What Happens When You're Captain Hitsugaya....
Posted 6/1/12 , edited 6/1/12
Chapter 1: A Day In The Office

"Captain!!! Lend me some money, please? You always say no, just this once?" Rangiku begs with puppy dog eyes.
"No! If you didn't spent all of it when we're in the world of the living, you wouldn't keep asking me and I wouldn't have to keep saying no!!!" Captain Hitsugaya yells at her.
"Captain…. If you give me money you'll grow taller" Rangiku aims for her Captain's weak spot.
"Get out of my office! NOW!!" A huge vain protrudes from the Captain's head as he points to the door.

Rangiku Matsumoto, 2nd in command of squad 10 of the 13 Protection Squads, is once again trying to get money from her Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya. She's now going to go ask someone else for money probably. Captain Hitsugaya checked his paperwork to make sure it was properly filed and got ready to head for the world of the living.

"I was fine 5 minutes ago, then she comes in drunk and asking for money…...I need some green tea…." Hitsugaya walks over and attempts to fill his mug up with tea.
"Give her money and I'll grow my ass… What the? Where's my tea?" It turns out, before their argument, Rangiku had drank the last of the tea. Hitsugaya, clearly frustrated, slams down the tea pot and lies down on the couch and falls asleep.

Several hours later, around 11pm, Toushiro awoke to 2 famillar breasts in his face.
"What the hell!! Rangiku! Get off of me!"
"Sorry Captain, it fell."
"What fell?"
"These sir." Rangiku held up what looked to be a pair of men's underwear, tighty whities. Captain Hitsugaya didn't know what to say or do so he just sat there once again baffled by his lieutenant's behavior.
"Whose are those?"
"No worries, Captain! They're not yours."
"That didn't answer my question… and I knew that already."
"What kind of underwear do you wear captain? I won't tell."
"Why would you need to know that?"
Suddenly, Nanao the lieutenant from the 8th division busts in the room.
"Rangiku-san! He's coming! Didn't you hide them?!"
"I was going to but I couldn't get Captian's desk open. Captain, where's the key?"
"Why would I want another man's underwear in my desk?"
Without warning, Captain Byakuya Kuchiki walks in the room. Rangiku quickly stuffed the briefs under the couch Hitsugaya was sitting on with her foot.
"Where are they ladies?" Kuchiki demanded.
"Where are what, Captain Kuchiki? Are you missing something?" Nanao and Rangiku said at the same time.
"Captain Hitsugaya, do you know where they are?" Hitsugaya had zoned out, and was brought back to reality by Byakuya's question.
"I don't know, I just woke up, something fell, men's underwear, and I didn't even notice Nanao-san come in, so no." Kuchiki walked over to the couch looked around and saw the underwear in question sticking out from underneath the right side.
"The Shinigami Women's Association will regret breaking into my house and rifling through my belongings!"
"Chill, it's just a pair of underwear. Renji said he needed them 'cause he lost them in a poker game with Kira and Hisagi. Besides, it doesn't even look like they'll fit." Rangiku said with a smirk. Nanao covered her mouth mortified and Hitsugaya rubbed his eyes. Captain Kuchiki turned his nose up and walked out of Hitsugaya's office. Nanao quickly bowed and apologized to Hitsugaya and left too.
"Rangiku, don't you think you should be leaving too?"
"Nah… Hey Captain? Did you reconsider loaning me the money?"
"You have until the count of 3…..or else I will show you up close how Hyorinmaru's fangs look. 1…….2……." Before Toushiro got to 3, Rangiku was gone.
"I can go to the world of the living tomorrow and not have to deal with her all the time. Maybe 3 hours a day at the most." Captain Hitsugaya went to his quarters ate some late dinner and drifted back to sleep.

Part 2 will be out later, I have to edit it. I hope everyone liked it! ^__^

Posted 8/24/12 , edited 8/24/12
Heh I enjoyed your piece. You captured Hitsugaya's personality very well.
Posted 10/1/12 , edited 10/2/12
A liitle fun in the barricks, I like it looking forward to more. If you need help editing let me known I like to write but I always seem to shine with editing Good luck.

