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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

Okocha101 wrote:

Don't know what to say to that, except that you may want to question your frame of reference as to what constitutes an accomplishment. After all, there is no such thing as an objective accomplishment, whether or not something is worth achieving solely depends on your own subjective values. And if you're truly unhappy with the way things are right now, can you really call yourself accomplished? Maybe it would make you happier to set different goals for yourself is what I'm saying.

That's the only advice that I can give in this situation. I'm a misanthrope, so telling people how to handle their social relationships isn't really my forte


I am not saying that the lack of unaccomplishedness is the presence of the state of being accomplished, I just think I have a lot more going for me than individuals who feel the need to boast of their intelligence quotient. I am not saying I am accomplished, I am saying that I am just not that sad and undignified of a human being sans the social aspect of my life.

I agree with Stephen Hawking when he said "People who boast of their IQ are losers", and I prefer a certain sense of actually acting intelligently than stating so.

That being said, my logic for attending such a thing stems from the erroneous belief of being able to be there. I mostly go out for business and studying, and my reasoning was that if I had an impersonal reason to be there or some special trait as well, then I could all the more easily stay. Akin to rounding up a bunch of people to play a death game where we would have to rely on one another to survive a guantlet of death, lest we all die together. Alternatively, I am engaging in some charitable when the cause interests me, and am considering groups requiring a minimum GPA to join.

I suppose I want to be there for business reasons as that is what I am largely used to, then perhaps find someone to accompany with on a convention, rather than putting myself out there solely looking for a friend. It seems far less embarrassing and productive whether or not I do succeed in my endeavor.

I am considering all the factors that have made me the unhappiest, and I suppose I threw too much of myself at school and work to really work on my social life. It seems that to neglect any one part of life, be it physical or mental or social, really puts a strain on the others.

In any case, I really hate feeling like shit, so I am trying to rectify that. So my goals are to focus a bit more on my social life while still maintaining my progress in my work and studies.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19
Most I can say on the internet (or off it really) is pursue a professional therapy relationship, and once that's going well look into socializing opportunities (game nights, chess clubs, etc.) to adjust interpersonal relationships from extremes to more middle ground. The intensity here just sounds ratcheted up, generally socializing might help and a good therapy relationship can help across the board, and is ideally aimed at achieving the personal goals you choose.

But my impression of the situation and my relevant knowledge is both limited, so I could be off the mark.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

Insomnist wrote:

Most I can say on the internet (or off it really) is pursue a professional therapy relationship, and once that's going well look into socializing opportunities (game nights, chess clubs, etc.) to adjust interpersonal relationships from extremes to more middle ground. The intensity here just sounds ratcheted up, generally socializing might help and a good therapy relationship can help across the board, and is ideally aimed at achieving your personal goals.

But my impression is limited to what's in text, and I don't have any special knowledge to submit in any case; I could be off the mark.


It is good advice, and what I have been trying. However, I later did acknowledge that much like the North Korean doctrine of Juche, self-independence can only go so far before it becomes destructive isolationism. Essentially, one can only do so much internally before they must turn the external, it is likely I cannot fundamentally be happy if I do not make some environmental changes in my life I know fully well that I am capable of doing.



So I am at the "Let me throw stuff at the wall to see what sticks" at the moment, but as a whole, I do not think this issue is solely isolated to a few such as myself. Having looked back at my social media and social communication app addictions and with those who I communicated, I realize that society these days is so much more lonely and isolated than it was a few decades ago.

Living with such freely available technology to communicate allows us to fool ourselves into having the deep connections we crave but readily at our convenience, bonds that are as ephemeral and fragile as they are ultimately meaningless. This is not simply a matter of being more or less intelligent, because it seems half of those individuals you can find in a given chatroom experience this sort of loneliness that stems from being fooled by this technological masquerade.

Ostensibly, this does have some notable benefits, where if one chooses to discuss some meaningful topic interwoven with the more casual elements that characterize socializing, it becomes much easier to start up an honest rapport where people will tell you their vulnerabilities, their insecurities, hopes and dreams.

So I am trying to start a more physical series of friendships, but without a keyboard and my now deteriorating vocal capabilities, (Searching up Augmentative and alternative communication, or AAC, devices) I never realize how difficult it is to establish such a relationship in the 21st century. Ultimately though, I know I am not alone in my suffering and feel that as most individuals crave such deep connections, that they have also tried to use technology as a crutch.

Interestingly enough, the people I note who seem to have fulfilling connections offline are usually military, active or veterans my age, who certainly seem to have their shit together, so to say.

Man, socializing in the 21st century sucks. I am going to write a book on how to socialize in the 21st century then.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Interestingly enough, the people I note who seem to have fulfilling connections offline are usually military, active or veterans my age, who certainly seem to have their shit together, so to say.

