Post Reply Here's my very short story ^_^
433 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / PA, for now
Posted 2/8/08 , edited 2/8/08
I call it 'A Chimney with no Fireplace' lol, any feedback would really be appreciated;

Canto I

On one darkly overcast day, with
the wind blowing strong and steady
against my back, I suddenly noticed
a chimney on one side of the old
Bloodworth estate. I knew there was
no fireplace inside, for that was
the building in which I had lodged
over three years. after very little
thought I decided to climb to the
top of the two story grange and
look down the wide hole in the top
of the brick stack. As a thirst
driven bird is drawn to water, I
felt that I had to find the bottom
of that dark chasm... so I jumped.

Canto II

I felt as though I fell forever.
The darkness lifted it's self up to
greet me, rising above me, it laughed
as it overpowered my will to see.
But the desire in me to know where I
was could not be defeated and as my
eyes adjusted, I hit the ground. I
had anticipated allot of pain, but
it didn't hurt. I lay motionless for
awhile, trying to assess within me
whether I had shattered any bones. It
was then that I realized something
had broken my fall.

Canto III

I could not yet see well enough to
discern all of what I held in my hands,
but I was certain that it was some red
fabric trimmed with fur. Amongst the
folds of this cloth were a number of
oddly shaped stones or something, and
finely wrapped parcels. Not wishing to
stay there long enough to find out what
this all meant, I began searching for
an end to my enclosure. I walked for
over five minutes and saw nothing, this
should have seemed odd to me... but at
the time I hadn't expected anything

Canto IV

What did surprise me, however, was a
faint light I could barely distinguish
far ahead. I trudged on, struggling
against an incredible urge to lay
down and fall asleep. Finally I arrived
at a door, open only a crack, soft
grey light shone from the other side.
I opened the door as quietly as I
could, to my relief, nobody was on
the other side. There was instead, a
small table with some chairs and on
the table sat a book. I walked over
to read the title, "The Book of Times
Past and Things Forgotten" was written
in silver on the faded black canvas

Canto V

I looked around me before reading
further; the room wasn't very big, it
was dimly lit from a source I could
not ascertain. There were two doors,
one on either side of the room: the
one I had come through remained open,
engulfed in the darkness I had just
escaped, while the other door appeared
tightly shut. On the far end of the
room stood a bookshelf filled with
more books than I have ever seen in
one room, on it's top sat two potted
orchids. As I stood admiring this, I
heard footsteps drawing close from
behind the closed door to my right.
I turned to face this new apparition
just as the doorknob began to turn.

Canto VI

As the door swung open I stared in
disbelief, I wasn't sure that I could
trust my eyes. The man that faced me
from the other side of the framework
had dirty blond bangs that dropped
freely around the sides of his face,
his eyes looked green at first, but
seemed bluish grey when in a different
light, he was fairly thin and stood
about five foot ten. His continence
reminded me, at the time, of a lost
child. As I tried to understand our
anything but vague resemblance, he
waved me to himself and asked that I
follow him.

Canto VII

I began to step forward without
thought, but my reason kicked in and
as I moved away from this stranger
I asked him why I should trust his
intentions. He only replied with the
request that I read the third chapter
of the book I held. Looking at my
hands, I remembered that I had picked
up the book of times past and things
forgotten when I first entered the
room. So I opened the ancient looking
pages and began to read the first
line of the specified chapter, but
before I was finish I quickly shut
the book and set it on the table.
Just one line was enough to convince
me to follow this person who watched
me so intently. And what I saw when my
duplicate stepped aside struck me as
oddly surprising.

Canto VIII

The room that he was leading me into
resembled a long hall with white walls
and several doors on either side. Above
each door hung an old clock, every
last one was unique and each kept a
different time. The hallway ended however,
at a single, clockless, door. This is
where the stranger stopped, he opened
the door and I was greeted by a large
lonely mirror. My companion took me by
the hand and bade me to step through
this glass wall. I started to state some
obvious objections to his request, but
his look was persuasive so I planted
the soul of my shoe firmly against
the center of the mirror.

Canto IX

As you might have expected, if
you're strange, my foot went easily
through. So I pushed the rest of
my body into this sea of glass and
when my face reached the other side
I saw that I was standing on the top
of my bedroom dresser. I stepped down
to the floor and turned to speak to
my new friend, but the figure that
looked back at me was no more than
my reflection in the mirror mounted
on my wall. I sat down on my bed in
disappointment, and as I wondered
whether this was all a dream,
I fell asleep.

Thanks for reading.^_^
366 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / F / Sydney, Australia
Posted 2/9/08 , edited 2/10/08
I like it, a story about trusting yourself I guess.
433 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / PA, for now
Posted 2/9/08 , edited 2/10/08
^ ^ Thanks, I really never thought about a meaning behind it... I guess a story should mean something different to each reader.

Posted 3/17/08 , edited 3/18/08
But, yeah I remember reading that when you first wrote it. I like it, it gives me a feeling of non-reality.
433 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / PA, for now
Posted 5/5/08 , edited 5/6/08
Non-reality? lol...

Yeah, the santa thing was maranda's idea if I remember right.
Posted 5/6/08 , edited 5/7/08
haha. thats awesome.
You must be logged in to post.