Posted 10/2/12 , edited 10/2/12
(Here's Chapter 2 in my Hitsugaya series. Sorry for not posting it sooner. By the way there is an implied sexual situation that includes drugs that takes place three fourths of the way through the story. Just in case any one isn't comfortable with that, stop reading at that point. Everyone else, keep reading! )

Chapter 2: Why Another Day…..?
Sunlight creeps through Captain Hitsugaya's cracked window as the morning sun rises. Everything seems fine until there are voices outside the window whispering.

"No. You do it! You lost rock, paper, scissors!"
"No! Captain said that I only had to come with you to make sure you didn't screw up!"
"Me? Screw up? I could have stayed with the Captain to make sure that he was okay but he just said to make sure this gets to Captain Hitsugaya pronto!"
"He wouldn't trust you with something that important!"
"Yeah he would!"
"Nope! He would not!"

Captain Hitsugaya couldn't take it any more. They had gotten progressively louder and more annoying.

"Why are you here at six in the morning!?" Kiyone and Sentaro looked up at the window, Captain Hitsugaya was sitting on the window sill, in shorts, no shirt and looking as pissed as he did yesterday.

"Why is the request so urgent?" Toushiro held his head, he was starting to get a headache.
"That's why it's so urgent! All he said was to give this to you because you're the two Shiros and that you'd know what to do with it."

Captain Hitsugaya didn't know what to say to the two Shiros part, but he did understand Ukitake's respect for his intellect and intuition. Hitsugaya got dressed in his captain's outfit and followed the two squad 13 members over to Ukitake's quarters. Once there, Toushiro noticed that it was eerily quiet. He ordered that Kiyone and Sentaro stay there and he would go in. Captain Hitsugaya cautiously approached Ukitake's quarters and slowly opened the door.

"Ukitake! Are you okay?!" Captain Ukitake is lying in bed and appears to just be relaxing.
"Good morning, Captain Hitsugaya."
"If nothing seems to be wrong, why did you summon me urgently at six in the morning?"
"I'm about to show you something, you must never mention this to anyone….." With these words, Hitsugaya was getting a very bad feeling…..

"What is it Ukiatke?" Toushiro gulped….hopefully this turns out to be a minor situation like yesterday was and not something else. But Toushiro knew that in these cases, it's normally the worst.

Captain Ukitake got out of bed and walked over to his closet. He took a deep breath and took out a large box. He opened the top of the box and pulled out what looked to be a gigai or artificial body that shinigami use when in the world of the living. It was wrapped in cloth, Ukitake took off the cloth and Toushiro nearly passed out.

It turned out to be a large figurine or doll of Toushiro! But then, Ukitake took out another one that looked like it was as big as he was. It turned out that one was a doll of Ukitake too.

"Look Captain Hitsugaya! I talked to Kiskue Urahara and got these prototypes made in time for the festival. We'll have them for the most original superhero category! The two Shiros! I even had that put on the back of our captain's garments!"
"Captain Ukitake….w-what?"
"Why do you look so surprised Shiro-chan? Rangiku-san said that you would be thrilled at the idea…"
"It's not that I'm not, it's just…"
"I know! I should have asked for some of your input that was inconsiderate of me, Captain Hitsugaya."
"No, it's okay….I'll just help you put those back in the box so everyone doesn't find out right?"
"Ah! Good thinking, Shiro-chan!" Captain Ukitake was so excited that he coughed up a little blood. So Toushiro put the dolls away and helped Ukitake back to bed. He then flash stepped over to his office. Rangiku wasn't there but he knew she'd show up sometime so he made some breakfast, sat down on the couch and ate it. After a little while, he felt sleepy from just a hour of his lieutenant's antics and drifted off.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Huh? No… they're more like watermelons!" Rangiku laughed down the hallway, drunk, happy and looking to turn in several last minute reports before she left with Captain Hitsugaya later for the world of the living. She finished the bottle of sake she'd convinced Kira to buy her and crept into the office. She put the papers on the desk and was about to walk out when she saw the cutest little doll on the couch.
"I know! I'll dress it up! It's that doll Captain Ukitake ordered of the Captain."

