Letters to Lorelei
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26 / M / A world of my own...
Posted 10/16/13 , edited 10/17/13
I came here to get the opinion of people outside my social group and family to have some of my ideas critiqued. This particular thread is only going to relate to one part of my creation, the rest shall not be posted, at least not yet. One of the ideas I came up with as a way to develop my main character and also provide insight into the plot. I was hoping the Letters to Lorelei series will provide that vehicle. I would like to put snippets of backstory, personal convictions, and small clues towards the future in these letters.

The letters are composed by Alexandre Dumas, my main protagonist. Alexandre will sign with one of three names; Alexandre Dumas, Alex, and Andy. In Letters to Lorelei, Alexandre will either sign with his full name or use the nickname Andy, as this is the nickname given to him by Lorelei. Lorelei is the only person allowed to call him by that name.

To get a better idea for the storyline here are some of the details:

With global climate change, the natural resources "needed" for everyday life and the advancement of society have become scarce. The lack of resources spurs governments to take military action to obtain the raw materials they "need" and invade the source countries. Small counties are targeted and given an ultimatum; surrender sovereignty and assimilate into another country while surrendering all rights to their natural resources and provide arms and soldiers to said country or face military action (note: citizens, government officials, and soldiers are all included as targets).

After several hundred years of war, the population has been greatly reduced, the world economy is in shambles, and the environmental degradation is so sever scientists predict it will take 1000 year for it to recover enough to comfortably support half of the current population (story not real population). In a state of desperation, people around the world turn to an antiquated system, thought to only exist in myths and legends; magic. By forming contracts with spirits, the seal on magic is released. By using magic, the recovery of the earth is faster then predicted and the world falls into peace.

But now the world has plunged into yet another war. A war between two major factions; The Imperial Theocracy (the Theocracy) and the Union of the Free World (UFW). The Theocracy wishes to "Unite the world under one government and one religion for the benefit of human society as a whole". The UFW is a collection of countries which believes in self-governance and self-determination. By the time the UFW is officially formed, the majority of the world has been assimilated into the Theocracy and the UFW gained the derogatory nickname of the "resistance".

Alexandre Dumas, a Wolf Spirit Contractor and descendent of a powerful clan, which was founded after making a contract with the Timber Wolf, a species with close ties to his homeland. The Wolf clan is know for their superior ability to use collaboration magic (combination of spells by multiple casters to create one spell). The clan's combat abilities are broken down into two different classes: Knight/Sentry and infiltration/assassination. The Knight/sentry class focuses on battlefield assaults and the defense of a person, people, and/or location. The infiltration class focuses on spells and tactics for long-term campaigns deep within enemy territory and short-term infiltration for assassination. The Wolf Clan and the Owl Clan are closely related; they are from the same country and are charged with the responsibility of "ensuring the betterment and advancement of the human and spirit societies". The Wolf Clan has served as the Knights for the Owl Clan and other clans to fulfill their contract with the spirits.

Lorelei, Alicia, and Rosemary are three sisters from Owl Clan, a clan which gives rise to many powerful magicians. Because of their innate ability to freely wield magic, the Owl Clan focuses on magic research to fulfill their contract with the spirits.

At 16, Alexandre is thrust into the war and as a result is separated from his three childhood friends, Lorelei, Alicia, and Rosemary. During a year long campaign deep in a country ruled by the Theocracy, the Wolf clan is betrayed and targeted by the Theocracy, leaving Alexandre as the sole survivor. Now Alexandre bears the Curse of the Lone Wolf, a curse which causes the people closest to you to hate you, feel anger towards you, and ultimately betray you.

The entire world believes the Wolf Clan has been destroyed, including Alexandre's friends and their family. Using his death to his advantage, Alexandre plunges himself deeper into the war with the Theocracy. He fights a nameless, faceless entity. He only wishes to return to Lorelei and return to his home of origin but to do this he must break his curse and he believes the key to breaking the curse can only be found by defeating the Theocracy.

It has been five years since that day and every year Alexandre writes a letter to Lorelei as a summation to reflecting on years before he entered the war. This is meant to remind him what he is fighting for and to help maintain his sanity. This letter is the first letter to be shown in the book but it is the fifth letter he has composed to Lorelei.

