(Very) Short Story About Wings.
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23 / F / US
Posted 9/18/13 , edited 9/19/13
Here it is:

Please tell me what you think so I can improve on my writing skills. This is a little bit old so there are some things I may have improved on but I still would like constructive criticism.
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24 / M / Bedfordshire
Posted 9/19/13 , edited 9/19/13
I'm not a writer or an avid book reader but i think it's mostly fine, i'm a bit confused as to why she's talking about love relating her growing wings but i guess that's because you haven't included that part.
I mean like i said i am not an author so i can't whats wrong i right just that it was enjoyable enough to read, not my kind of thing really so i wouldn't love it but i may read more.

I think you could possible transition between things better, for instance you said "But the lightly feathered wings rapidly sprouting from her spine were telling her that she had found her 'soul mate'. She opened the medicine cabinet and downed four pain pills and a sleeping pill all at once."

What made her decide to take the pills, i mean i know nothing of her character so that may be part of it but that;s the only thing i can come up with to make it better. (Like i said though i am not a writer so i can't that's something you NEED to do, just in my opinion it would make it easier to read).

Other than that it's pretty awesome, just carry on writing and enjoy yourself, maybe even ignore my non-stop rambling too! ^^
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Posted 11/25/14 , edited 11/26/14
Year-end cleanup. Closing threads with no activity since 2013.
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