Rangiku put blue ribbons in the doll's hair and added some blush to its cheeks. She also put stickers on the captain garb and sprayed some pina colata perfume on it.
"Now it's perfect! I'd buy this doll, if only the Captain had lent me some money…"

Toushiro smelled something sweet and familiar….
"That smells like…pina colata? Rangiku likes pina colatas…." He whispered, then he opened his eyes to find Rangiku asleep on the floor next to him.
"At least she's on her back this time so she doesn't suffocate herself. I remember the last time that happened I had to sit her up…." Hitsugaya felt his head to see if his headache had gone away. It had, but there was a bow in his hair?

"Breathe, just breathe." Toushiro walked over the mirror that Hinamori insisted on putting in his office. He saw himself and his blood boiled.
"While I'm asleep…..and now she's asleep. Resist temptation to kill. Resist temptation to kill."
Captain Hitsugaya said over and over to himself. Then, out of the blue, Rangiku wakes up and pounces on him, giving Toshiro a huge hug and cut off his airway. Hitsugaya flails about to try and get her off.

"Oh my! Don't wiggle like that! Hee! Hee! My cute little doll!"
"Mmmph! Mmph!!" He finally gets out, breathing hard. "What is wrong *pant* with you!? How are you still *pant* drunk after sleeping like that? *pant* And what possessed you *pant* to put this crap on me and *pant* make me smell like a drink?!"
"Huh? Why is a doll asking questions such as these questions you are asking?" Rangiku wobbled over to the couch and laid down. "Silly doll…." She seemed to be going back to sleep.
"Why this morning? It couldn't be in the real world where she could dress Orihime up, it has to be me…" Captain Hitsugaya attempted to place a blanket over Rangiku but she grabbed him again and pulled him down on the couch.
"Hey doll! You're supposed to stay with me on the couch!"
"Damn it! For the last time, I AM NOT A DOLL!!!"
"Yeah you are, otherwise you wouldn't smell like a pina colada!"
"You sprayed that on me!" Rangiku and Hitsugaya tussled until he was able to take one of his ribbons and tie her hands behind her back. She fell forward but Toushiro was able to keep her from falling off the couch, face first on to the floor. Captain Kuchiki, Renji and Hinamori walked in to get the final list of officers that were to be sent to the world of the living.
"Ah! Captain, not so rough!"
"Rough? Having this done to me in my sleep, and that other incident from yesterday too?!"
"I should give you a severe punishment!"

"Shiro-chan!!! What's going on!?" Hinamori gasped and just stared.
"Whoa! Captain Hitsugaya! I didn't know you liked that kind of thing…" Renji dropped his papers.
"Captain Hitsugaya, this is very unprofessional. This should be done on your own time and in your own quarters." Byakuya points out.
"Captain, you don't find anything odd about this?"
"Everyone has their own tastes Renji. We must respect this and not judge."
"What are you tastes Captain? Are they like this?"
"That is only for me to know." Hinamori, Renji, Rangiku and Hitsugaya stare at Byakuya.
"Captain, I'm not coming to the Kuchiki estate ever again…" Renji stated, creeped out. Hinamori ran out, her face red, Captain Kuchiki did his usual "I'm better than you" walk out and Renji walked out calling Captain Hitsugaya the "freaky ribbon master."

Captain Hitsugaya lets go of Rangiku so she falls on the couch instead of the floor.
"Thanks Captain! Ow…. that kind of hurt a little, do you do that in your spare time?'
"I should have let you fall on the floor…"
"Aww….don't be a sourpuss. Oh! That reminds me, I was supposed to tell you that we'll be leaving tomorrow and not today."
"Why didn't you mention this when you first came in!?"
"Well, I was in a playful mood and you were asleep."
"How does that translate to putting stickers, bows and pina colada perfume on me?"
"It seems to suit you so well and if your going to match your doll…"
"Never mind…why is there a delay?"
"It seems there were more pressing matters."
"Like what?"
"The squad 12 Captain needed everyone's input on what his new hair style should look like."
Captain Hitsugaya was starting to think maybe he should drink too. Underwear, dolls, pina colada perfume and now add freaky ribbon master to the last two days. He decided not to though, because all he had to do was take one look as Rangiku, who left also because she saw Kira and Hisagi half drunk outside. It was clear that she had easily talked them into buying her drinks and now strode off with them. Captain Hitsugaya took the rest on the bows out, got the stickers off and went back to his room to take a shower. He then walked over to the cafeteria to get something to eat and ran into squad 4 Captain Retsu Unohana.