The military is a pretty big proponent of socialization.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

XxDarkSasuxX wrote:


PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Interestingly enough, the people I note who seem to have fulfilling connections offline are usually military, active or veterans my age, who certainly seem to have their shit together, so to say.

The military is a pretty big proponent of socialization.


It is suspected by clinical researchers that one of the overall driving forces for the increased rates of suicide among former military veterans is that once someone returns home, they lose that fundamental social network, even more so than any suspected case of PTSD. To mitigate this, some propose an emphasis not on reintegration, but towards keeping that social network alive, among other things (PTSD and physical rehabilitatory treatment, career adjustments, etc.)

Though having heard of the many benefits of serving in the military, it is not at all a bad idea to enlist, honestly. Unfortunately, I was not so much as experiencing the growing pains of late adolescence as I was mentally unstable on a fundamental level and given having a history thereof, I would likely not have been allowed to enlist.

Delving into this epidemic of loneliness, it seems this type of treatment could apply to many other societal issues, such as drug abuse to an extent and treatment of dementia associated diseases.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19
Definitely, pseudo-kinship with other service members is a huge priority for a military.

I'm not sure technology is an issue, it seems to have more to do with persistent communities not really being a thing as travel and relocation becomes easier and more of a norm. It's becoming overwhelmingly common for people to enter new phases in their life surrounded by entirely new people without a persistent form of community.

It's not that technology is butting in but that people are losing touch at high rates regardless of it.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

Insomnist wrote:

Definitely, pseudo-kinship with other service members is a huge priority for a military.

I'm not sure technology is an issue, it seems to have more to do with persistent communities not really being a thing as travel and relocation becomes easier and more of a norm. It's becoming overwhelmingly common for people to enter new phases in their life surrounded by entirely new people without a persistent form of community.

It's not that technology is butting in but that people are losing touch at high rates regardless of it.


I don't quite blame technology, but our reaction to it, in the vein of the common fear that "technology will surpass our ability to use it wisely". It is a great misunderstanding of what it is and what it is not, what it can do and what it cannot do.

Down to it, it is a causally assumed ignorance that has impacted our generation and the next much more profoundly than it did our forefathers, and it seems to stem from our inability to realize why it is that we are lonely. We look to Facebook, Instagram, Discord, and such for replies to our messages, but instead of examining the situation to question the desire, we tend to blame the suffering on having the desire not be fulfilled.

Technology, of course, can change a culture, but just as an environment needs genetic material to affect, so does the genes only express themselves in response to the environment. We have to keep in mind that technology has radically altered our norms from that of the 80s and 90s. In any case, this isn't solely limited to the sites I mentioned or the apps but include as you stated travel.

First and foremost, we ought to use it responsibly.

Yet, I would not say travel is not nearly as responsible as technology, despite the disruption of stability, because moving is still not as common. More notably, it is our world that has gotten larger, be it our commute to work to opportunities to study abroad, but this doesn't necessarily translate to moving to be a persistent cause for loneliness or its presence as an actual norm; rather, a growing one. This is against technology that has touched every facet of our lives.

And...my homicidal urges are back right now. I shall be right back, lest you see me on the news for having murdered a couple dozen people in vengeance for what just one of them did to me.

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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

Insomnist wrote:

It's not that technology is butting in but that people are losing touch at high rates regardless of it.

I think this pretty much nails it on the head. I don't like creating new interpersonal relationships if I don't think I will be able to keep them once I am no longer able to have physical contact (i.e. hang out with) said people. It seems that, once you are no longer within a "reasonable drive's" length of someone, you slowly start to lose the ability to get in contact with them despite the wealth of resources that we have to do so. Understandable behavior as this may be, considering the fact that it is already a huge investment of time to socialize with people near you as opposed to also spending a large amount of time with people you once knew in person, it is just a temporary reprieve for one of peoples' most base of desires.

I have to also disagree with the notion that online interpersonal relationships are as much a crutch as they are a much less effective way of combatting said desire. Online relationships come with the ease of socialization but lack personality. Whereas a, once, physical interpersonal relationship may become strained when people become geographically separated, an online relationship will always have that sort of 'strain', and thus it's effect is much less noticed.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19
Also, before I fall asleep, something I have seen on the JoJo Reddit.


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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

XxDarkSasuxX wrote:


Insomnist wrote:

It's not that technology is butting in but that people are losing touch at high rates regardless of it.

I think this pretty much nails it on the head. I don't like creating new interpersonal relationships if I don't think I will be able to keep them once I am no longer able to have physical contact (i.e. hang out with) said people. It seems that, once you are no longer within a "reasonable drive's" length of someone, you slowly start to lose the ability to get in contact with them despite the wealth of resources that we have to do so. Understandable behavior as this may be, considering the fact that it is already a huge investment of time to socialize with people near you as opposed to also spending a large amount of time with people you once knew in person, it is just a temporary reprieve for one of peoples' most base of desires.

