Post Reply First Scary Story
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33 / F / Los Angeles
Posted 1/25/08 , edited 1/26/08
I have never written a horror story. So here's the start of my first "scary" story. - ok now it's finished. Maybe not that scary after all? lol.

My Room

They have locked me in my room again. It is a small room with no television. No phone. There is nothing for me to do, but stare at the white walls. I am a prisoner. I am a sinner. My parents are punishing me. They say it's for my benefit. They think I am possessed by the devil and that there is a monster living inside of me. But I know they are lying. I am a normal girl. A smart likeable girl that is about to graduate at the top of her class. My classmates respect me and I have a lot of friends. But why are my parents so mean?

There is no window in my room and I cannot see the sky. I am afraid I will never get to see my friends again. Can a person die from loneliness? I don't want to die in here. I start to scream for help. I am pounding on the door until my knuckles are raw. I scrape against the walls until my nails are bloodied. My throat hurts from all the shouting and now my voice has become hoarse. I cannot scream anymore. I fall to the ground and start to sob. How long will it be this time?

Please, Mommy...Daddy...let me go....

My parents have always hated me. They have everybody fooled. They are very religious and never miss a church gathering. They do a lot of charity work too. They preach about faith, hope and love. Their fake smiles hide their sadistic attitude. They look at me like I'm a monster.

It was Dad who first locked me in my room. I think he was angry because I didn't do my chores that day. Instead I ran outside to play with my neighbor's cute little dog. It was a Cocker Spaniel named Spike. I wanted to play catch, so I picked up the baseball bat lying next to him and hit the ball. Unfortunately, Spike didn't run after it. He just sat there. Even when I tossed the ball at him, he wouldn't even budge.

Since Spike wasn't playing with me, I became bored and decided to go home. Except when I arrived home, Dad was already there. And when he saw me, he was very upset. He told me to wash my hands and to go to my room afterwards. After I washed my hands, I went to my room to write Dad an apology. But when I tried to leave, the door was locked from the outside. Dad said that I had to stay in my room because I was a bad girl who had done a very bad thing.

Mom is worse than Dad. Mom likes to hit me. Last time, she hit me across the face really hard and caused me to accidently bite my tongue. I remember how the blood dripped onto the carpet and how she then locked me in the closet.

Becky is my best friend and I brought her over so we could prepare for our Biology exam. We were having a lot of fun dissecting one of my dolls in preparation for the test. But, mom was furious. She wouldn't listen to anything I had to say and hit me. Mom said I was very bad for bringing Becky over without telling her. But, I still don't think it was right of her to hit me. And when Mom locked me in the closet, she even tied my hands together! What kind of mother ties up her own child and locks her in the closet?!

Both of my parents are definitely crazy. I never believed that they would turn into those "religious fanatics" you read about in the news...but they have! And they have everybody fooled. And I am trapped in here all alone with no where to go and no one to turn to. I am doomed.

All of a sudden, the small opening on the door slides open. A hand reaches in with a bottle of water. I quickly rush over to my Dad's hand and plead with him to let me out. I try to kiss his hand, but he brutally shoves me away.

I curl up in a ball and try to stop the tears from falling. I rock back and forth and close my eyes. Then I start to pray and in my prayer, I promise God that I will be a good girl forever. And that I will always listen to my parents and obey their every command. As long as they let me out of my room... That was my last thought as I slowly felt myself being pulled into the dark and blissful lull of sleep.


"Is your hand okay?"

"Yes, I am alright." He holds his hand up to show the red bite marks quickly turning into a bruising purplish color. "It's just a bruise. It will heal in time, Ms. Greene."

He reaches into his white lab coat and pulls out a small bottle of hand sanitizer and pours it into his palm. As he slowly rubs the dissolving solution into his palms, Ms. Greene makes a few notations on her clipboard.

"Please tell me about her, Dr. Stevens."

"She is a special patient. There is a tumor in her brain. The tumor has affected her ability to distinguish between what is reality and what is an illusion," Dr. Stevens explains.

Ms. Greene interjects, "But surely, she doesn't need to be confined?"

"She is dangerous. A very dangerous child, indeed. There was a case involving a neighbor's dog. She used a baseball bat and beat it to death."

"Maybe the dog attacked her?" Ms. Greene asks.

"Unfortunately, the dog was trained and proclaimed to be the friendliest dog in the neighborhood. Most importantly, it was tied to a tree by its leash. So it could not have attacked her or in this case, run away even if it wanted to." Ms. Greene looks down and upon seeing her doubtful expression, he further explains, "There was another incident too."

Ms. Greene looks up questioningly. Dr. Stevens continues, "She had invited her friend Becky over to prepare for a biology exam. In the middle of their conversation, she jumps on top of Becky and starts strangling her. Becky eventually passes out, and she proceeds to "dissect" her friend Becky. Just as she was about to cut open Becky's chest, her mother walks in and slaps the knife out of her hand. To prevent her daughter from escaping, she ties her daughter up and locks her in the closet." He gingerly touches the bruise on his palm. "It was a miracle that Becky survived."

Ms. Greene nods in agreement.

Dr. Stevens sadly shakes his head, "The parents were very shocked and devastated by their daughter's actions. They knew it wasn't her fault, yet they felt guilty and responsible because they couldn't help her. You see, the tumor had already spread too far. She has less than a month to live."

"Oh no..." Ms. Greene exclaims. As she looks up at Dr. Stevens, he sighs and walks away. She turns to look at the white door with the black numbers 2008 pasted on top. She bows her head to say a quick prayer for the girl dying in the room and quickly follows after the doctor. As she steps through the sliding doors, the sunlight from outside lights up the darkened hallway revealing the white floors and at the end of the hall the sign on the wall becomes illuminated: CR Mental Institution.

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29 / M / Bangalore,India
Posted 1/26/08 , edited 1/26/08
rofl cr mental institution!
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29 / F / Sydney, Australia
Posted 1/27/08 , edited 1/27/08

I am pounding on the door until my knuckles are raw. I scrape against the walls until my nails are bloodied.

If it's in a mental institution, then the walls are padded, same with doors?

Nice for your first horror themed story ^^ (the dissecting part was genius!)
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34 / M / Florida
Posted 1/27/08 , edited 1/27/08
I life the idea you started with, it has the potential to become a good thriller Can't wait to read more!

Theres not too much I can criticize about it, I don't like to pick peoples work apart too much before its finished.

Julia_hotcocoa - go beat on some cloth really hard with a bit of padding and metal behind it for awhile, and scrape your nails across it like you're trying to cut through it with your hands, tell me how they end up

The friction alone would cause injuries after awhile. Patients in mental institutions usually wind up with rugburn, torn fingernails, and things like that, which is why the extremely violent ones are usually straight-jacketed, or monitored closely. Or in the case of hannibal lector, they get a designer mask, and are strapped to a hand-truck so they can be wheeled around everywhere
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Posted 2/9/08 , edited 2/10/08
luved it !!!! =]
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