Post Reply "Fools Like Me"
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24 / F / Arizona
Posted 4/26/13 , edited 4/27/13
“Fools Like Me”

(inspired by the song “Fools Like Me” by Vanessa Carlton)

There is something on the back of my mind. Something I cant put my finger on. It’s like a dream you’ve had the previous night; as soon as you wake up you remember the entire thing but as the day passes on it slowly starts to remove from your mind - that’s how I was feeling right now. It was like a dream. A dream slowly fading away.

I was sitting at the local café near my house, I would come here every Wednesday to write. That’s what I do, I’m a writer. I haven’t done anything big yet so my name isn’t well known…yet, I hope one day it will but…I’m at a dead end.

Lately I feel as though I’m forgetting stuff everyday, I came home the other day to discover a large golden retriever sitting on my couch - when my neighbor heard my screaming she came rushing over only to have to explain to me that that golden retriever, has been my dog for ten years! Even now I don’t remember having this dog, no matter how much proof is shoved into my face of all the pictures of me posing with the dog.

I had an idea for a story, when I went to go write it down, I was surprised to discover that I had already written it down. I also feel like I’m being constantly followed, but whenever I turn around to confront my hidden stalker - no one would be there.

This has been going on for the last two weeks!! Now I’ve been going through all of the things wrong with me in my brain - as if it were a list - and I could only come up with one reasonable conclusion.

I. Am. Insane.

The funny thing is, even though I cant remember my own writing or the fact that I have a dog. I could still remember something faintly. A boy. Not a boy I guess…a man. I remember this man clearly because well…

I hate this man.

Even now, the thought of him makes my blood boil and my stomach has a sour feeling to it, I grind my teeth whenever I think of him. But I cant stop thinking about him…which is the part that pisses me off so bad.

I know what your thinking. Boy breaks up with girl, girl gets pissed off but still deep down she still has some feelings for him. Well I believe that’s all a bunch of bullshit - if you excuse my language - deep down I really don’t know who this man is. I don’t know what he looks like, what his name is, how old he is.

I know nothing about him.

That is. Until three days ago. A man (a different man) came to me asking what I’ve been thinking. He asked if I’ve been forgetting things. Then he gave me some new information. My memory has been erased. Well no shit Sherlock. Then he told me that the one who erased my memory was someone close to me. Someone I loved.

I told him to take a hike. And he did.

But now the thoughts are ringing in my head. The one I keep thinking about, the one I hate. Could he really be the one doing this to me? (no wonder I hate him) but I realize now, that the more I think of him the more the thought keeps going in and out of my head. The more I think, the more I remember. The more I remember, the more it just makes my brain feel like mush.

I keep recalling things I have no memory of.

Holding hands. Dogs running down the beach, us chasing after them. Sitting in this very café, drinking coffee while we both write things down on paper…in the end it’s just a feeling that remains.

A feeling of happiness. Being happy? What does it that even mean. To feel happy, to feel loved by someone. It feels familiar. A memory of being smiled at. A feeling of despair and sadness, a memory of being held. A feeling of nothing and then hatred. I remember him.

He wasn’t someone ordinary. He was the total opposite of the definition of “normal” - he was just a writer. Like me!

Except his writing ability is far greater than mine. He was something different alright, something special. You see he had the ability to rewrite memories. That’s what made him special.

I know what your thinking again. “Why should I believe a crazy woman who cant even remember owning a dog!?” but he’s the whole reason why I don’t remember my dog; he rewrote my memories. Memories involving him…he gave me that dog.

The ability to rewrite memories, what gave him that ability, he never told me - but what I don’t understand is that he hated his ability. He hated it so much that sometimes he couldn’t bring himself to be the writer he wanted to be, he was afraid of accidentally triggering his ability…

So why am I here now? Unable to fully remember the one I loved, the one who loved me. If he loved me so damn much, why am I sitting here wondering why? The thought made me sick to my stomach.

What gave him the right to give memories and then take them away. What gave him the right to play god and manipulate people he meets on the street. What gave him the right to —-

“Miss?” I look up to a blonde waitress holding a coffee jug. “Would you like more coffee?”

I look down at my empty cup, I must’ve drank it all.

“Yes please.” I smiled casually at her and then I watched as she poured my cup all the way to the tippy-top. I thanked her then took a sip of the hot liquid. Outside a storm was approaching…

What was I thinking about? I really don’t remember…

There is something on the back of my mind. Something I cant put my finger on. It’s like a dream, a dream you cant remember. Lately I feel as though I’m forgetting stuff, the one thing I can remember though is a boy. A boy I hate with all my heart and soul, I cant remember this boy but all I know is that I hate this boy.

It’s a feeling that’s familiar to me, hatred towards this boy…for leaving me behind.

In the end I guess, its me…who’s a fool.
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27 / F / In my own little...
Posted 4/27/13 , edited 4/27/13
It's a little confusing in spots an you missed a few question marks where there should be one, but I like it! The man that told her that her memories were erased is a little out of place though. It just seems weird. Maybe you could work that information into the story in a different way?
Posted 4/27/13 , edited 4/27/13
OOooh, interesting :3 Love the concept of rewriting memories :'o Pretty unique!
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