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Women and Insanity
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Posted 1/23/14 , edited 1/23/14
Men and women do tend to have different reactions to things, but when it comes to the amont of emotion involved they are pretty much equal. Women are good at expressing how they feel. To other women. Women are also excellent at picking up emotional cues. Men, not so much. This is not to say that men are bad at this, because that would be a lie, men can certainly tell when someone is upset, sad, angry or happy but they pick up less of the nuances. So a women may think she is being extremely clear with why she is upset with a man, and she probably is clear to other women, but to men it's not as clear so frustration ensues for both parties.

Despite the above, which is generally true across the board based on neural differences between men and women (and I emphasize generally because there are always people who do not fit the mold), societal gender norms play arguably an even bigger impact on how men and women interact.
Men are taught from birth that men don't get emotional, they don't cry that they are naturally stoic. Women are taught that all women are visibly emotional, that they are quick to react strongly to any emotional stimulus. These stereotypes are reinforced throughout life in all institutions of life; family, school, media, etc. There is no escape. Girls and boys are also taught about each others gender stereotypes, so girls tell boys that they should not cry or they will not be masculine and boys expect girls to be "overly" emotional.

But this isn't all. Men are priviledged. They hold the majority of the power. Therefore, the way that men act is considered "normal" and since being openly emotional is not something that society as ascribed as "normal" for men it is labeled as "abnormal" and by exstention "crazy".
The reality is that expressing emotional is not abnormal. It is human behavior. Emotions are normal in any manifestation. I know quite a few men who are way more emotional than me. They mope. They whine. They act dejected and snap at people. I've seen it time and time again, the girls sit around rolling their eyes while Joe sits on the couch glowering, arms crossed insisting that he's perfectly find. Men express emotions as well, and they are just as irrational and "crazy" (i.e. not crazy, just human) as women.

Now, moving on to the abuse subject. Women are not attracted by abuse, they are trapped by it. I have not heard one story of a women getting into a relationship where she knew she was going to be abused. No one wants to be abused (well, some I guess but that's a whole different can of worms). Women get trapped in those relationships after they get into them. Usually the men start out charming and sweet, the novelty of the relationship is fun, going out all the time with only him is great a first. But then that wears off. He starts isolating her. This takes a lot of forms. Some men tell her she has no worth, that her family and friends don't like her, that she shouldn't call because they just talk to her because they feel obligated and she should feel lucky that he loves her despite all her (imaginary) flaws. She is belittled. Some keep close tabs of phone calls and money spent. Some men threaten to hurt her. Sometimes they threaten self harm or suicide if she leaves him. Sometimes they do all of this. Most people are not equiped with the knowledge to get away from this. Many people remember the way that they were treated at the beginning and think that if she does what he says he will return to the friendly, loving guy he was before. Sometimes they become so depressed they don't have the will power to try and leave. This is not something anyone seeks and it does not make anyone weak to get in this kind of situation.
If anything this does not show any kind of fault with women but rather with the men, that they so feel the need to control that they do it to someone they once truly cared for.

Lastly, independent women become unhappy because they are constanly barraged and belittled for being independant. Imagine how it feels to constantly hear, "you just need a good man and you'll be happy". It sucks, there you are just going about your business, perfectly content with life, and then suddenly people are telling you that you need to get a boyfriend, get married and have children to be fulfilled. Hear this enough and you start to believe that it's true, or start to think you are doing something wrong. Men get this to some degree, but they get it later and not as persistantly. Men are expected to spend some time as working bachelors but women still don't have this equal consideration despite making up a very large chunk of the work force. Women are supposed to do it all, so when not doing it all women get the feeling that there is something inherently wrong with them as an individual. Relationships are nice, no question, but we ladies already know this and don't need it shoved down our throats all the time.

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22 / M / New Zealand
Posted 1/27/14 , edited 1/28/14
You guys should visit dating sites that teaches you how to get woman

I'm not kidding, it all becomes clear.

It tells you exactly how woman thinks.

Woman simply thinks in a different woman than man in terms of attraction.

They aren't attracted to abusive men.
But they are attracted to alpha males.
You show that you're a wimp, they will FUCKING filter any chances of YOU having sex with them out of her brain.

Let me tell you a story about goldfish

There's a female goldfish, she's looking for a male goldfish to mate with.
Who'll she mate with, she'll mate with the brightest goldfish, why? Because brighter means healthier offspring, healthier offsrping means better survival. But what happens if there are 2 male goldfish of the similar brightness?

She'll mate with the Male that's already getting laid.

