Post Reply Can you check out my site?
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Posted 8/13/17 , edited 8/13/17
I encountered her in a dream, looking in her eyes made me realize how much i would miss her when she's gone, even thought this is my first time realizing that, it seamed like that feeling was already a part of me, i try to reach her but a force repels me, its voice echoes through my head saying that her eyes can only look at me from a distance, a distance that I can't bear anymore, my heart finally broke and pieces of myself scattered throughout the universe, looking for being close to her again.

This just the beginning of a book that i am making, theres also logos and an anime that i created

https://www.astondville.me
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Posted 8/13/17 , edited 8/13/17
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Posted 8/14/17 , edited 8/14/17
It sounds interesting and logos in your website are of a high quality. However, you have a lot of errors in what I think is your introduction. Of course, just because you break the rules doesn't mean your story will not be good, but it makes it a lot harder for the reader to comprehend your writing. Fix what you can and get help from other writers or editors.

P.S. I know long sentences could be awesome and mystical, but try to break the paragraph into multiple sentences.
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