"Good evening, Captain Hitsugaya. Would you like to eat dinner together? You look a bit stressed."
"I think I will, thank you, Captain Unohana." They both get some food and sit down to eat. There are some whispers and hushed voices in the room. People were talking about the earlier incidents, some about the underwear and others about Captain Hitsugaya's new nickname.
"Captain Hitsugaya, I've been hearing some strange things about you the last few days."
"Yes Captain Unohana, some odd things have been….wait, few? That implies 3 or more days. Excuse me, Captain, could you tell me what you've heard."
"Don't worry, they all sounded all sounded wonderful."
"Really? Are you sure…? Because.." Captain Hitsugaya was cut off by Unohana's Vice captain, Isane asking him a question.
"Excuse me, Captain Hitsugaya? What type of underwear do you wear? We've had lot of requests for you?"
"Isane. I hadn't asked him yet but, would you mind showing us? Not here of course, we can go to my private chamber for that."
"Captian, are you sure that's okay?"
"Yes, it's fine. I have a very gentile touch and would like to know myself…."
"Captain! You're so.. forward…."
"I keep on telling you Isane, firm when needed and gentile when needed and always with a smile." Captain Unohana pointed to her face and gave a warm smile. Captain Hitsugaya couldn't believe what he just heard. He needed to get out of here now. Isane and Captain Unohana seemed to be deep in conversation. Next, he crawled under the table and flashed stepped out of the cafeteria. He then went over to squad 13 to tell Ukitake what happened and if he had any ideas on how to deal with Captain Unohana. She is after all, one of the oldest and most respected Captains even if she does seem to have a "different" side to her.

When Hitsugaya got there, he heard music coming from Captain Ukitake's room. He got closer and saw through the window that Kira, Hisagi and Renji were there.
There was a pole in the middle of the room and three women in bikinis with flowers on them. There were bushes in the room and a cardboard cut out of a cherry tree on the wall.
"Hey Captain Hitsugaya… what's up? We were throwing Captain Ukitake a party to show appreciation…" A flushed Kira answers, Renji and Hiagi are too busy watching three of the girls near the pole, while one is giving Ukitake a lap dance. "You three said that we were going to have a nice indoor garden party….. Careful dear…… Oh my! You really are flexible……." Ukitake's face was flushed and his hair was a bit messy.
"Appreciation for what, Kira!!?"
"The female form and flexibility…. And it's the Captain's birthday…."
"His birthday isn't until December 21!!!!! It's August!!!!" Everyone stopped moving and looked at Captain Hitsugaya. One stripper who was about as busty as Rangiku, walked up to Hitsugaya and did the splits. She had a flower in her cleavage.
"Do you want to see if you can get the flower out with your teeth, I take it you're a captain? I've never had a captain take a flower out of there before…." Captain Hitsugaya just politely shook his head no, he started to feel a bit light headed.
*Cleared throat * "How much would it take for you nice young ladies to leave and never mention this to anyone?" Captain Hitsugaya said as a whisper.
"Hmmm….. We say $2000 each so that's $8,000 for you." The women giggle in unison. Captain Hitsugaya wrote the women each a check and escorted them out.
"I'm going to leave now… We will never speak of this again…"
"Wait… How much did you give them? So we know how much to pay you back. " Kira asked.
"Shut up Kira! I don't have that kind of money…." Renji sighed. Hisagi and Captain Ukitake were silent as they were embarrassed at their behavior.
"I said we wouldn't speak of this again… What part of that didn't you understand!?" Captain Hitsugaya hissed, his body was emitting cold air and the room temperature was dropping. Everything was freezing and shattering, leaving piles of frozen cardboard and bushes to clean up. Everyone in the room, Ukitake included, shouted, "YES SIR!!!"

