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The Vending Machine of the Universe

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30 / M
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive half of a rotting corpse in the advanced stages of putrefaction. Its bones are partially visible, the torso is distended and the stench strikes your nose as a drunk does his wife.

*inserts a ball of yarn*
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33 / M / Providence
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive a kitty

*inserts a straw*
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28
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive a shake's existential dilemma of losing it's straw.

*inserts dog hair*
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30 / M
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive the power to summon an obedient pack of ferocious spectral hounds to do your bidding whenever you wish. Their dreadful ghostly bites do no physical harm but instead tear at a being's soul, depleting their life energy. But this summoning power only works when the sun is down.

*inserts a cyborg*
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28 / F / A Fictional City
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
That's pretty creative

You get a Terminator arm that replaces your left arm

*inserts a sheep*
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28
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
^^ (This is what happened in my interpretation of the universe:) You receive a static shock, but later find out that it was actually a collapse of humans-computer interactions. The cyborg used the vending machine of the universes ultimate powers to warp time & space, causing human beings to go back to the stone-age. The only option you have is to go into the vending machine yourself & find the cyborg....

So....*inserts you*

^ You receive PETA forever chasing after you for animal abuse after shoving an animal in a vending machine. You also receive a wool-sweater, which your PETA followers pour a bucket of blood on.

*inserts a good quote*

(Next poster, choose to follow whichever universe you desire. Choose wisely..)
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28 / F / A Fictional City
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
^Let's try living in the stone age

You get an incredibly bad book and wonder how it even saw the light of day and got published. But you wake up to discover it was a dream. After all, you are a cave man and there is no such thing as books.

*inserts a diamond*
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30 / M
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive a blessing from the gods to protect your tribe through the winter.

*inserts a leprechaun*
Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You get a handful of coins underneath a rainbow. But only if you can reach the rainbow. ;D

*inserts a girl I don't like* :DD
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30 / M
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive a boy you love and the rest of your life is like a fairy tale. The end.

*inserts a green lantern ring*
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28 / F / A Fictional City
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You get a hug and a cup of earl gray

*inserts a sugar cube*
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24 / F / Dat place up Norf...
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive a stallion.

*inserts monkey wrench*
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30 / M
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive a crowbar that shoots laser beams. But the beams will always miss their target so I guess it's better used as a regular crowbar.

*inserts a shrunken head*
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30 / M
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Posted 12/4/13 , edited 12/5/13
You receive a normal sized head.

*inserts a painting frame*
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F / Australia
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Posted 12/5/13 , edited 12/5/13
You get this t-shirt that is 10 sizes to big for your shape.



*inserts a loaf of bread*
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