmill? Where's Fat Fighters club? Where's her penis? I bet she can't find her penis....
Me: *fallen off swirly chair pissing myself laughing*

Friend: *singing Friday*
James: *bursts in* who the fuck was that?! Get out....fucking get the fuck out of my house right now!
Me: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! He's serious *rolling around laughing*


Taekwondo teacher: Alright class we have guests watching the session today up on the stands of them is my ex wife....say Hi to ex wife....
Us: *awkward wave*


Lecturer during Freshers week: Alright you're all fucking wasted so what's the point? -__- *walks out*

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