Captain Hitsugaya left and went to his quarters. He took a much needed shower and when he came back in his room found the stripper that did the splits with the flower in between her breasts was in his room. She was wearing a short kimono with black high heels and had long dark blue hair.
"Hello again, Captain. Thanks for the very generous tip. The girls and I thank you very much." Suddenly, three other women dressed in similar kimonos popped out and all bowed at the same time.
"Would you all mind telling me how you got in?" This would be the third time he'd have to change the locks. First time was Rangiku and second was Hinamori.
"We're here to do whatever you want us to do….."
"I thought you all were just strippers…… plus I just need some sleep, thanks for the offer though….."
"We can help put you to sleep, Captain..." They all blew kisses at him.
"No that's okay….. I just need some sleep. You all should go have fun with those checks I wrote..." All the women took off their kimonos to reveal that they were wearing sexy lingerie. They set down some bedding that they brought and made a large bed on the floor which they all got in. They motioned Captain Hitsugaya to get in.
"You're kidding right? After I just yelled at the others? It's 11pm….. I'm too tired for this crap… I don't need any help going to sleep."
"Crap..? I take offence to that! We all do!" The women grabbed Hitsugaya and forced him in the bed. He was about to slide out but the one who did the splits said the incantation for a level 99 binding spell. They all ended up sleeping in the bed but Hitsugaya wouldn't let anything happen. One of then gave him some kind of drink that he tried to spit out but it was to late. Captain Hitsugaya started to feel very hot suddenly…..

The next morning…..
"Captain!!!! We're leaving for the world of the living in an hour!!! Wake up!!!" Rangiku yells as she knocks on his door. Captain Hitsugaya was trying to figure out where his clothes were, why he was dizzy and nauseous, and where the ladies clothes were. He didn't have time for that though, he had to get them out of here with out anyone knowing.
"Where are my clothes….?"
"Here… we'll dress you." The women smiled.
"No… thanks… I need clothes and not for you all to be here…. I feel really sick…"
"Don't worry about that, it's just a side effect. Now we'll dress you and use kido to sneak out."
"What did you give me last night? I can't remember anything….."
"Yes it came in handy last night. You'll remember in a few hours…. Too bad you're not a captain. We've never done any of that before." The women all blush and speak in unison. They had finished dressing a disoriented Hitsugaya.
"What!? What did I do? Did we….? Wait… All of you? I'm feeling dizzy again…." Hitsugaya's face turned red just thinking about what might have happened.
"Hee hee….. Just know that you have A LOT of energy. Hee hee." The women give him a kiss one by one and recite an incantation and disappear with flower petals.
"Is that why I'm so tired now…..? Who are those women? They're definitely not regular strippers…. Damn Renji, Hisagi and Kira!! Ukitake too! How am I going to go to the world of the living like this….?" Hitsugaya dragged his two bags over to the door and opened it. Rangiku fell over from trying to ram it. Rangiku looks up and Captain Hitsugaya.
"Captain!! I heard voices! Are you okay!? Why do look so…. You smell like flowers…, Did you use some of my shampoo?" She bent down to sniff his hair.
"Yes…. Yes… I did. Let's go. I don't want to be late." He started walking toward the area where the Senkaimon gate is.
"No fair!!! I wake up on time and you wake up late and there are voices in your room and You still sound like you're in the right!" Rangiku yells and runs after Captain Hitsugaya.

At the Senkaimon Gate, Capatin Ukitake can't look Captain Hitsugaya in the face, Kira is too drunk to go on the mission, Renji and Hisagi were very tense and Yumichika and Ikkaku were normal, well, as normal as they ever are. They all address Captain Hitsugaya properly and make no attempts to make joke or anything. Rangiku thought everyone was acting odd and they all just left for the world of the living.

Once there, everyone with their normal places of occupation. Captain Hitsugaya Still felt groggy and dizzy from those four strippers and he smelled like flowers. He sat on top of Orihime's roof thinking: *This sucks, at least they're not here now….. I don't need to remember what happened…. Wait, I don't remember what mission we're supposed to be doing…. This is bad, I'm going to have to go see Urahara tomorrow… Damn.*

Hope everyone enjoyed it!! ^___^

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