I have to also disagree with the notion that online interpersonal relationships are as much a crutch as they are a much less effective way of combatting said desire. Online relationships come with the ease of socialization but lack personality. Whereas a, once, physical interpersonal relationship may become strained when people become geographically separated, an online relationship will always have that sort of 'strain', and thus it's effect is much less noticed.


I think the act of socializing is a crutch as a means to ward off the encroaching sense of loneliness in the same way you described how it is far less effective. Essentially, it is a rather bad crutch if used as one. Which on another note, does tie into the self esteem issues I notice many people have in general.

Of course, I should clarify I used the term interpersonal relationship to cover the gamut of any meaningful friendship, and not necessarily romantic.

Alright, getting sleepy now hopefully. I shouldn't want to kill his entire family and classmates for what he did. That's immoral. Nighty night.
Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

I am not saying that the lack of unaccomplishedness is the presence of the state of being accomplished, I just think I have a lot more going for me than individuals who feel the need to boast of their intelligence quotient. I am not saying I am accomplished, I am saying that I am just not that sad and undignified of a human being sans the social aspect of my life.

I agree with Stephen Hawking when he said "People who boast of their IQ are losers", and I prefer a certain sense of actually acting intelligently than stating so.


I have to admit that I seem to have had a false impression of what MENSA is, I thought you were talking about some sort of support group In my defense, it's a really hard thing to google since it also happens to be the German word for canteen or refectory.

My utter dislike of people who think themselves "intelligent" aside, the original point was supposed to be that considering oneself to be someone else's better, no matter the reason, is usually a poor idea, especially when one is fundamentally unhappy with one's own life. Human beings just don't exist on a scale. One may think oneself to be accomplished due to reaching academic or business related goals, but in the end these things don't have any intrinsic value to them and the only reason we consider them important is because our society tells us that they are. The idea of "I'm too good for that" isn't only harmful in most cases, it's also based on a very limited and selective world view. Never be afraid to question your prorities and abandon any misled pride you may have, no matter how hard that sounds.

Well, that's my general advice.
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19
G'night PV.

I also don't want to demonize MENSA without even seeing the inside of a meeting, it could be wholesome idk.

Bouncing back to anime for a sec, I think I'm kinda sorta almost caught up on everything.

Boogiepop
Dororo
Girly Air Force
Promised Neverland
Kaguya-sama
Endro
Manaria Friends
Tensura
15/18
12/24
12/12
12/12
9/12
12/12
10/10
24/24
Close.
Caught up.
Finished.
Finished.
Close.
Finished.
Finished.
Finished.

Was saving Shield Hero and SAO for when they were done, which I guess is now or very soon for SH (second half of SAO isn't until October from what I gather). I'll watch them backwards in chunks to reduce stress...

Didn't realize Manaria Friends ended last week, guess I don't have that to look forward to anymore either.
Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

Insomnist wrote:

Was saving Shield Hero and SAO for when they were done, which I guess is now or very soon for SH (second half of SAO isn't until October from what I gather). I'll watch them backwards in chunks to reduce stress...


Might consider picking up Shield Hero if it gets far enough. I have read the manga up to where it was at about a year ago and wasn't too impressed with the later story progression, so I decided to sit out the adaptation, but I've been hearing good things.

Also, wasn't SAO originally confirmed to be three or more cours in a row or am I just remembering this wrong?
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Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

Okocha101 wrote:

Might consider picking up Shield Hero if it gets far enough. I have read the manga up to where it was at about a year ago and wasn't too impressed with the later story progression, so I decided to sit out the adaptation, but I've been hearing good things.

I'd like to keep up with it since it's a big isekai/fantasy and Raph/Chicken Wings might do something cute.

But in general I'm not overly enthusiastic so it might not get finished.

I've also read ahead in the manga before getting bored but the anime stressed me out anyway lol.


Okocha101 wrote:

Also, wasn't SAO originally confirmed to be three or more cours in a row or am I just remembering this wrong?

That's what I thought too but MAL has split it into two entries and the next two cours are down for October 2019.

SAO Alicization: War of Underworld

I generally feel better when I see that happen though since it's better for the staff.
Posted 3/31/19 , edited 3/31/19

Insomnist wrote:

That's what I thought too but MAL has split it into two entries and the next two cours are down for October 2019.

SAO Alicization: War of Underworld

I generally feel better when I see that happen though since it's better for the staff.


I do too, but this kind of thing always make me wonder what the reasons for it were. Is it just a case of miscommunication, a corporate decision or actually the result of animators unionizing and demanding better working conditions? It'd be great if it were the latter, but I seriously doubt it.
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