Letters to Lorelei: For the Fifth Time

Five years have now passed and this is the fifth time I have composed a letter to you, Miss Lorelei. I have made this my annual ritual. Today is the anniversary of my death and our birthday. Every year, on this day and this day only, I reflect on my past and shed tears of joy, tears of sadness, and tears of yearning.

The time we spent together is very precious to me and my memories are the only thing that keeps me moving in a forward direction. I laughed at myself today because I still keep your lectures and advice close to my heart. I keep a journal close at hand and I write whenever I feel the need to write; I try to eat healthy and take care of my body; I have been diligent with my studies and I try not to allow my interest take precedence over my work. It was a hell of a lot easier to live in a good way when you were in charge of me.

We were born on the same day, one year apart. You are one year my junior but you have always been the one making me toe the line. Ever since kindergarten, you have been there to nag me make me complete my school work. Ever since we meet, you have made me clean up after myself. Ever since we were young and you were able to prepare simple food, you always made sure I had something to eat. I do not remember a time when you were not taking care of me. Everybody always teased me because I have a “loving wife” and “two beautiful Mistresses” (Alicia and Rosemary) who dote on me all the time. I had the hardest time understanding what that meant until I was a freshman; damn I was dense!

By the time I realized what I had, it was too late. I did not accept my feelings until that night, the last night we spent together. I cherish and regret that night and I really wish things could have been different. I wish I could have conducted and expressed myself in a more refined manner. I wish the circumstances could have been different but alas, that day has already passed and I cannot go back. I made a promise I could not keep, I took something which can never be given back, and I’m sure I broke your heart, all because I was selfish.

This year, I find it very hard to write to you. The weight of knowing you may never read these letters feels heavier this year than it did last year and the year before. I do not understand the exact reason but I feel it’s related to my realization that I may not have the right to return home and even if I did, I feel as if you would not accept the “current me”. I have become something disgusting and covered in blood.

You may claim all soldiers have blood on their hands but I have become the exception. I wear the Mantle of the Betrayer and the blood on my hands and armor shall never fade; that which was beautiful and gallant has become permanently died deep crimson by souls of the dead. I no longer fight because I wish for peace but because I wish to dance with death.

How long will the barriers around my heart last? How long will my sanity last? The answers to these two questions evade me. All I know is my goal of returning to my family feels as if it’s unreachable. Please do not interpret this letter as a declaration of surrender; I do not plan on giving up now. I have shed too many tears, spilled too much blood, and ventured too far down this path to turn back now. I yearn to hear your voice, hear your laughter. I want to experience the warmth of your embrace. I long for the day when I can be in the same room as you, Alicia, and Rosemary. I will work tirelessly to end the war and release my curse. I will put forth my greatest effort to see you again, even if you can never accept me. I feel as if I can live with the pain of our separation if I know I made my best effort to see you again and rectify the problem I created.

Though you may never read this letter, I sign with love and respect,

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Posted 10/17/13 , edited 10/18/13
i like this, i like the plot, and the characters too. i want to see more of this. i especially like that you chose to write the story as letters.
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26 / M / A world of my own...
Posted 10/18/13 , edited 10/18/13

S10TH wrote:

i like this, i like the plot, and the characters too. i want to see more of this. i especially like that you chose to write the story as letters.

That is a slight misunderstanding; the letters are meant as a supplement to the main story. The main story will take the form of novel and the letters will work in conjunction with the main plot. I have not decided if I will have a letter before each chapter or before chapters with particularly important events. My idea was to put some information that is relevant to the plot, like personal thoughts, feelings, opinions, event descriptions, concept explanations, character development, etcetera in the letters to avoid excessive unnecessary dialogue, thought monologues, and plot explanations. In short, I'm using the letters to help improve fluency. I would like to use the letters to create intrigue for the chapter following it. I do not think I will use the letters in chronological order so I can drop subtle hints on important events.


Jesse Alexander
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Posted 11/25/14 , edited 11/26/14
Year-end cleanup. Closing threads with no activity since 2013.
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