So the trick is to give the impression that other females likes YOU!
Posted 1/28/14 , edited 1/28/14
It's all about pride, not giving credit when it's due imo. An abuser would then be a coward.
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38 / M / Denver
Posted 2/2/14 , edited 2/3/14
Please don't be insulted if I oversimplify here.

Men have emotions about things that are. Women have emotions about things that are, or might be.

If you feel a certain way about something that is, and that's inconvenient for your man, pick a better man. If it's something that may be, you pretty much deserve random results.

My friend was in a long distance relationship for awhile. I've known her for about ten years, and she's now living happily with her guy. But almost every other day, he missed a phone call, or said this, or didn't do that, and she'd freak out like the whole relationship was going to fall apart. She's been cheated on many times in the past, and has trust issues.

To a woman, that sounds like a perfectly acceptable equation. For an intelligent man, his first question is going to be "has this new guy done anything bad yet?"

This is important: you cannot console feelings that have no basis for being there. I don't think either gender picks up on this. For awhile, I stopped talking to my friend, because all she did was complain about problems that didn't exist. I told her this, and she kept doing it anyway. Women have to understand there's NOTHING we can do about the "maybe" feelings. And men are generally too stupid to figure that part out, or they would be a lot more patient.

As for picking men that are abusive versus ones that are not, *shrug*. I'm sorry ladies, you don't have a leg to stand on. There are some evolutionary reasons why this occurs, but if you fall for a guy just because you're psychologically triggered to prove yourself to him (which is already a form of abuse), you deserve the chaos that ensues.
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24 / CA
Posted 2/4/14 , edited 2/4/14
I've been finding myself running into this a lot lately and even getting in useless arguments to defend my girlfriend and women in general.

But the thing is that this craziness has absolutely nothing to do with gender, it's all in the brain and who you are. We all have breakdowns, we all cry, we feel stress and all that "fun" life stuff. We all get crazy at times as well but the only time this should be about gender is during a woman's menstrual cycle, but then again if I was bleeding every month Of course I'd be on edge and you would too. Plus some people are different, some feel fine all the time and no one is the same.

As for all the "evolution" stuff, look at how far our species has gotten. We are not cave men, anybody can be anyone. If anything it's the Media and society that portrays women as weak and small and men as big and strong, not to mention the sexualization and objectification of women. So everyone is basically bred to think that way when in reality it's all false, there are women that will make your manhood weep and there are men who are loving and sweet.
Posted 2/4/14 , edited 2/4/14
lol the more I read this thread, the more it reminds me of this one episode from Key and Peele

"Two husbands trade stories about their wives, and what happened after they looked them in the eye."
17760 cr points
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Posted 2/14/14 , edited 2/15/14
The day I castrate my brother will be the day my dreams come true. Not crazy
42533 cr points
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35 / M
Posted 2/18/14

Its difficult to grasp your point because I have to ask, when you say "men" do you mean all men or just some?

When you say women who suffer emotional trauma do you mean all women or just some of them?

Circumstances can be really important. Generalities don't always clarify. It would help if you could give examples.

Have you considered that a woman's response might be entirely rational to a given situation?
Some women cry to me because they honestly have some serious issues which anyone would weep over. There is nothing irrational in tears over sad things, or even happy things.

Men may go and brood in a cave, or repress hurts momentarily. Often times its emotional overload which causes this temporary response from some men.

But these are maybe's and might's. Not all men are like this. Not all women are irrational.

Your post sounds more like venting. It could be clearer.
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54 / M / In
Posted 2/17/14 , edited 2/18/14
All I know is when my wife is on her monthlys I make an offering of a box of candy and lock myself in my man cave until it's over
Posted 2/17/14 , edited 2/18/14
Just realised someone might use my info. My mom is the best
18200 cr points
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Posted 2/27/14 , edited 2/27/14
The crazy part is when you have a supervisor who just got her menopause. She'll be happy dandy one moment, then a bitch on the next moment.
4418 cr points
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Posted 2/27/14 , edited 2/28/14
What I find funky is that men seem to fail to see how moody they are. My goodness my guy friends are the most fickle, moody people I know. I've never seen anyone mope as dramatically as a guy, you know that thing where they insist they are cool and dandy but spend their whole time sitting around in silence with their arms crossed and brow furrowed. And don't even get me started about angry men. Good gratious. Men get so funny about stuff.

It ain't just ladies. Men have their moody/crazy moments just as often. They just manifest a bit differently.
Sailor Candy Moderator
221236 cr points
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Posted 3/25/14 , edited 3/25/14
OP Nuked. Please feel free to recreate.
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